need some support
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: warming up
Posts: 114
need some support
I have not been here for awhile and that was my choice... I guess.I did well for 3 weeks with not drinking, but now it all seems like it was before. go to work....go home... try to stay busy. Then it seems like no matter how busy I'am when hubby sits and drinks it is so easy to join in. I sometimes feel..why can't i be strong or do I want to be strong? Why can something have such control on a person.
This is the first weekend that we start going to the lake every weekend for the next 3 months. I want to just enjoy the lake with out being drunk!!!!when I think about drinking I find reasons why its ok to do it. I feel crappy all day, but when I get home its
like I recover fast.
what a life
This is the first weekend that we start going to the lake every weekend for the next 3 months. I want to just enjoy the lake with out being drunk!!!!when I think about drinking I find reasons why its ok to do it. I feel crappy all day, but when I get home its
like I recover fast.what a life
vicieux extraordinaire
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 205
Hello there. The board seems kinda quite so i just might as well drop in and say hello 
What a life, huh? Well, it is true what it is often said around here that you
just need to want sobriety over getting drunk. Simple as that.
And i also have someone in my family that, he is not drinking every day, but
when i get the chance to see him, is often at times when he really wants to
go out and have a good chunk of beers to spice up things. I cannot cut ties
as i enjoy his company very deeply, in fact i was worried as hell since he has
what i called a "captain syndrome": when he puts on his cap it means everybody
is going out sailing with him. I was too afraid to let him down by not drinking and
such. He will never understand how my mind works when it comes to alcohol.
i never got sloppy drunk with him but we cleared more than a few bars around here.
I just had to stand my ground and make it clear that i ainīt drinking... tonight.
Or at that particular moment. He at first took it well, did took a few shots at it,
but when he saw that i was so determined he simply gave up and accepted.
So far, we go out, he has his beers and i settled for the laughs and the soft drinks.
It might take some time and it might take some fight, but it can be done.
I am a very vicious f*ck and easily bended when it comes to going all out.
But now i just really want, more than anything else, to lead a quiet life and
the life that so far is working for me, which is this one.
Donīt go to crazy right now, it will make sense at some point, somehow.
Sending some midnight strength your way
What a life, huh? Well, it is true what it is often said around here that you
just need to want sobriety over getting drunk. Simple as that.
And i also have someone in my family that, he is not drinking every day, but
when i get the chance to see him, is often at times when he really wants to
go out and have a good chunk of beers to spice up things. I cannot cut ties
as i enjoy his company very deeply, in fact i was worried as hell since he has
what i called a "captain syndrome": when he puts on his cap it means everybody
is going out sailing with him. I was too afraid to let him down by not drinking and
such. He will never understand how my mind works when it comes to alcohol.
i never got sloppy drunk with him but we cleared more than a few bars around here.
I just had to stand my ground and make it clear that i ainīt drinking... tonight.
Or at that particular moment. He at first took it well, did took a few shots at it,
but when he saw that i was so determined he simply gave up and accepted.
So far, we go out, he has his beers and i settled for the laughs and the soft drinks.
It might take some time and it might take some fight, but it can be done.
I am a very vicious f*ck and easily bended when it comes to going all out.
But now i just really want, more than anything else, to lead a quiet life and
the life that so far is working for me, which is this one.
Donīt go to crazy right now, it will make sense at some point, somehow.
Sending some midnight strength your way
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Northern California
Posts: 124
I applaud the people who can hang out with others who are drinking and not drink themselves. I have been successful at it to a certain degree, but I don't like to push it. I went to a wedding recently that I felt I simply had to attend. I spoke to the groom, my good friend, before I went and told him I wouldn't be drinking. I didn't drink and it went well. But I'm finding more and more that I prefer to avoid situations where there is drinking. Right now in my sobriety (79) days, it just feels much safer to me. I feel better hanging out with others who don't drink. For so long I criticized myself for not being comfortable around people who were drinking. I berated myself for not being strong or independent enough to just do what I wanted and not be affected by others. This time it's different. My sobriety is what's most important and I let myself do whatever it takes to maintain it and keep it safe. Last weekend I avoided a picnic where I knew there would be drinking and felt very satisfied with the decision. I did not beat myself up one iota because I kept my sobriety and that's all that matters to me now.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,516
Hi,
That's not an easy situation.
But, it takes a lot of work to stay sober. If it was me, I would want to be away from the drinking. Why not go for a long walk on your own, or go out in a boat and paddle aroundd? You can do this!
That's not an easy situation.
But, it takes a lot of work to stay sober. If it was me, I would want to be away from the drinking. Why not go for a long walk on your own, or go out in a boat and paddle aroundd? You can do this!
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
In early sobriety being around others drinking is darn tough if not impossible for some, as others have said, one needs to decide what is thier number one priorority, staying sober or hanging around folks that are drinking.
Fighttowin what are you doing to stay sober? Just not drinking?
Every time I tried to stay stopped drinking by just not drinking I always wound up drinking again. What I have found is in order to stay stopped I had to change, you see I thought like a drunk and I was a drunk, my solution to life was drinking! Just stopping drinking left me a sober drunk, I had no solution, as a result I was irratable, anxious, and discontent sober, drinking was the only solution because I was a drunk!
In order to stay sober I had to change, I had to change from a drunk to a recovering alcoholic. I had to find a different solution for life other then drinking. I had to change the way I thought about myself, I had to change how I thought about the world and other people. I had to change in order to be able to even see there was another solution to life then drinking.
The above is the reason there are recovery programs out there, recovery programs give a drunk a method to change into a recovering alcoholic. I used the 12 steps of AA and the fellowship of AA to bring about the change in me that allowed me to find another solution to life that allowed me to be happy and comfortable in my own skin, this has allowed me to not even think about a drink as being a solution, even a temporary solution to my problems.
Fighttowin what are you doing to stay sober? Just not drinking?
Every time I tried to stay stopped drinking by just not drinking I always wound up drinking again. What I have found is in order to stay stopped I had to change, you see I thought like a drunk and I was a drunk, my solution to life was drinking! Just stopping drinking left me a sober drunk, I had no solution, as a result I was irratable, anxious, and discontent sober, drinking was the only solution because I was a drunk!
In order to stay sober I had to change, I had to change from a drunk to a recovering alcoholic. I had to find a different solution for life other then drinking. I had to change the way I thought about myself, I had to change how I thought about the world and other people. I had to change in order to be able to even see there was another solution to life then drinking.
The above is the reason there are recovery programs out there, recovery programs give a drunk a method to change into a recovering alcoholic. I used the 12 steps of AA and the fellowship of AA to bring about the change in me that allowed me to find another solution to life that allowed me to be happy and comfortable in my own skin, this has allowed me to not even think about a drink as being a solution, even a temporary solution to my problems.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: edmonton, alberta
Posts: 88
Hi there,
I, too, can relate to this Fighttowin! This aspect is proving to be the most challenging to me right now. Prior to quitting drinking, I had created quite a persona around our subdivision as the "margarita lady". I was famous for my stiff frozen concoctions that me and a couple of neighbors would enjoy on my deck, in the hot tub, at bbq's, actually pretty much anywhere! Now that I am not drinking, there are "friends" that really don't support me in this. I think they feel this is just a stage for me and that I'll be back in the saddle before long. I really don't think these friendships are going to last as they were really only based on drinking. My hubby is really supportive of me but he still enjoys a beer every now and then. I couldn't help but feel a tad envious when I came home from the movies last weekend to see him enjoying a rye and coke. Drinking together was a big part of our life and I am finding this really hard to overcome. My husband knows when to call it quits though and I don't. I've got 25 years of thinking that drinking = fun. It is almost like I have to train my brain to think differently.
This site is a wonderful place for support as is my AA group. I don't feel so alone in my new path with the support of like-minded people.
Keep coming back!
I, too, can relate to this Fighttowin! This aspect is proving to be the most challenging to me right now. Prior to quitting drinking, I had created quite a persona around our subdivision as the "margarita lady". I was famous for my stiff frozen concoctions that me and a couple of neighbors would enjoy on my deck, in the hot tub, at bbq's, actually pretty much anywhere! Now that I am not drinking, there are "friends" that really don't support me in this. I think they feel this is just a stage for me and that I'll be back in the saddle before long. I really don't think these friendships are going to last as they were really only based on drinking. My hubby is really supportive of me but he still enjoys a beer every now and then. I couldn't help but feel a tad envious when I came home from the movies last weekend to see him enjoying a rye and coke. Drinking together was a big part of our life and I am finding this really hard to overcome. My husband knows when to call it quits though and I don't. I've got 25 years of thinking that drinking = fun. It is almost like I have to train my brain to think differently.
This site is a wonderful place for support as is my AA group. I don't feel so alone in my new path with the support of like-minded people.
Keep coming back!
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