louis

Went for my cbt session today...

It was not as bad as i thought... we discussed certain coping mechanisms that i have and have agreed some i wont be able/willing to change... but if they become a problem for me we can re-look at them... this took a real weight off my mind.

Some bits were hard talking about... i went to an AA meeting after... i probably shouldn't have gone though... my heart or head wasn't in it... maybe i was just plain worn out.... i know i am tonight.

I dont know why... i picked up a can of beer from the shop on the way home... just the one can... it's sat in my fridge... i havent even got it in me to throw it away... its just sat there... really dont know what thats about.... well i guess all that counts is i havent drank it.

I just wanted to let those who were interested know how i got on anyhow... I really am pretty drained tonight so think i am gonna scoot off to bed.

I hope you are all well and thankyou for reading this and your help the other night when i was in a little bit of a state.

Be well all
louis

Ananda

louis..it would be best if you disposed of the beer right now. having it hanging around will just make it easier to say fck it at some point.

sounds like you are tired and frustrated.....not a good state to be in with alchohol in the house.

Please dump it

Believe808

Why would you be hanging on to that can of beer unless you were thinking of drinking it?

Anna

Louis,

I'm glad your meeting went well and I bet that it was tiring for you and that's likely why you're feeling so worn out now. It's great that you are working on your recovery.

Get rid of the beer - it can't do you any good.

least

Ditto, dump it now. It can only mean trouble.

michelle01

Well done Louis and thanks for this update, but you don't need that beer.

Mark75

Hi Louis

Thanx for the check in! I remember when I got back from rehab... I had to set up OP therapy, get myself to a special group meeting, and some other stuff. I was drained, exhausted and demoralized. It gets better. Things that seem scary now will not as you get used to it... you might even look forward to the sessions!!

Get rid of the beer, dude.

Hope your well.

Mark

serenityqueen

I'm glad your appt wasn't as bad as you thought it would be. I know there are times when I get myself worked up about an upcoming event and then afterwards, I sit and wonder why in the world I got myself in such a state over it.

Quote:

... i went to an AA meeting after... i probably shouldn't have gone though... my heart or head wasn't in it... maybe i was just plain worn out.... i know i am tonight.

What I found interesting here is that you went anyway, regardless of how tired you were. To me, this shows that you are feeling even more comfortable at Meetings and your Recovery is becoming a natural part of your life, just like drinking was.

Quote:

dont know why... i picked up a can of beer from the shop on the way home... just the one can... it's sat in my fridge... i havent even got it in me to throw it away... its just sat there... really dont know what thats about.... well i guess all that counts is i havent drank it.

I feel that the reason you went and bought the can of beer is because right now, that is also still a normal reaction. . . when we face a situation that isn't very comfortable, it's a natural instinct to want to drink or use. Yes, it's great that you didn't drink it, but you need to pour that sucker out! After all, one is too many and a thousand is never enough.

I'm proud of you for the way you have been opening up and sharing with us. I know in the emails we've sent back and forth, this is/was a very difficult thing for you to do. That my friend is growth.

Keep things simple and just get through today. . . tomorrow isn't here yet and yesterday is gone.

Hugs,
Judy

louis

Thankyou all....

I told my flatmate to drink the beer... if he dont tonight i will bin it.

Thanks for all that you said.... I will deal with what i can... and when i can... some sh*te i would really love to bury and never deal with... but if i am ever to live a sober life i have to at least attempt to resolve it... or at least get it out....

As Judy says... i really struggle with getting to grips with openin up... i block so much through drinking... now i dont have that... but i do feel stronger today... maybe its just knowing i wont be pushed or more accepting i wont push myself beyond my limits... its also knowing maybe its ok to feel what i feel and not be ashamed...

I dont know what it is... but if it works... i'll keep a hold of it.

Again thankyou for all you guys said and for those that helped the other night.

Be well
louis