The Ultimate Con
Recovering Nicely
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 935
The Ultimate Con
Hi All,
Just wanted to share something that someone may benefit from one day. Most of you know my story w/AH and for those that don't you can look up my previous posts for a fill in if you chose.
For the past four months I again placed faith and trust in AH, he "seemed" to be really working a program and getting his life together. We got along great and became very close again. We even took classes together, he made me my lunch every day, it was really wonderful.
Anyway, today was AH's court date, you know, the one from when he threatened me w/a gun back in July of 2008. He was early at court, brought his "certificate of completion" from his outpatient alcohol treatment center (completed 2 weeks ago), and the director from that program knew my husband was attending school to be an alcohol & substance abuse counselor, so she was thrilled to put that in the report to the judge, in fact, I met with her once a week for counseling, and I even supported that decision. The judge was thrilled that he had accomplished this all, and it was dropped down to a violation, he paid the fine, all is good.
He calls me to tell me it's finally over, he is thrilled. I told him how "proud" I was of him, that I didn't think he had it in him, but he orchestrated the perfect con game! School, AA and outpatient, he did everything right in order to get this thing dropped so he could resume his drinking career (he has been on a severe alcoholic binge, drinking 24/7 for the past two weeks now). For the past two weeks he keeps leaving the house "going to meetings" cause he knows he can't drink at the house. I finally told him last night to drink till his hearts content, just leave me out of all this "recovery" talk.
I have an appt. w/the Coalition for Domestic Violence on May 21st for intake there, they have counseling and free legal services available. Maybe I'll be able to get my divorce after all. And if not, oh well, I placed this whole thing in God's hands two weeks ago, I know He'll take care of me and will do for me what I can't do for myself. For all I know, AH may just sink his own ship this time, you know, that false sense of security LOL, although he's managed to never suffer a consequence of his actions. Never a DWI, nothing!
I just wanted to tell you all, life is still really, really good at the moment.
And for the newbies here, NEVER, EVER trust an alcoholic.
HUGS QT
Just wanted to share something that someone may benefit from one day. Most of you know my story w/AH and for those that don't you can look up my previous posts for a fill in if you chose.
For the past four months I again placed faith and trust in AH, he "seemed" to be really working a program and getting his life together. We got along great and became very close again. We even took classes together, he made me my lunch every day, it was really wonderful.
Anyway, today was AH's court date, you know, the one from when he threatened me w/a gun back in July of 2008. He was early at court, brought his "certificate of completion" from his outpatient alcohol treatment center (completed 2 weeks ago), and the director from that program knew my husband was attending school to be an alcohol & substance abuse counselor, so she was thrilled to put that in the report to the judge, in fact, I met with her once a week for counseling, and I even supported that decision. The judge was thrilled that he had accomplished this all, and it was dropped down to a violation, he paid the fine, all is good.
He calls me to tell me it's finally over, he is thrilled. I told him how "proud" I was of him, that I didn't think he had it in him, but he orchestrated the perfect con game! School, AA and outpatient, he did everything right in order to get this thing dropped so he could resume his drinking career (he has been on a severe alcoholic binge, drinking 24/7 for the past two weeks now). For the past two weeks he keeps leaving the house "going to meetings" cause he knows he can't drink at the house. I finally told him last night to drink till his hearts content, just leave me out of all this "recovery" talk.
I have an appt. w/the Coalition for Domestic Violence on May 21st for intake there, they have counseling and free legal services available. Maybe I'll be able to get my divorce after all. And if not, oh well, I placed this whole thing in God's hands two weeks ago, I know He'll take care of me and will do for me what I can't do for myself. For all I know, AH may just sink his own ship this time, you know, that false sense of security LOL, although he's managed to never suffer a consequence of his actions. Never a DWI, nothing!
I just wanted to tell you all, life is still really, really good at the moment.
And for the newbies here, NEVER, EVER trust an alcoholic.
HUGS QT
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 530
Wow. I am sorry he did all of this and went through all of the motions just to get by the system. He didn't use it to better himself at all.
This is a case in point of what I am afraid of with my exah. He is going to all of his dui classes, doing his community service, paying his fines, no license etc. But he is still a closet drinker. Everyone thinks he is doing so well on the surface. Drives me crazy! He will go back to court to get unsupervised time with baby and put on the same show your ah did...look at me! I am doing great! NOT>
Good job for making him take responsibility!
This is a case in point of what I am afraid of with my exah. He is going to all of his dui classes, doing his community service, paying his fines, no license etc. But he is still a closet drinker. Everyone thinks he is doing so well on the surface. Drives me crazy! He will go back to court to get unsupervised time with baby and put on the same show your ah did...look at me! I am doing great! NOT>
Good job for making him take responsibility!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: back from the brink
Posts: 457
If you do decide to divorce, make sure to document all of this he has done. Don't make the assumption that the divorce judge will take time to review his record. Prove it. It will help you LOTS!
Best of luck to you on your new path!
Best of luck to you on your new path!
To thine own self be true
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: New York
Posts: 756
Originally Posted by queenteree 
Hi All,
Just wanted to share something that someone may benefit from one day. Most of you know my story w/AH and for those that don't you can look up my previous posts for a fill in if you chose.
For the past four months I again placed faith and trust in AH, he "seemed" to be really working a program and getting his life together. We got along great and became very close again. We even took classes together, he made me my lunch every day, it was really wonderful.
Anyway, today was AH's court date, you know, the one from when he threatened me w/a gun back in July of 2008. He was early at court, brought his "certificate of completion" from his outpatient alcohol treatment center (completed 2 weeks ago), and the director from that program knew my husband was attending school to be an alcohol & substance abuse counselor, so she was thrilled to put that in the report to the judge, in fact, I met with her once a week for counseling, and I even supported that decision. The judge was thrilled that he had accomplished this all, and it was dropped down to a violation, he paid the fine, all is good.
He calls me to tell me it's finally over, he is thrilled. I told him how "proud" I was of him, that I didn't think he had it in him, but he orchestrated the perfect con game! School, AA and outpatient, he did everything right in order to get this thing dropped so he could resume his drinking career (he has been on a severe alcoholic binge, drinking 24/7 for the past two weeks now). For the past two weeks he keeps leaving the house "going to meetings" cause he knows he can't drink at the house. I finally told him last night to drink till his hearts content, just leave me out of all this "recovery" talk.
I have an appt. w/the Coalition for Domestic Violence on May 21st for intake there, they have counseling and free legal services available. Maybe I'll be able to get my divorce after all. And if not, oh well, I placed this whole thing in God's hands two weeks ago, I know He'll take care of me and will do for me what I can't do for myself. For all I know, AH may just sink his own ship this time, you know, that false sense of security LOL, although he's managed to never suffer a consequence of his actions. Never a DWI, nothing!
I just wanted to tell you all, life is still really, really good at the moment.
And for the newbies here, NEVER, EVER trust an alcoholic.
HUGS QT
Just wanted to share something that someone may benefit from one day. Most of you know my story w/AH and for those that don't you can look up my previous posts for a fill in if you chose.
For the past four months I again placed faith and trust in AH, he "seemed" to be really working a program and getting his life together. We got along great and became very close again. We even took classes together, he made me my lunch every day, it was really wonderful.
Anyway, today was AH's court date, you know, the one from when he threatened me w/a gun back in July of 2008. He was early at court, brought his "certificate of completion" from his outpatient alcohol treatment center (completed 2 weeks ago), and the director from that program knew my husband was attending school to be an alcohol & substance abuse counselor, so she was thrilled to put that in the report to the judge, in fact, I met with her once a week for counseling, and I even supported that decision. The judge was thrilled that he had accomplished this all, and it was dropped down to a violation, he paid the fine, all is good.
He calls me to tell me it's finally over, he is thrilled. I told him how "proud" I was of him, that I didn't think he had it in him, but he orchestrated the perfect con game! School, AA and outpatient, he did everything right in order to get this thing dropped so he could resume his drinking career (he has been on a severe alcoholic binge, drinking 24/7 for the past two weeks now). For the past two weeks he keeps leaving the house "going to meetings" cause he knows he can't drink at the house. I finally told him last night to drink till his hearts content, just leave me out of all this "recovery" talk.
I have an appt. w/the Coalition for Domestic Violence on May 21st for intake there, they have counseling and free legal services available. Maybe I'll be able to get my divorce after all. And if not, oh well, I placed this whole thing in God's hands two weeks ago, I know He'll take care of me and will do for me what I can't do for myself. For all I know, AH may just sink his own ship this time, you know, that false sense of security LOL, although he's managed to never suffer a consequence of his actions. Never a DWI, nothing!
I just wanted to tell you all, life is still really, really good at the moment.
And for the newbies here, NEVER, EVER trust an alcoholic.
HUGS QT
Recovering Nicely
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 935
I am going tonite after work to Radio Shack to buy one of those voice activated recorders. I am going to leave it in the living room, so when he is drunk and should he start w/me, I will have it recorded. I still have an order of protection, good thru May 2011, but the police in our area tend to not do a damn thing. Play the tape for the judge, that's my proof. Proactive, not reactive, right?
But in the meantime, he can drink all he wants, he can say all he wants, I can only control how I react to it. I gotta keep my side of the street clean, that's all I need to worry about. I've always said he was a "difficult" drunk, but who made it "difficult"? I did. Doesn't have to be that way.
I will know more on May 21st, and it's gonna be a long road, but it's all ok, I got faith in God and it's a nice thing to hand it over to Him for His "to do" list. And I'm even thankful that AH did this, makes me know never to trust an alcoholic, and by posting helps others. So, see, it happened for a reason.
But in the meantime, he can drink all he wants, he can say all he wants, I can only control how I react to it. I gotta keep my side of the street clean, that's all I need to worry about. I've always said he was a "difficult" drunk, but who made it "difficult"? I did. Doesn't have to be that way.
I will know more on May 21st, and it's gonna be a long road, but it's all ok, I got faith in God and it's a nice thing to hand it over to Him for His "to do" list. And I'm even thankful that AH did this, makes me know never to trust an alcoholic, and by posting helps others. So, see, it happened for a reason.
Recovering Nicely
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 935
Originally Posted by Sweets79
Just my 2 cents, but it sounds like he also might have sociopathic tendencies...When you "con" anyone, that is one of the main traits...I'm in no way saying this to be insulting or judgemental...but I've had my share of being involved with a few people like this...that's some scam he pulled...most people wouldn't be able to pull it off.
To thine own self be true
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: New York
Posts: 756
Originally Posted by queenteree
I am going tonite after work to Radio Shack to buy one of those voice activated recorders. I am going to leave it in the living room, so when he is drunk and should he start w/me, I will have it recorded. I still have an order of protection, good thru May 2011, but the police in our area tend to not do a damn thing. Play the tape for the judge, that's my proof. Proactive, not reactive, right?
But in the meantime, he can drink all he wants, he can say all he wants, I can only control how I react to it. I gotta keep my side of the street clean, that's all I need to worry about. I've always said he was a "difficult" drunk, but who made it "difficult"? I did. Doesn't have to be that way.
I will know more on May 21st, and it's gonna be a long road, but it's all ok, I got faith in God and it's a nice thing to hand it over to Him for His "to do" list. And I'm even thankful that AH did this, makes me know never to trust an alcoholic, and by posting helps others. So, see, it happened for a reason.
But in the meantime, he can drink all he wants, he can say all he wants, I can only control how I react to it. I gotta keep my side of the street clean, that's all I need to worry about. I've always said he was a "difficult" drunk, but who made it "difficult"? I did. Doesn't have to be that way.
I will know more on May 21st, and it's gonna be a long road, but it's all ok, I got faith in God and it's a nice thing to hand it over to Him for His "to do" list. And I'm even thankful that AH did this, makes me know never to trust an alcoholic, and by posting helps others. So, see, it happened for a reason.
You sound like a really strong person...I wish my mother had it in her to leave my father...he is an emotionally abusive alcoholic...he still is active but he's getting old now, so he doesn't scream and abuse everyone like he used too...Still wish she would've left him though, but what's done is done. Good luck to you
Recovering Nicely
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 935
Originally Posted by anvilhead
are you two still LIVING together? is it maybe time to DO something about that? before something worse than him THREATENING you with a gun? i don't see how an order of protection can HELP you if you share living quarters with him and he's drunk off his @ss all the time QT!!!! i'm scared to death that you are still taking his potential for violence way to benignly. this is someone you should get as far away from as humanly possible!!!!!!
PS The gun was seized, his gun license revoked.
Recovering Nicely
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 935
Originally Posted by anvilhead
ok, so if you leaving won't HELP, how is HIM leaving going to help? the point i was trying to make is that this may be a life CHANGING event for you.......you may need to DO more than wait, this time. been there done that got the tshirt AND the restraining order right? cuz if what you say holds true, and he does leave, he still knows where you work, and where you live and all that. you have a (caps ON) VERY DANGEROUS CONNIVING MANIPULATIVE INEBRIATED jerk on your hands who has demonstrated that he is capable of twisting and bending you to his will, working the system, and displaying a disturbingly devious dark side. 2 YEARS ago he held a gun at you........2 YEARS LATER you share a house with him still????
i get relentless on two things......one staying in a relationship with an active addict when children are involved AND staying in ANY relationship where ABUSE and VIOLENCE are involved. my message is the same in both - GET OUT. NOW. things can always get worse, in fact they always do when addiction is involved.
i get relentless on two things......one staying in a relationship with an active addict when children are involved AND staying in ANY relationship where ABUSE and VIOLENCE are involved. my message is the same in both - GET OUT. NOW. things can always get worse, in fact they always do when addiction is involved.
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