needhelp
i've done my almost
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
needhelp
Hi all-
I'm doing the 90 in 90. I have a sponsor and I believe I've already taken step 1 (for those AA's out there). I've also told pretty darn everybody I know what's going on with me.
...but, just last night, I drank. I not only drank at home, but then went to a bar, got shyte faced, and now my memories are that of a flash photography class for that evening. I also drove home (I realize how bad this is, my father actually died b/c of this and I also know how selfish and dangerous this is. I also have a dui on my record).
I've lost a great girl, a great job, I also had to move from a town I loved. Not to mention all the relationships in general that I've lost or are on the verge of losing.
My plan is this - I'm going to give my keys, EVERY NIGHT, to my sister. This will stop the drinking and driving. I will also continue to work the steps with my sponsor (he doesn't know about last night, yet).
What I'd like to know is - any other advice out there for someone who wants to stop, knows he needs to, likes AA and sees the benefits of the program. I'm fully aware of what needs to be done, but need help doing it. I don't want to die or lose anymore.
Thank you.
Kjell
I'm doing the 90 in 90. I have a sponsor and I believe I've already taken step 1 (for those AA's out there). I've also told pretty darn everybody I know what's going on with me.
...but, just last night, I drank. I not only drank at home, but then went to a bar, got shyte faced, and now my memories are that of a flash photography class for that evening. I also drove home (I realize how bad this is, my father actually died b/c of this and I also know how selfish and dangerous this is. I also have a dui on my record).
I've lost a great girl, a great job, I also had to move from a town I loved. Not to mention all the relationships in general that I've lost or are on the verge of losing.
My plan is this - I'm going to give my keys, EVERY NIGHT, to my sister. This will stop the drinking and driving. I will also continue to work the steps with my sponsor (he doesn't know about last night, yet).
What I'd like to know is - any other advice out there for someone who wants to stop, knows he needs to, likes AA and sees the benefits of the program. I'm fully aware of what needs to be done, but need help doing it. I don't want to die or lose anymore.
Thank you.
Kjell
Disposable Hero
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Being, ME
Posts: 3,758
Anything i could tell you would probably be similiar to what your sponsor may have already told you. It's up to you to follow direction and become willing to live a new way of life...or not. i hope that you do find it within yourself to accept your problem and surrender to a power greater than yourself soon.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
I am glad you're giving up the keys to your car. That is way too dangerous.
There is lots of hope. You don't have to go through a night like that again. I'm not an AA person, but I can tell you what worked for me. I got rid of all the alcohol in the house and still never have any in the house. I changed my routines and made sure I had was busy doing something else during the times I would have been drinking. I avoided certain people and certain places and I wouldn't go anywhere where alcohol was being served for a long time. I had to distance myself for quite awhile. I reconnected with my spiritual self, and I began to recover.
There is lots of hope. You don't have to go through a night like that again. I'm not an AA person, but I can tell you what worked for me. I got rid of all the alcohol in the house and still never have any in the house. I changed my routines and made sure I had was busy doing something else during the times I would have been drinking. I avoided certain people and certain places and I wouldn't go anywhere where alcohol was being served for a long time. I had to distance myself for quite awhile. I reconnected with my spiritual self, and I began to recover.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
I'm not an AA person either Kjell - but you're right...it is time for action, not words.
Giving your keys to your sister sounds like a good idea with the driving thing, and speaking with your sponsor, or some other AA person, or posting here are all great alternatives to drinking...do something before you take that forst drink and nights like last night need never happen again kjell
D
Giving your keys to your sister sounds like a good idea with the driving thing, and speaking with your sponsor, or some other AA person, or posting here are all great alternatives to drinking...do something before you take that forst drink and nights like last night need never happen again kjell
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 89
You have to recognize that you with alcohol is not the real you. It is a fake. Once you look beyond this facade, you will be able to see yourself as you truly are. This is the most rewarding of all.
Try to be practical. Do I really want to drink a substance to be who I am, or do I want to be who I am regardless of everything else? I imagine myself stranded on an island and who I would be then. No alcohol, and what would you do then? Would you curl up and die, or tackle the situation and survive?
Good luck to you and best wishes!
Try to be practical. Do I really want to drink a substance to be who I am, or do I want to be who I am regardless of everything else? I imagine myself stranded on an island and who I would be then. No alcohol, and what would you do then? Would you curl up and die, or tackle the situation and survive?
Good luck to you and best wishes!
i've done my almost
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
Well said Reese. The other thing is that alcohal isn't even doing what it used to do. Now I just black out. I understand the progressive nature of this disease fully well.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
I cannot keep myself sober, I will choose to drink eventually if given that choice.
It was your self-will that made you drink... Simply put, you wanted to.
Look at those next two steps... two and three. Read them again, read about them in the big book. Your higher power will restore you to sanity and will take that choice (free will) away from you, but you gotta ask Him.
The answers are there in the steps... I am a year sober in about a week and a half... I work those first three steps every day. In fact I was talking to an AA at my home group after the meeting tonight... about that third step... how often?? We pretty much agreed...... constantly.
You asked... I am glad you are here, to share that with us. Keep coming back
Mark
any other advice out there for someone who wants to stop, knows he needs to, likes AA and sees the benefits of the program. I'm fully aware of what needs to be done, but need help doing it. I don't want to die or lose anymore.
Look at those next two steps... two and three. Read them again, read about them in the big book. Your higher power will restore you to sanity and will take that choice (free will) away from you, but you gotta ask Him.
The answers are there in the steps... I am a year sober in about a week and a half... I work those first three steps every day. In fact I was talking to an AA at my home group after the meeting tonight... about that third step... how often?? We pretty much agreed...... constantly.
You asked... I am glad you are here, to share that with us. Keep coming back
Mark
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: SE and then South some more
Posts: 2,648
Originally Posted by Kjell 
Thank you. I'm willing to do whatever it takes. It's time for action, not just words.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Hi make sure you are always honest with your sponsor and folow his guidance...i like the idea of hitting as many meetings as you can as, IMO, this will allow you to get it without elongating the pain you are going through by keeping on drinking and doing things you otherwise would not normally do.
Yeah man best to give the keys to your sister for now, you need to be alive to do the program, i think;-)
AA has saved me from the madness and with working the steps you can have a new life...imagine that:-)
Yeah man best to give the keys to your sister for now, you need to be alive to do the program, i think;-)
AA has saved me from the madness and with working the steps you can have a new life...imagine that:-)
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: CT
Posts: 96
I'm not really qualified to give advise having just passed 8 days sober... I am also not an AA person but I benefit(ed) from a very powerful influence in the form of my wife.... meaning I couldn't have got my head on straight without her or other strong hands... I also have an eastern spiritual view (not active but passive and enjoy the calm it brings). You need support, in whatever form you find it or feel comfortable with.
I suggest you go to the local bars and package stores, with support, and simply say do not serve me.... this takes away the immediate convenience... yes you can drive further but it takes longer and maybe that time will help you reflect on what you are doing. It is lame, and some places won;t help but if you live in a small community as I do, it works surprisingly well and the next drink is an hour away! This doesn't cure the underlying problem but is an extension for pouring all the poison out at home.... you still have the choice to make of not drinking.
We all hope you find your feet on the right path, and join us in enjoying life and reawakening who you once were.... there are many wise heads here.... use that wisdom. Namaste.
I suggest you go to the local bars and package stores, with support, and simply say do not serve me.... this takes away the immediate convenience... yes you can drive further but it takes longer and maybe that time will help you reflect on what you are doing. It is lame, and some places won;t help but if you live in a small community as I do, it works surprisingly well and the next drink is an hour away! This doesn't cure the underlying problem but is an extension for pouring all the poison out at home.... you still have the choice to make of not drinking.
We all hope you find your feet on the right path, and join us in enjoying life and reawakening who you once were.... there are many wise heads here.... use that wisdom. Namaste.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 957
((Kjell))
Great, always great advice here.
I hear your remorse and regret and feel your pain.
Do those 90 in 90 days, tell your sponser everything that U said here.
Write out a list: What will drinking accompish? Number them, just write whatever comes to mind. Keep that list in your wallet.
U have a lot of work to do, so do I, 35 days sober now, after my recent relapse, after having over 5 years.
Develope different coping skills, since the ones U have R not working.
Get rid of your friends that drink, change your routine.
Hope some of this helps.
Rooting 4 U, keep posting and reaching out.
Stay strong.
Great, always great advice here.
I hear your remorse and regret and feel your pain.
Do those 90 in 90 days, tell your sponser everything that U said here.
Write out a list: What will drinking accompish? Number them, just write whatever comes to mind. Keep that list in your wallet.
U have a lot of work to do, so do I, 35 days sober now, after my recent relapse, after having over 5 years.
Develope different coping skills, since the ones U have R not working.
Get rid of your friends that drink, change your routine.
Hope some of this helps.
Rooting 4 U, keep posting and reaching out. Stay strong.
Blu**ed Lines...A ClockWork SR
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: AZ
Posts: 2,529
"any other advice out there for someone"
Read and Post here. SMART workouts (google it and ask around here in the secular recovery area). AA is a great way to physically meet sober lifestyle oriented individuals. Individual, group counseling, drugs (scrips subscribed only by a psych or other licensed individual specializing in addiction). If you decide to go after some drugs, be totally honest in you screening or you can do more harm than good. I'm still figuring out the right mix of the afore mentioned. Humbly on Day 37 this time. Best of luck and at the very least keep posting.
Read and Post here. SMART workouts (google it and ask around here in the secular recovery area). AA is a great way to physically meet sober lifestyle oriented individuals. Individual, group counseling, drugs (scrips subscribed only by a psych or other licensed individual specializing in addiction). If you decide to go after some drugs, be totally honest in you screening or you can do more harm than good. I'm still figuring out the right mix of the afore mentioned. Humbly on Day 37 this time. Best of luck and at the very least keep posting.
did you survive the day? I really hope things are going well for you - definitely thinking about you!
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