I can see clearly
Drug Addiction Has No Mercy
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Milwaukie Oregon
Posts: 875
I can see clearly
(I visit another forum from time to time and I have shared on that forum the chain of events that have taken place with "R" ...
Someone responded to my thread with the following - I felt led to bring it here to my SR family I don't know why but I get the feeling that there is someone here that needed to read this.)
My response is as follows............
I hear you loud and clear. I see the patterns of choices in my life and I know what is there. I can look way back to Scotty (even further back then that) and I know history is repeating itself in my life. However, I also see growth and a willingness to change ... When Scotty and I split up and I found out that he had interest in a certain female. The pain consumed me .. and I ran... I kicked, yelled and screamed at God .. and I asked "where's my drugs, where's my pain killer, Lord. I am sitting here feeling this naked and raw and it hurts. I can't do it. I have fallen on my butt in the dirt and I am going to stay down here and pour water over it and make mud out of it (the dirt, not my butt ) It hurts to much to walk with you and I ran for 12 years.
Today my attitude is different ..
Today I say .. Lord, this hurts bad, but here is my heart, Lord .. I give it to you... carry it through this to the other side.
-
I will not run.. but rather I will walk gracefully through the fire for I know you are with me - I trust you, Lord ... I trust you.
I am in the refiner's fire ... and it is here in the hottest heat that my dross is being stripped away.
Today I am ready.
Passion
Someone responded to my thread with the following - I felt led to bring it here to my SR family I don't know why but I get the feeling that there is someone here that needed to read this.)
Passion, maybe it's time to look within...patterns are showing once again, patterns that your life takes on...for today make things comfy, lay back and let your mind wander where it will or watch a damned good comedy.
It's easy to give advice, it's even easy to be right, but sometimes we gotta follow the advice we give that that's the hard part.
It's easy to give advice, it's even easy to be right, but sometimes we gotta follow the advice we give that that's the hard part.
I hear you loud and clear. I see the patterns of choices in my life and I know what is there. I can look way back to Scotty (even further back then that) and I know history is repeating itself in my life. However, I also see growth and a willingness to change ... When Scotty and I split up and I found out that he had interest in a certain female. The pain consumed me .. and I ran... I kicked, yelled and screamed at God .. and I asked "where's my drugs, where's my pain killer, Lord. I am sitting here feeling this naked and raw and it hurts. I can't do it. I have fallen on my butt in the dirt and I am going to stay down here and pour water over it and make mud out of it (the dirt, not my butt ) It hurts to much to walk with you and I ran for 12 years.
Today my attitude is different ..
Today I say .. Lord, this hurts bad, but here is my heart, Lord .. I give it to you... carry it through this to the other side.
-
I will not run.. but rather I will walk gracefully through the fire for I know you are with me - I trust you, Lord ... I trust you.
I am in the refiner's fire ... and it is here in the hottest heat that my dross is being stripped away.
Today I am ready.
Passion
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Today I say .. Lord, this hurts bad, but here is my heart, Lord .. I give it to you... carry it through this to the other side.
-
I will not run.. but rather I will walk gracefully through the fire for I know you are with me - I trust you, Lord ... I trust you.
-
I will not run.. but rather I will walk gracefully through the fire for I know you are with me - I trust you, Lord ... I trust you.
That's beautiful Passion. I know right now is a tender time for you, so just keep trusting and take time just for you.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,906
Wow - very powerful passion. Thank you for this. I'm learning how hard it is to trust your HP. It's easy to say it, want it and mean it, but to actually do it. To actually TRUST that He is leading you in the right direction - it's hard to let go of that control. I'm just learning what this REALLY means myself.
Maybe God was giving you the push that you needed to break free.
Maybe God was giving you the push that you needed to break free.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Between the ocean and the mountains
Posts: 653
I love your post here, nyte.
We cannot be of help to our fellow man who suffers if we ourselves have not faced suffering, experienced it as it boils us to our core, and then experience the rebirth afterward.
We cannot give away what we ourselves do not have.
It is your pain and your resurrection which will make you a true child of your Lord, capable of doing spiritual work on this earth because you did not take the easy way out, you did not run, you were challenged to have faith and endure and learn what God intends you to know in this life. You surrender to "life on life's terms" with utter faith God will carry you through.
This is the essence of a 12 step life. And recovery.
Those who run.....just keep running. And never know the joy of a rebirth out of the ashes.
Blessings today, nyte.
We cannot be of help to our fellow man who suffers if we ourselves have not faced suffering, experienced it as it boils us to our core, and then experience the rebirth afterward.
We cannot give away what we ourselves do not have.
It is your pain and your resurrection which will make you a true child of your Lord, capable of doing spiritual work on this earth because you did not take the easy way out, you did not run, you were challenged to have faith and endure and learn what God intends you to know in this life. You surrender to "life on life's terms" with utter faith God will carry you through.
This is the essence of a 12 step life. And recovery.
Those who run.....just keep running. And never know the joy of a rebirth out of the ashes.
Blessings today, nyte.
Guest
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 2,968
I wish you the best on your new journey, when I read your post
it reminded me of this old song..
Johnny Nash - I Can See Clearly Now Lyrics
I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.
I think I can make it now, the pain is gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared
Here is the rainbow I’ve been prayin?for
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.
Look all around, there’s nothin?but blue skies
Look straight ahead, nothin?but blue skies
I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.
it reminded me of this old song..
Johnny Nash - I Can See Clearly Now Lyrics
I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.
I think I can make it now, the pain is gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared
Here is the rainbow I’ve been prayin?for
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.
Look all around, there’s nothin?but blue skies
Look straight ahead, nothin?but blue skies
I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.
Last edited by lauren; 05-01-2009 at 10:01 AM. Reason: error on line
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Wilmington, NC
Posts: 932
I hate to see you in pain but you are right - you have to walk through the fires and know that your Lord is with you...and He is sweetie.
You will get through this. You have the tools and you have great faith. You have the strongest person in your corner and He will not let you fall back into that mud pit. He's pulling you out and he will keep you out. Keep believing my friend. Keep praying and keep posting. It's so good to see you back and active again. You know what SR can do for you and you know that this is just another chapter in your story. There will be a happy ending and there is peace. I'm so sorry it hurts. I'm so sorry you're hurting. Take the kids to Chucky Cheese this weekend. You had so much fun last time!!
Love you, Janet :praying (for you)
You will get through this. You have the tools and you have great faith. You have the strongest person in your corner and He will not let you fall back into that mud pit. He's pulling you out and he will keep you out. Keep believing my friend. Keep praying and keep posting. It's so good to see you back and active again. You know what SR can do for you and you know that this is just another chapter in your story. There will be a happy ending and there is peace. I'm so sorry it hurts. I'm so sorry you're hurting. Take the kids to Chucky Cheese this weekend. You had so much fun last time!!
Love you, Janet :praying (for you)
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
I will not run.. but rather I will walk gracefully through the fire for I know you are with me - I trust you, Lord ... I trust you.
I am in the refiner's fire ... and it is here in the hottest heat that my dross is being stripped away.
Today I am ready.
I am in the refiner's fire ... and it is here in the hottest heat that my dross is being stripped away.
Today I am ready.
I too feel that I am on fire and the dross is being burned away. The Lord is with us we are His girls. Let us affirm that we are able to understand and apply learning from our mistakes. I have heard it said making mistakes is the best way to learn. So our mistakes are not so much mistakes they are lessons and they are gifts.:day6(((((((((((((BIGHUG))))))))))))) to you my friend.
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