fashion33

Yesterday I woke up with the worst hangover ever. I was vomitting until I went to sleep. If my boyfriend wasn't in the medical field, taking care of me, and telling me I would be alright, I know I would have gone to the emergency room. Though this was the worst hangover, it is by no means the first. Thinking back, I have spent countless days completely bedridden from a night of binge drinking. This wasn't the first time I had to call my boss and tell her I was too hungover to come to work. This wasn't the first time I wondered "do I have a problem with drinking?"
I never crave alcohol, and never hide my drinking, so I thought I must not have a problem. Often times, I even avoid drinking knowing what one drink can lead to. But many times, when I'm out with friends and everyone is drinking, I can't seem to get enough; I have no self control. And I end up so sick saying to myself "I will never do this again" only to do it again.
Yesterday, instead of asking myself "do I have a problem?" I finally admitted that I do. I asked a friend with a similiar problem what to do, and he recommended this site. I really don't know where to start. It doesn't seem like AA would be the place for me, but I would like to understand the 12 steps better. Please help!

Jomey

Hey Fashion - Glad you are here with us! Do you have a desire to stop drinking? If so, AA is definitely something you should check into! As for the 12 steps....they can't hurt you, and you can apply them to your entire life...you have nothing to lose by checking it out.

Do you have a specific question about the steps? Or just looking for general info?

Once again, welcome! Stick around -lots of good info & support here too.

Jomey

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

I'm glad you recognized that you have a drinking problem.

There are lots of methods of recovery, so take a look around and read and learn.

lauraandersen4

What I have learned from this forum is that you will get support as long as you are trying to help yourself. Everyone here is at a different 'level' of problem drinking (not necessarily just alcoholism). You will find many here with a seemingly far worse problem than yours and some people with far less of a problem. Since this seems to have such a variety of effects on different people, seems some problem drinkers have poor emotional states, but good physical states and others have poor physical states but decent emotional states. Bottom line is if it is a problem for YOU, it is a problem. I didn't get that at first either.

I have a similar problem to you re: not being able to stop... though I really don't experience physical hangovers no matter how much I manage to drink. Sometimes I avoid going out altogether because if I see others drinking, I will want to drink, but I too know where one will lead... social embarrassment and a large loss of $$$ that I don't have to spend. I fear going to parties where I have to drive for the same reason... or even small get togethers. Sometimes I think because of this, I have missed out on a lot of fun and probably getting to know a few good friends along the way.

Good luck to you.

keithj

Fashion33,

Compare what you wrote with what AA defines as alcoholism to decide if it's the place for you.


"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic."

And the next sentence in that paragraph, is AA's suggested solution.

"If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer."

The 12 steps as outlined in the Big Book are the precise directions to have that spiritual experience.

Quotes from AA Big Book, Ch4, 1st Ed

fashion33

Thanks everyone; I appreciate the support!
Lauren -your post is especially helpful since it seems our level of problem drinking is similar. Lucky for you, you don't get hangovers! For me, maybe it a good thing because otherwise I probably wouldn't admit to it being a problem even though, I too, have been embarrassed countless times, and have had times where I spent waaay too much money.
What were some of the very first steps you took to work on your drinking problem?

geothinkah

Only you can know for sure rather you are or you aren't. If you are, the program of recovery as outlined in the Bigbook and promoted by those in the fellowship of AA who have recovered may be an answer for you.

It worked for me! Good Luck and happy travels.

smacked

That is EXACTLY why most of us are here.. and exactly what most of us do every day.

As for your question, what were some of the first steps.. of course the obvious, was to quit drinking. It's good that your bf is in the medical field but don't be shy about talking to a doc, as you felt yesterday.. detoxing is a bi***, and sometimes there's medical reasons to make sure you're doing ok. Other than quitting drinking, personally I got into therapy.. one on one with an addictions psychologist. Very little of the therapy had to do with alcohol, but I sure had (and still have) a ton of work to do on myself.

Sobriety has been the best decision I have ever made in my life. That much I know.

jamdls

Hi Fashion, welcome to SR. I also had horrendous hangovers and spent most weekend days (and too many Mondays) in bed feeling awful; I did that off and on for 30 years. I mainly just drank on the weekends but in the last 10 years I drank 4-5 nights a week. My body was trying to tell me to stop as I think yours is. At least once I week I would tell myself that I need to stop drinking and at times I would cut down to just a glass or 2 of wine but generally when I drank it was more like 1-2 bottles. I didn't think AA was for either but I went to meetings for a couple of months and it helped tremendously! Not only did I learn about the steps but I also learned that I didn't want to wind up as far gone as many of the people in the meetings, I mean no disrepect for anyone in AA. Initially I did not relate to the people in AA because their condition seemed so much more severe than mine, (as it appears I'm more of a problem drinker than an alcoholic); but I gradually saw the similarities I had with them instead of just the differences. I stopped going to AA but continued reading and studying the literature and adapting it to my self and I've been sober nearly 2 years.

Philly

Welcome Fashion,

Like others have said, if you think you have a problem you probably do. The issue I see most people at your stage having is you do not see it after a few days sober as being as bad as it seems. I can tell you that it will probably get worse. I think the fact that you get sick is a good thing and should help you not drink. I, like Laura really didn't get sick and I thought that was a good thing. There is no reason for you to put that poison into your body. Your body is telling you that it can't handle it. Good luck and keep posting there really is alot of good advice here.

geothinkah

I guess I should have read all the posts, before I commented. I see that Keith already posted 'my' thoughts on this subject. Good job Keith!

NEOMARXIST

Yes, like someone said the problem in which you will have is forgetting everything that you have posted about why drinking is a problem. as the weeks role one you will begin to forget and think to yourself 'it weren't that bad' and that you were being overly-dramatic. Trust me on this, if you read some of my earlier posts I point blank said I couldn't put myself through it anymore and believed it, yet fast forward 3 weeks and I was back doing it all over again except it was even more savage than the last time and grinded my mental health down even lower.
I went from being the "Jack the Lad" type charcter (In a good way) after 37 days sober to the Down-trodden, dirty, junkie looking charcter within one binge.

Don't do it anymore, it will only get worse. I REALLY hope from the bottom of my heart that I don't do it again in the future, but I know how quicky those horrible memories fade. I am 5 days sober after my last binge.
good luck.

lauraandersen4

Fashion, what I have also learned here is that if you can't stop after you start... like both of us... that = craving. Knowing what will happen if you take the first drink and taking it anyway... that could also = craving. Craving is merely a strong desire to do something. I have that with alcohol... it isn't constant. It is rarely in the morning for me. It happens later in the day (afternoon). I don't feel I HAVE TO HAVE IT, but I want it... I want it bad sometimes. I just think about it a lot and am very tempted to have it. I think it was another mistake I made. I thought... I haven't craved anything in my life except maybe water after a 6 mile run.

Given that, I think that the only difference between your problem and mine is that I did start to drink alone and I did start to hide it... I was drinking about 6 glasses of wine/day and my husband didnt know because I'd wait until he slept or if I got home before him.

To answer your question... I haven't been perfect. It has been over 3 weeks now and I have had a drink on a few occasions but not every day... and that drink has led to more drinks etc... but the next day, I don't let myself drink... and the next day, I don't let myself drink then either. When I first stopped, I experienced pins and needles and a headache about 36-40 hours into stopping (which scared me) but after that was gone, I had more to drink. I went through it again, though a little milder. I had one other time after that that I drank... but 36-40 hours after, nothing happened. I don't think about it quite as often maybe as at the very beginning. You and I are on about the same point in quitting...on this forum. We can support one another.

From reading others here, who have suggested to me (and others)... the best advice is to tell yourself you are not going to drink today... and accept it... then tomorrow, move on with the same philosophy that you are not going to drink on that day... and accept it. Eventually, in theory, we should be able to say that we aren't going to drink... forever... and accept it!

Let's hope that the days are good to us... and that we can stop this and grow from it... no matter what stage of the 'problem' we are at. No one is more worthy because it has destroyed a relationship... no one is more worthy because they got a DUI, no one is more worthy because they drink all day every day... we are all worthy because we all know we can't stop when we start... and that IS a problem not everyone has

CarolD

I always said -"If my drinking interferrs with my job...I'll stop"
I got fired for missing work...I was at an AA meetings hours later.

I was shocked when I discovered
simply stopping was not going to work for me.

Do you have a boundry to how far down you want to go?

Welcome to SR....

bohemianzen

fashion welcome! part of your story sounds like me. i binge drink too. read read read here not only new posts but old. it helped me a lot when i first came (a short time ago) use the info to make some decisions about what you want to do. try an AA meeting - altho not for everyone, at least go to see what it's about. if there are things you don't understand or need help with - ask here. there are a lot of AA members here who are more than willing to help. also check out the chat meetings - they are usually AA oriented. don't feel backwards for reaching out -- it's a warm, giving place you've found here.

least

If you think you have a problem, you likely do, since 'normal' drinkers don't think about their drinking at all and have no reason to question it. Welcome to a great place for recovery!

Philly

Just would like to add what is a common definition of insanity- doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I think that is the perfect definition of what we seem to do with alcohol.

Quse56

I, too, was a binge drinker.

Oftentimes I would "forget" to stop after 3 or 6 or however many drinks I said I would stop at. It was the unpredictability that led me to seek help. If you can honestly say at the beginning of the night that you are not sure how many drinks you will have had by the end of the night, you may have lost control.

In the end when I wanted a different life, some people told me I wasn't an alcoholic or I didn't need AA - it was then that I decided that I was "alcoholic enough of me!"

AA works in ALL areas of your life. You will not regret this decision if you stick with it

Good luck and God bless!

Wolfchild

Welcome to the SR community.

i hope that you will become willing
to attend either AA or NA meetings.

misstep

I hope you'll find SR to be a supportive place!