unmanageable?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Butte Montana
Posts: 2
unmanageable?
we admittted that we were alcoholic and that are lives had become unmanageable.
Unmanageable?
My life was crazy, my life was destroyed, my life was tormented,
my life was over. My life was absolutely insane. Like they talk about in the second step.
I couldn't drink and i couldn't not drink. If i drank i was sick, if i didn't drink i was sick. I had stolen some of my uncles morphine
( he was dying from cancer ) it's pretty bad when you steal a dying mans drugs. I was so paranoid that there was a gap about an inch at the bottom of the front door. I use to identify people by their shoes. I pretty much was a shut in. I didn't even go to my families for thanksgiving or christmas. And the reason for that was because i was so ashamed of myself because i had beat the **** out of my daughter. That is the very worst thing i did when i was drinking. I just wanted to die.
Unmanageable???????
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2
step one
spiritualone,I hope you understand that it's that our lives are unmanageable and not AND our lives are unmanageable.One of the biggest mistakes for "meeting makers" is that they think their drinking caused the the unmanageable life.Youre life is a mess because you are in a spiritual blackout and drinking is youre solution not youre problem.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Pugetopolis
Posts: 2,384
Fill In The Blank
spiritualone,I hope you understand that it's that our lives are unmanageable and not AND our lives are unmanageable.One of the biggest mistakes for "meeting makers" is that they think their drinking caused the the unmanageable life.Youre life is a mess because you are in a spiritual blackout and drinking is youre solution not youre problem.
Take a look at page 52. Those human problems. Try managing those problems sober.
Big Book references from Alcoholics Anonymous, First Edition
Right
Yeah
This is indeed how the unmanageability manifests itself.
p. 52
"We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn't control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn't make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn't seem to be of real help to other people."
This is indeed how the unmanageability manifests itself.
p. 52
"We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn't control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn't make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn't seem to be of real help to other people."
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: far left of center
Posts: 237
Yeah
This is indeed how the unmanageability manifests itself.
p. 52
"We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn't control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn't make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn't seem to be of real help to other people."
This is indeed how the unmanageability manifests itself.
p. 52
"We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn't control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn't make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn't seem to be of real help to other people."
"I am having trouble with personal relationships, I can't control my emotional natures, I am a prey to misery and depression, I can't make a living, I have a feeling of uselessness, I am full of fear, I am unhappy, I cant seem to be of real help to other people."
I could barely get through it. It dawned on me that when my parents would ask me "How are you doing" my response would be "what are you accusing me of?!?"
If my boss called me to his office for a consultation, by the time I walked 25 ft to his office, I had run through my mind every reason he may be firing me and would be prepared to submit my resignation.
I finally understood that my life was unmanageble.
And then my sponsor posed the question, "How much longer can you sit in that hell and not drink? How much longer will you feel that misery before you drink in spite of everything you know about yourself? How much longer can you continue to 'just don't drink'?"
I had no answer. I cried.
What? Was I going to wake up tomorrow and snap my fingers, "Today I choose not to be full of fear! Today I choose to mange my relationships in a healthy manner!" Hah! Yeah right. I didn't have the power to change this feeling inside me. If I did, I would have done it years before.
I finally understood powerlessness. After 10 years of giving lip service to the first step, I got it. I finally knew my most sincere desire to stay stopped would give way to a need for momentary relief. I understood, finally, I was doomed to repeat my endless spiral down.
Only then did he present me with the solution. And I grabbed on and haven't let go.
And everything I was promised has come true.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)