cessy68

First I wanted to thank everyone who responded to me today, (from last nights post), It is helpful - beyond words.

I'm sorry that I couldn't get on here and read and thankyou all sooner.

My St.Bernard (Shane) exited my life today. I'm devestated. I know that not everyone is animal lovers, but for those who are, could you say an extra prayer for me tonight?

Shane was purchased by me, from a breeded a year and 1/2 ago. I loved him immensely. Unfortunately, Shane has some kind of disorder, (that multiple vets, trainers etc.) could not fix, or even diagnose. Shane over the past year, has crashed through my windows a total of 8 times. There was never any sequence or pattern. (for instance one night while sleeping, I hear glass shatter everywhere. Shane was inside, and flipped out and went through my french doors.)

On multiple occassions, he would crash through windows, trying to get inside as well- sometimes when I was home, sometimes when I was at work.)

The DR. said we can't tranquilize him constantly- because it's something that we can't predict (no percipitating factors.)(he also had a history of seizures) and was diagnosed with lyme disease upon his first exam - when I bought him.

Ultimatly shane had been stitched multiple times, and was destructing my home.

Otherwise he was loving, sweet, kind. He wouldn't hurt a flee.

I put so much time and love into him. Finally after a two window incident this weekend (again) I called the Dr. and animal control. The doctor suggested to euthinise (sp) him, because he can't be placed like this.

The animal control officer called my breeder (who previously told me she wouldn't take him back.) (she has a big farm- and breeds regularly). Once the animal control officer talked to her and explained how out of control he was, she agreed to take him back.

I dropped my sweetie at the farm today. I cried and cried. I'm still crying. I feel so guilty, that I could have done more. I know in my heart I couldn't have. I know he is safe, I know that she is equipped to handle him. But I can't get past a vision of him in a kennel.... (he was always in a large fenced yard here, or inside the comforts of my home, with my other dog, cat, me and the kids.)
I feel like he thinks mommy just left him behind, and I'm devestated.

So sorry that this is way off topic, I just feel like I lost a child.
I hope there are some dog lovers out there to pray for him, and me.
Thankyou again for last nights responses
Crying my eyes out.
cess

Freedom1990

Cess, I am so incredibly sorry. My dogs are my second set of kids.

I'll definitely be praying for Shane and you both. :ghug :ghug

rose

I am so sorry, how devasting for you. I love my animals and it is heartbreaking to loose them. They are like just one of the family.

Rose

bluejay6

Oh Cessy,
I wanted to cry with you, when I read your post.

I am so sorry. I have lost beloved dogs, too, from my life.

I am so sorry. I hope he is running the fields like the wind, and that your heart heals again.

Love, Bluejay

cece1960

(((Cessy)))
Giving the dog away was an act of love.
I admire you for taking action and making life better for BOTH you and your pup.

Wishing you happier days ahead
(((Hugs)))

BayAreaPhoenix

Oh Cessy. I am a doggy-Mom, what a hard thing to do. Now he will hopefully be with friends, where he can be outside and someplace where he won't keep hurting himself. I am sending him lots of prayers that he is happy and that they can find a way to help him. Sending prayers to you for peace in your decision, which was obviously not easy for you to do.

(((hugs)))

cessy68

it was completely horrid.... to say the least. I am going to keep praying for peace. I just feel like I failed him.

I tried so hard.

I want to go back and get him, but I know it's not the right thing for him or my home. Even my vet told me he had to place one of his OWN dogs,because the dog just couldn't settle down.... and he said he never, ever, couldn't 'break' a dog.....
sometimes it just dosen't work.

I'm going to try to upload a pic of him for you all, but i'm not good at it.

P.s. Freedom, I know you have 7 dogs, but I was thinking of you all day today- wishing you were nearby, and had room on your farm for just one more lovey.
Love,
cess

cessy68

hopefully this works. This was last winter......... he's about 75 lbs larger now.....

cessy68

if anyone can tell me how, I will.... maybe tomorrow.

Thankyou all for the prayers.

I will keep them close to my heart tonight.
love cess

winnie12

i'm sorry you lost your friend Cessy but you had to do it for his wellbeing.

Impurrfect

aww, sweetie, sending lots of prayers for you and Shane. I can only imagine how hard this must have been.

You did the best you could, hon, and he is safe. Crashing through broken glass could lead him to cut an artery and you would not be able to get him help fast enough to save him, so you truly are saving his life, okay?

:ghug3 Thought you could use this, too.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Serenity Bound

Cessy, I'm so sorry. Our furry friends are indeed family. Sweetie you did the right thing, much better for Shane then for him to continue to hurt himself, and the potential of hurting himself badly.

Prayers for all of you.
Chris

cessy68

Hi all, I wanted to thankyou all for the prayers, they must of worked. After school today I was so distraught, I went back to the farm to talk to the owner.

I asked her is she could assure me that Shane would be staying there........

She kinda just looked at me, as if to say she didn't quite know.

I started crying, and asked if I provided food etc. for him, if then she could assure me he could stay there, and be cared for.

Although I loathe the thought of him being in a 'kennel'.... it may be better for him, because of his potential for hurting himself. Perhaps a 'contained' enviornment may help him.... i don't know.

Anyhow, she said she would make a deal with me, If I wanted to volunteer time on the farm on occassion, when she needs extra help, she will keep him- and I am welcome to come see him/walk him/ etc. whenever I want. I of course agreed. She asked me if I wanted to go see him today- I declined. To say 'goodbye' again, would make me feel like I got his hopes up.

I don't know if I will utilize her offer...... I agreed right away..... but I just don't know. My neighbor, (an advid dog/animal lover) understood my concerns.... to keep saying 'goodbye' might just be to taxing on my heart.

Anyhow, at least I have options.

What do you all think? I do know for sure, the last thing I could do today, was walk down to the kennel - and see him sitting in there. It would have just tore me apart. I come home now, and there are no more broken windows, or chaos with the 2 dogs fighting. Shane was extremely high maitenence-- I know I did the right thing for him and my other dog- (who seems happy as heck... running around with toys and brining them to me.) - this is something he hadn't done with Shane around. I guess he's happy to be an 'only child' again.

Thankyou for understanding..... thank you for the prayers and support.
Love,
Cess

marle

It sounds like you did the best thing that you could for Shane. I have bred three litters of Brittany pups and I have always told the people who purchased a pup from me that if for any reason they could not keep the dog, no matter how old, I would take it back, no questions asked. Although I have never had a dog brought back, each pup was a part of me and I would have taken them back in an instant. Hopefully if the breeder can't keep Shane, she will find someone who has a big area for him to be in. Sending prayers that it works out for you and Shane. Hugs, Marle

Impurrfect

(((Cess))) - Just me, but once I give my word, I try really hard to keep it. Maybe you can volunteer in an area away from Shane's spot fora little while? Give him, and you, more time to adjust back to his new surroundings.

I really do understand how you feel. I believe that HP looks after our furbabies, too, and I am including Shane in my prayers.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Ann

(((Cessy))) One animal lover to another, I'm sending big prayers and lots of hugs

cessy68

Oh amy, I hope people don't misunderstand my statement-- I still would love to help volunteer there, I just don't know if I should be 'visiting' shane while doing so. I think it might be too hard.... kinda like a person who gave up their baby for adoption, it wouldn't work emotionally to keep reconnecting.....

However, I will be there for the woman on the farm, no questions about that.
Thanks for praying for Shane as well as me.
Love,
cess

Impurrfect

((Cess)) - I do understand...don't know that I could see my "baby" in a kennel, either, even if it IS the best thing for him.

I'm praying that HP finds him somewhere he can run, play and be safe.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Freedom1990

Posting a picture of Shane for Cess. :ghug

cessy68

:ghug
thank you freedom....