Living in color......
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Midland, NC
Posts: 1,266
Living in color......
I'm 10 months clean now and I've been doing a lot of 'reflecting' on my life. It seems as though that when I think about all those years of abusing opiates and cocaine, my memory of those times are all in black and white. Now that I'm in recovery, it's like everything is in color and I'm seeing things...diffrently.
I had 'tunnel vision' during those days, and thinking about it now, I saw nothing but that pill bottle, that little baggie, that stem. It makes me realize how much time I threw away. Honestly, I remember nothing else.
Nowadays, I notice everything and it's almost as if I've been reborn. I walk outside, here at home and realize how blessed I am to have such a beautiful yard and beautiful trees. We have pond on our property, and before, I never even had any interest in going down by it, but now, I find it so peaceful and beautiful. We have a screened in porch off of our bedroom that overlooks that pond. Before, the only time I would go out there, would be to hit the pipe, but now, I love to go out there and read. Before, I never realized just how quiet it is around here, because I had so much noise going on in my head. Recovery has given me a new appreciation for the things that for so long I took for granted. Fall is one of my favorite times of the year, and I'm looking forward to it this year for sure. Last year, I was in rehab during the fall. I am so grateful for my recovery and for now, seeing things in color.
Thanks for letting me be 'mushy'.
Penny
I had 'tunnel vision' during those days, and thinking about it now, I saw nothing but that pill bottle, that little baggie, that stem. It makes me realize how much time I threw away. Honestly, I remember nothing else.
Nowadays, I notice everything and it's almost as if I've been reborn. I walk outside, here at home and realize how blessed I am to have such a beautiful yard and beautiful trees. We have pond on our property, and before, I never even had any interest in going down by it, but now, I find it so peaceful and beautiful. We have a screened in porch off of our bedroom that overlooks that pond. Before, the only time I would go out there, would be to hit the pipe, but now, I love to go out there and read. Before, I never realized just how quiet it is around here, because I had so much noise going on in my head. Recovery has given me a new appreciation for the things that for so long I took for granted. Fall is one of my favorite times of the year, and I'm looking forward to it this year for sure. Last year, I was in rehab during the fall. I am so grateful for my recovery and for now, seeing things in color.
Thanks for letting me be 'mushy'.
Penny
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((Penny))
A friend of mine, from here, and I were talking one day about how we have days where we are almost overwhelmed at how we can find such beauty in our own back yards. It's such a great thing to no longer be a slave to something that just sucks the life out of you, isn't it?
I've seen SO much progress in you!! Congrats on your 10 months!!!!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
A friend of mine, from here, and I were talking one day about how we have days where we are almost overwhelmed at how we can find such beauty in our own back yards. It's such a great thing to no longer be a slave to something that just sucks the life out of you, isn't it?
I've seen SO much progress in you!! Congrats on your 10 months!!!!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: New zealand
Posts: 10
i want what you have im still on step one and sometimes hate been the addict i am i was a addict before i started using my selfharm started very young then me salf harmined with sports springboard diving taking all risk just to get a RUSH i feel im going to be on STEP ONE FOREVER
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
I really love this post. I have had those moments alot myself.
It really is the simplest things sometimes that can make you so aware and at peace.
I love those moments.
Great job on your clean time and for continuing to make it. Especially after a few weeks ago.
I am still admiring the fact you left it for what it was. I myself wouldnt have done that.
Your doing fantastic.
It really is the simplest things sometimes that can make you so aware and at peace.
I love those moments.
Great job on your clean time and for continuing to make it. Especially after a few weeks ago.
I am still admiring the fact you left it for what it was. I myself wouldnt have done that.
Your doing fantastic.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Midland, NC
Posts: 1,266
serenity, honey, you'll get there. I'm ten months clean and I'm just now getting there. I've struggled a lot with urges to use. I'm just coming to a point in recovery that I'm getting more and more comfortable with this 'new life' and for once in my life, I'm happy. I don't want anything to alter that, I'm happy without the help of drugs. That's a true miracle to someone who's last 10 years have been ravaged by drugs. I'm blessed.
Hang it there...You will get there also.
Penny
Hang it there...You will get there also.
Penny
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: New York
Posts: 775
Wow Penny I know exactly how you feel.I have lived here for over 40 yrs and I notice flowers I have never saw before I see birds and bugs that I didnt know existed.ITS A BEAUTIFUL THING. Thanks for starting this thread
Faerie
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: South Australia
Posts: 396
Penny,
That was such an inspiring post, thank you.
As a witch I too greatly appreciate nature and all it's creatures. My house in Adelaide backs on to a reserve and we have everything; birds, rabbits, lizards, even the occasional snake. I also have a gorgeous cat and dog that bring me more joy in my life than anything.
The fact that you have been clean for 10 months, and had a similar addiction to mine gives me hope that I can get clean too.
Thank you so much, you are beautiful,
Much love, xx
That was such an inspiring post, thank you.
As a witch I too greatly appreciate nature and all it's creatures. My house in Adelaide backs on to a reserve and we have everything; birds, rabbits, lizards, even the occasional snake. I also have a gorgeous cat and dog that bring me more joy in my life than anything.
The fact that you have been clean for 10 months, and had a similar addiction to mine gives me hope that I can get clean too.
Thank you so much, you are beautiful,
Much love, xx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Midland, NC
Posts: 1,266
Belle...You will, I promise. Just hang in there. Look, only by the skin of my teeth am I 10 months clean. I've had some really close calls.
But now, I'm starting to get it. I'm starting to realize the beauty in not only the things around me, but the beauty in my recovery and I'm so grateful everyday.
Stay focused honey
Penny
But now, I'm starting to get it. I'm starting to realize the beauty in not only the things around me, but the beauty in my recovery and I'm so grateful everyday.
Stay focused honey
Penny
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