Wrecked
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Wrecked
I had my medical to get driving license back, lost through drink driving, yesterday, blood test was horrendous, the worst experince I have ever had in my life, I am really blood test phobic, makes me think of smackheads etcetc,
Went out straight after after 37 days sober, hit the beers really hard, bought charlie as well I think though cant remember, woke up in my bed , can't remember how I got there, cracked my last tinny as soon as awaoke, I had already cracked one, dnt remeber,
Just been out to off-license and nailed Kestrel super stenght, had massive row with my parents, sister txting to mte to get home etcetc eetc ******* etc, I hate myself and this ****** world for making this suoperstrenght ****, I am pretty hammered at the moment and listing to 'The verve' I have been crying alot.
Went out straight after after 37 days sober, hit the beers really hard, bought charlie as well I think though cant remember, woke up in my bed , can't remember how I got there, cracked my last tinny as soon as awaoke, I had already cracked one, dnt remeber,
Just been out to off-license and nailed Kestrel super stenght, had massive row with my parents, sister txting to mte to get home etcetc eetc ******* etc, I hate myself and this ****** world for making this suoperstrenght ****, I am pretty hammered at the moment and listing to 'The verve' I have been crying alot.
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
Originally Posted by NEOMARXIST 
I had my medical to get driving license back, lost through drink driving, yesterday, blood test was horrendous, the worst experince I have ever had in my life.
37 days was a good start. I am going to suggest you find some help dealing with the tough days in life, because it gets harder my friend.
I hope you can turn last night into a positive life lesson and grow from it
Disposable Hero
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Being, ME
Posts: 3,758
"For those who are unable to drink modestly the question is how to stop altogether. We are assuming, of course, that the reader has a desire to stop. Whether such a person can quit upon a nonspiritual basis depends upon the extent to which he has already lost the power to choose whether he will drink or not. Many of us felt that we had plenty of character. There was a tremendous urge to cease forever. Yet we found it impossible. This is the baffling feature of alcoholism as we know it-this utter inability to leave it alone, no matter how great the necessity or wish."~Big Book, pg.34
"The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes pratically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliationm of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against that first drink." ~Big Book, pg. 24
i hope and pray that you will still be alive to read this and get to a meeting or a detox.
"The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes pratically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliationm of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against that first drink." ~Big Book, pg. 24
i hope and pray that you will still be alive to read this and get to a meeting or a detox.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: SE and then South some more
Posts: 2,648
NEO, good luck. As one other said, hopefully THIS will be your bottom. I really want to see nothing other than people succeed on here. It's a tough road and a lot of work but you CAN DO IT!!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: in France
Posts: 393
Hi Neo
How are you feeling now?
Your answer "This is England" reminded me of my excuse for drinking for ages.
"I'm english. It's in my blood"
When i was drinking i thought everyone else in england was drinking too but now i'm trying to give it up i see that lots of people even in pubs in England only drink coke.
Today went to supermarket and filled up my trolley with loads and loads of diet drinks which i'll stock the fridge with.(not just one or two- absolutely loads!!) I never knew so many existed and some are quite nice!
I really do like drinking so even if i'm not drinking alcohol I have to have something else instead in a glass that's cold and preferably a bit fizzy too. I can drink as much as i want and don't even get a headache-great!
I don't know if that can help you but i wanted to make sure you knew you're not alone.
If as other posters suggest you can get to a meeting that sounds like a good idea.
Otherwise please keep posting so we know you're ok.
How are you feeling now?
Your answer "This is England" reminded me of my excuse for drinking for ages.
"I'm english. It's in my blood"
When i was drinking i thought everyone else in england was drinking too but now i'm trying to give it up i see that lots of people even in pubs in England only drink coke.
Today went to supermarket and filled up my trolley with loads and loads of diet drinks which i'll stock the fridge with.(not just one or two- absolutely loads!!) I never knew so many existed and some are quite nice!
I really do like drinking so even if i'm not drinking alcohol I have to have something else instead in a glass that's cold and preferably a bit fizzy too. I can drink as much as i want and don't even get a headache-great!
I don't know if that can help you but i wanted to make sure you knew you're not alone.
If as other posters suggest you can get to a meeting that sounds like a good idea.
Otherwise please keep posting so we know you're ok.
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