happy2balive

Hi there everyone,

Well I've had a couple of bums in the road this month.

Yesterday, I gave in to cold beer in the fridge that my husband brought back from his fishing trip on Saturday. Its bloody hot here right now...and looking at those beers just took me. I gave in to 4 heinkens

My sister is visiting for a couple of days, and when my husband noticed the beer gone...oh boy...what drama. I was more upset because he had to annouce out loud to everyone...even the kids..."did you drink my beer!". That just pissed me off. He didn't have to make a show out of it!!!!

But as I sat in my bedroom feeling like I've been a bad bad girl, I actually was pissed off at myself for giving in to my addiction.

This to will pass. I'm back on track today...and continue on my path of letting go.

Thanks for letting me share
Liz

tommyk

Good to see that you survived it, Liz.

I view every relapse as a potentially deadly situation, much much more serious than a simple 'bump in the road', because I've seen too many people die from the disease.

What are you going to do differently this time around to ensure success?

Keep coming back.

Tazman53

My experience was that the longer I drank the less my spouse cared about my feelings and the more she cared about what my alcoholism was doing to her and the kids.

Who knows, maybe your spouse will do like mine did, find a place to move to and take the kids , or maybe throw you out.

Is even a single beer worth that?

All you have to do is not drink today, then repeat the same thing tomorrow. One day at a time.

Alcoholism is a progressive disease, it progresses with every SINGLE drink we have, it never gets better or levels off, it always gets worse! The only way to stop the progression of the disease is TOTAL abstinance.

What are you doing besides simply not drinking to stay sober?

You know it is possible to recover from alcoholism! Recovery is far more then simply not drinking, recovery is work, whether it is working a known program of recovery or working your own recovery, it is far more then simply not drinking.

happy2balive

What are you going to do differently this time around to ensure success?


I need to reach out for more help, my docter, AA, therapist. I need more support. I love my husband...but can not depend on him, I see that now. I need to depend on me for my recovery.

Thank you for the support
Liz

happy2balive

What are you doing besides simply not drinking to stay sober?

I was coming to SR, and voicing to people, reading, burning myself out with work and the kids...and the wrong distractions.

I have a bbq to go to this weekend...and I don't want to go...I just don't need to be around this right now...ahhhhh!!! I don't want to be anti-social, but I don't want to be around anyone or go anywhere.
What is going on with me. I felt fine a week ago..and I feel back to day one again. These emotions are overwhelming...and trying to describe this to my family is a struggle.
Because they are "in-control", they don't understand why I do it. GOD PLEASE HELP THEM SEE!!!! GOD PLEASE GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO EXPRESS!!!!
I'm tired
Liz

traderjane

Hang in there, Liz. We're here to support you.

Laura

Anna

Hi,

My family didn't understand at all, either, nor did they want to support or help in any way. It's common for others to not get how hard this is.

If you don't want to go to the BBQ, don't go. This is a time when you need to follow your instincts and focus on yourself first. I couldn't be around alcohol for a long time when I stopped drinking, and I really didn't care if people thought I was anti-social for awhile. Learning to say 'No' was a huge part of my recovery.

happy2balive

Thank you for the support...I'm just scared right now..I'm trying to feel what I'm feeling, and I feel so sad inside. I don't want to feel like this anymore.
I just had aunt flow leave for the month...and I been putting it on that...but I think these feelings are more then just my monthly visit...I'm so physically tired these days...just want to sleep. My left eye keeps twiching...and it doesn't seem to be going away. I feel like I'm falling apart, and the demands around me are just taking a toll on me.

I know s%@t happens...but I need to learn to cope...need to learn to cope differnetly.

Liz

Tazman53

Liz it takes ACTIONS to recover, what you said above is the very ACTIONS I took. Keep in mind that there is NO CURE for alcoholism. I am an alcoholic and will always be an alcoholic, just like once one becomes a pickle they can not become a cucumber ever again. As a result of me being a pickle once I got beyond what my doctor could do for me which was getting me into medical detox, and the little bit of therapy I had, I used the program and fellowship of AA to maintain my sanity and sobriety long term know ing that I need to maintain my spiritual condition or the insanity of a drink being a good idea could very well return.

Liz you need to decide NOW, which is more important in the long term, your sobriety long term or short term people pleasing. If you do not want to go.... DO NOT GO!!!!