I had a setback
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 93
I had a setback
So my AW stopped by the house yesterday to see me, and we ended up in bed. Then she left. I feel that I made a huge mistake. I have done so good at making boundaries, and keeping my distance up to this point. I feel like I let myself down. Anyone else here had / have setbacks?
learning to live for me
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: East Coast, US
Posts: 215
Just pick up where you left off and keep on keepin' on. I had those "type" :-o of setbacks until I moved 2hrs. away. Honestly that's the only thing that prevents them now. But I just remember that I always feel worse afterwards.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 93
It is strange, one of the emotions that has been very quiet through this mess was anger. But as the door closed and she left I got so angry with everything; myself for saying yes when I meant no, her for destroying everything we had, etc. I guess now would be the time to turn in the separation papers to the lawyers and get this thing moving faster.
Yes I had set backs like this with my addicted husband. As someone else said just pick up where you left off. It is so hard when it is a spouse. That bond is so hard to ignore and I always had hope that things would get better. They only got worse. It took him getting a girlfriend after being with me a little over a week earlier for me to wake up. He is now 2 1/2 hours away and there is a no contact order in place.
Don't be too hard on yourself. Be kind to yourself. This is hard even for the strongest person.
Don't be too hard on yourself. Be kind to yourself. This is hard even for the strongest person.
It's common.....whether it's an addict relationship or a "normal" relationship that's on the rocks or post-divorce.
Be upfront with her that it was a mistake (it was....you both need to be making choices based on present reality and future consequences) and re-set your boundaries.
Start again from today. It's a spiral upward, not a straight line up.
All best, eggdogg.
Be upfront with her that it was a mistake (it was....you both need to be making choices based on present reality and future consequences) and re-set your boundaries.
Start again from today. It's a spiral upward, not a straight line up.
All best, eggdogg.
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