Enough21

It has been nearly 7 months since my last drink and I'm doing incredibly well in several areas of my life. However, I still cannot seem to shake much of the regret and shame. I know that a small dose of this might help keep me on the right path, but I still often find myself scanning stores before I walk in or avoiding places that I think I might run into people that "knew me when." I'm embarking on a new professional venture and I constantly worry about someone finding out that I abused alcohol and judging me for it, regardless of the how well I am doing now. Any advice?

NewDayNow

You will be judged for many reasons. I have only met one in all my years that was in my opinion truly evil. People are good to know and most of them are very understanding. Don't let your imagination get in front of you. Say hi, be humble, you'll not only be surprised you'll walk away being so glad you said hi.

Ed

adore79

I try to practice gratefulness and remember that it's not my business what others think of me. It isn't easy but it works for me. Good luck

NewDayNow

By the way, if you did something that rounded on there bad side, get very humble and take care of it on the spot.

They may extract their pound of flesh but you will no doubt walk away with a new friend

Wolfchild

Continue to be of loving service to your Home Group.
Continue to follow your sponsor's guidance thru the Steps.
Keep going to meetings and sharing about what you are
experiencing and help someone else stay clean & sober.

Hang on and let God's will for your life be revealed!

MycoolFitz

Addiction makes us paranoid, things are never as bad as we project. Is it better to be known as an active drunk or a recovering one? Which do you think is less shameful and more acceptable. In any case don't drift into the land of "what if..." Just stay here and now, you're sober and now is good.

“We overlay our direct experience of Reality with our ideas of what is real. And because our ability to do this is so subtle and so highly developed, we don’t even know we’re doing it. Thus we become chronically confused.”—Steve Hagen

Dee74

Hi Enough21

You've got seven months of sobriety - I think thas enough reason to hold your head up high. What ever you did in the past can't be undone, but you're doing the right thing now and thats all any of us can do.

It's time to start letting go and to forgive yourself

On a personal note, I was surprised how few people actually remembered some of the things I tore myself up over.

D

NewDayNow

Yup

and this comes from a tear yourself up expert

Be sober

Bamboozle

I have yet to meet a perfectly mentally healthy person in my life.

Everyone has some kind of problem...so don't worry about it. Usually the ones who would point out your "flaws" do so to cover their own.

NewDayNow

absolutely bam

They do work hard to cover their flaws and I have learned not to worry about it. I have learned to step out despite my flaws, my many flaws. It works for me socially, business wise and mentally

Like Dee said-- It's time to start letting go and to forgive yourself.

Think I should start blogging

Been hiding out too long bam

tommyk

Alcohol problems and incidents are VERY common in society.

You're no better or worse than anyone else... move ahead.

keithj

I'll go against the grain in telling you to leave the past behind. If you are able to not feel the guilt and shame of your past, then more power to you.

Personally, I was not able to leave behind the guilt and shame until I faced it. I had to fearlessly face what I had done and who I was. I had to right the past to the best of my ability.

I might be able to get on for quite some time by burying my head and ignoring the past. But somewhere deep inside me, I know I'm a fraud unless I've owned up and faced those things. By doing that, and setting things right where I could, I have freedom instead of relief.

Today, there is not a single place on earth I can not go. There is not a single person I hide from or fear bumping into. Just this weekend I ran into someone who really didn't want to see me. Instead of having to pretend I didn't see them, I said a polite hello and smiled sincerely. That's the kind of freedom I want in my life.

jamdls

I was pretty much scared of my own shadow the first 12-18 months of sobriety, I had so much shame. I spent most of my time outside of work alone, except I spent many many hours talking with another recovered A; I examined my life and although I could not change the past I knew I could be a better person and direct my own future. Gradually I forgave myself and others who had hurt me and built trust with those whom I had harmed. For the past 6-10 months I walk with my head high, my sobriety has given me confidence that I never dreamed was possible. I've only run into 1 former "drinking buddy" and I was fine, because I'm not the person I used to be, I'm much stronger/healthier/happier/smarter/etc, and he still was still the same.

NewDayNow

Thank you for your story Jam

Ed