bluebelle

Hi,
Things are not the best at my house. I have a killer cold. So, I'm stuck at home and not feeling too well. My ABF has been really depressed lately. He stopped using codeine in December. He has been under the care of a psychiatrist and was on Suboxone. He is been off the Suboxone completely for over a week. He has made some changes to his depression medicine. Still, he is very depressed. He thought that he had a new job last week, but that didn't work out. He's been really depressed about that. He's tired all the time, and can't seem to concentrate on anything. He has dabbled a bit in online trading--which is really not good. He claims that he just did it once and won himself some money. However, this has been a problem for him in the past. I'm afraid that he is going to trade one addiction for another. I told him that. He admitted that he is feeling really poorly and is wondering if he will ever feel better. He is worried about not being able to concentrate and is worried that he'll never get a job. He is frustrated because he feels like things keep going wrong for him--first, he was addicted to codeine, then, he went back to it, then, he got a sinus infection--now, he has lost a job opportunity that he was excited about and he has a cold. (Yes, I gave him my cold.)

I've been trying to keep things going on my end. I've been working and taking a class. However, now I have this nasty class and I've had to miss work, and I'm behind on my studies.

I'm just looking for advice as to how best to handle his depressive moods.--well, all his mood changes. Last week, he even called me at work because he was all jealous about guys that I work with. That whole jealousy thing was completely unfounded.

Ann

I am glad to hear he is tapering or changing his medication under doctor's care.

It is not unusual for addicts to have difficulty adjusting to medication changes, either of product or dosage, and it just takes time for them to find the right prescription for them. He may want to discuss this with his doctor.

When this happens, I have seen more success with people who took healthy action to overcome the depression...walking, working out with weights, doing yard work and gardening and just getting outdoors more instead of isolating. I hope he tries some of these actions instead of just sitting at his computer for whatever reason he is there.

How about you? Have you found any meetings for you? If not, maybe give it a try, I promise you'll be glad you did.

Hugs

marle

My daughter uses Suboxone for her opiate addiction. She has that tired, don't give a crap feeling too. She is trying the eating right, exercising and cutting down on her Seroquel (which I think is the main reason for her feeling like a zombie). She is learning that a pill does not solve her problems. That she needs to be proactive about her health. But nothing that I said to her made a difference until she was ready to take that step to feel better herself. Opiate addicts really do a number on their brain chemistry and it takes a good long while before they feel normal. Check out PAWS as many addicts suffer from it. Just google and you will get information about it. Don't forget to take care of you while he is struggling to find his way. It is too easy to get caught up in the negative mood that he is projecting. (I know because my hubby was out of work for more than a year and a half and it was really hard on him.) Hugs, Marle

cece1960

My son is on subs too.
You'd be lucky to get a smile out of him if he hit the lottery. But its not been long and he needs some time, I think.

Maybe the two of you could work out a schedule of chores around the house. Project type fix it up stuff that requires energy. I know I feel SO much better if I attack something and can see my hard work in the end.

bluebelle

ABF seems to be feeling a little less depressed. However, he is still trading stocks online. At least now he admits that's what he's doing. I think it is a really bad idea considering that several years ago he lost a lot of money trading stocks. He says he's going grocery shopping today & he says that he's going to look for work. I am really trying to stay out of his recovery. When he told me that he was trading stocks, I just said, "Oh." I didn't lecture him. I found some info on PAWS, but I didn't email it to him. I figured I'd do so only if he asked me to. I'm keeping in mind words from the book, Getting Them Sober. It says to be thankful if they seem to be heading downhill, because that means they are one step closer to their bottom. Hitting their bottom means things will get better. I think he is still clean. Of course, there are all those things that I think he could do better or differently. I'm just trying to let go and not voice those feelings. I know that he has to do this himself. I can't protect him, and I don't want to. I want to let things happen the way they are going to happen.

It is hard being home sick, because I see what he does all day (close to nothing). I will be glad when I feel better and when I get back to work.

No, I haven't tried any meetings yet. I was so busy when I was still in class and working full-time. I think that's why I got sick--too much on my plate. Once I get well, I don't really have any other excuses to not try a meeting.

bluebelle

He is supporting himself with savings. He has enough to not work for a while--he says he just wants to start working again so that he'll still have a good cushion. He claims that he is concerned about his financial state. Of course, gambling (which is essentially what he is doing) is not going to help his finances.

This doesn't effect me financially--we keep our finances separate. I'm just worried because he got himself in a mess in the past due to this behavior. He ended up owing a lot of money on his credit cards. He has paid all of that off. He claims that he is trading because he is "bored."

I don't know whether I should say anything, or just butt out. I have a feeling that he wouldn't listen to anything I'd say.

bluebelle

Yeah, I'm pretty worried about his behavior. He does have an appointment with his addiction dr tomorrow. For me---it's been a struggle. This is not the way that I picture our life to be. Things looked like they were getting better, but he's had some setbacks since he stopped the Suboxone.

Abundance

was he not as depressed when he was on the sub?

bluebelle

No, he wasn't as depressed. He's having a really hard time getting up and going. He brought it up this evening, and I said that I was concerned about the stock trading. He said that he agreed with me. He later came in and announced that he found something more constructive to do with his time. He went and got his guitar and worked on figuring out a song. He has had some other withdrawel symptoms from the Suboxone--restless legs, and buzzing in his ears.