katy2018

so I recently moved back in with my mom. One of the requirements for me to live here is that I go to 90 meetings in 90 days. At first I was fine with it but now its like I know I need to go but I'm trying to figure out a way not to go. I don't understand why. I think part of the reason is because I feel so out of place at the meetings. I'm new to the area so I don't know anyone and all the meetings that I've gone to, although the people are very nice, I feel like an outsider. I don't know...I was just wondering if anyone else has ever felt like this.

Sikkisirus

Welcome to SR Katy I don't go to meetings myself but there's lots here who do and if you hang around they'll no doubt be along to give you some great advice

Astro

Hi Katy, and welcome to SR!

I know what you mean, when I started going to meetings I thought I'd never fit in. I could only hear the differences rather than the similarities, when I should've been hearing vice-versa. I wasn't court ordered to do 90 in 90, I just went as often as possible because I felt the alternative was death or a life of misery.

You'd have to tie me up to keep me away from an AA meeting now. I've been going almost every day for 4 1/2 years, nothing makes me happier than being around people who love and support me unconditionally, it gives me comfort to know that I can head to a meeting anytime something doesn't feel quite right in life. AA has given me a great life, so I figure I'll keep on going if it works that good

tommyk

"One of the requirements for me to live here is that I go to 90 meetings in 90 days."

Katy... I'm not sure exactly what transpired that led up this point and this requirement.

But right now I'm not sure you should be doing alot of thinking outside of "how can I be DAMN sure I get to a meeting today?" type of thinking.

Go to 90 meetings in 90 days, keep a roof over your head, listen in meetings, perform an 'evaluation' of your feeelings after the 90 day accomplishment.

Once you get used to going to meetings you won't be an outsider.

Keep coming back.

katy2018

thanks for the feed back. I know that I have to go...I need to stay clean and more importantly I WANT to stay clean. I guess it's just hard stepping outside of my comfort zone...but then again no one ever said this would be easy.

Wolfchild

Hello & welcome to the Sober Recovery community.

Sikkisirus

It IS tough stepping outside of ones comfort zone, but once you do make the step and settle in you'll no doubt find it great. Im wishing you the best

Firehazard

Keep on going to them until you want to.

Plus if your feeling out of place help out a bit with set up, break down, coffee,

greeting anything to get involved.

rjmano

Hi katy, this happens to me all the time as well. I know that I need to go to AA meetings (in fact, I even like them) but for some reason my mind is telling me to stay home. A friend of mine said the following at a meeting last week: "my disease wants me alone, that is where it knows it can prevail". I believe this to be the absolute truth. So going to an AA mtg is the best way for me not to isolate, which is one of the first signs of relaps.

anyways, this is my first post. I'll introduce myself in a new thread later.

katy2018

so I went to a meeting tonight...and it loved it! it was exactly what I needed. I met a few people who were very nice and "made" me talk to them (im really shy). I feel great right now - I never expected to feel this way after a meeting

Lenina

(((katy)))

I'm so happy you had a good experience! Next time, do as suggested: Go early and help set up, stay late and help tidy up. Accept offers to go for coffee. I had some of my best experiences and met really nice people this way!

And do stick around here! SR has great people who really care about you!

Love,

Lenina

tyler

Welcome to SR!!!!

Glad you had a good experience at your meeting. Ive found one thing about "stepping out of your comfort zone" that is kinda cool. Once you push yourself to do it, it feels very empowering!! It's almost always not nearly as bad as you make it out in your mind, and you feel a great sense of accomplishment, just for the act of trying, even if it's not the greatest experience.

Once again, I'm glad it was a great experience, that makes it all the sweeter!! Keep it up and keep doing what you need to do to stay clean. Take care.