feeling better
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Ann Arbor, MI
Posts: 8
feeling better
Well it has been a long month so far. If you have read my last post - Making Choices you will see the road I have been down lately.
I went to court last week, and then had to go again yesterday. I stuck to my guns the whole time. My bf was trying to get me to say something to the judge that would get him out of the trouble he was in. He basically wanted me to lie and say that I hit him first. I couldnt do it.
All of his life he has been taken care of. When ever he was in trouble he was able to get out of it (his parents were always there to rescue him). Not this time!
He was sentenced to 2 years probation, random drug and alcohol testing, 54 anger management classes, 90 days/90 mtgs. And of course it was all my fault! He tried telling me as I was leaving that I could have said something that would have taken this all away. I turned to him and told him that he was just upset because for once in his life no one could save him. That he put himself in this position and that before he starts pointing fingers at me he needed to take a good look at himself.
He then stated that I may have won this battle but I lost him. I turned and told him that I lost him a long time ago to the bottle and at least I hadnt lost my life. I rolled up my window and drove away. It was one of the hardest things I have had to do.
I loved him and cared so much about him. I realize he isnt drinking anymore but his actions havent changed.
I feel so much better now that I am away from him. In fact I have a date on monday with a very nice non-drinker!!!!
I went to court last week, and then had to go again yesterday. I stuck to my guns the whole time. My bf was trying to get me to say something to the judge that would get him out of the trouble he was in. He basically wanted me to lie and say that I hit him first. I couldnt do it.
All of his life he has been taken care of. When ever he was in trouble he was able to get out of it (his parents were always there to rescue him). Not this time!
He was sentenced to 2 years probation, random drug and alcohol testing, 54 anger management classes, 90 days/90 mtgs. And of course it was all my fault! He tried telling me as I was leaving that I could have said something that would have taken this all away. I turned to him and told him that he was just upset because for once in his life no one could save him. That he put himself in this position and that before he starts pointing fingers at me he needed to take a good look at himself.
He then stated that I may have won this battle but I lost him. I turned and told him that I lost him a long time ago to the bottle and at least I hadnt lost my life. I rolled up my window and drove away. It was one of the hardest things I have had to do.
I loved him and cared so much about him. I realize he isnt drinking anymore but his actions havent changed.
I feel so much better now that I am away from him. In fact I have a date on monday with a very nice non-drinker!!!!
Learning to love life...
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 529
soconfused,
Sounds like a very strong woman made a very healthy decision... good for you.
Days like that will always be a reminder of what got you to where you are today.
Big hugs to you... and keep working your program!
Meg
Sounds like a very strong woman made a very healthy decision... good for you.
Days like that will always be a reminder of what got you to where you are today.
Big hugs to you... and keep working your program!
Meg
Paused
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Westchester Cty, New York
Posts: 7
Congrats - you've come through a big one! Recognizing illness and leaving it are both big awarenesses. The 3 As - awareness, acceptance & action.
Jog a victory lap & take some time to feel your feelings. A date is always a good way to feel desirable & to be social. Please just be careful not to run too qiuckly into another relationship. Time is a valuable teacher & your HP may be showing you a few things at this time.
Have fun, be safe & make the meetings b/c meeting makers make it!
Best to you!
Jog a victory lap & take some time to feel your feelings. A date is always a good way to feel desirable & to be social. Please just be careful not to run too qiuckly into another relationship. Time is a valuable teacher & your HP may be showing you a few things at this time.
Have fun, be safe & make the meetings b/c meeting makers make it!
Best to you!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Baltimore,MD
Posts: 150
YOU GO GIRL!!!!!
Talk about stepping up to the plate and hitting a grand slam!
You really did him a lot of good. By allowing him to take responsibility for his actions, you may have set the wheels in motion for him start taking responsibility for himself.
You are a woman who knows who she is and what she wants and needs.
I am really sorry though because you obviously loved him and he let you down in a big way. I know how much that hurts.
****{hugs}}} for you...you deserve them.
Talk about stepping up to the plate and hitting a grand slam!
You really did him a lot of good. By allowing him to take responsibility for his actions, you may have set the wheels in motion for him start taking responsibility for himself.
You are a woman who knows who she is and what she wants and needs.
I am really sorry though because you obviously loved him and he let you down in a big way. I know how much that hurts.
****{hugs}}} for you...you deserve them.
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