Maybe that drink will help!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Cambridgeshire UK
Posts: 59
Maybe that drink will help!
Hi all
I just wanted someone to listen and maybe give me some advice, or should i say please please give me some advice.
I really need some help, Im on day 3 of sobriety and even tho Im still going through the withdrawl symptoms and dont even want to drink my head is starting to clear and the realisation of whats happening in my life is becoming ever more real. Im going to lose my house which Ive worked so hard on, I cant run my buisness, I have no money Im in debt and so much more to sort out.
I just sit in my house at the moment while I still have it looking at the same walls all on my own, cant go out dont want to go out.
Constantly walking around- from kitchen to lounge up stairs through the bedroom in to the bathroom and back down over and over sobing and crying uncontrolbly, tears in my eyes as Im trying to write this.
Im so down and depressed and lost and confused and my head is spining, thoughts running through it at a hundred miles an hour.
I cant kill myself because my son needs me, he stays with me on weekends-but he's going to lose his house and room and pets which loves so much too.
Im sorry to have to do this to everyone but I dont no what to do, maybe that drink will help..........
I just wanted someone to listen and maybe give me some advice, or should i say please please give me some advice.
I really need some help, Im on day 3 of sobriety and even tho Im still going through the withdrawl symptoms and dont even want to drink my head is starting to clear and the realisation of whats happening in my life is becoming ever more real. Im going to lose my house which Ive worked so hard on, I cant run my buisness, I have no money Im in debt and so much more to sort out.
I just sit in my house at the moment while I still have it looking at the same walls all on my own, cant go out dont want to go out.
Constantly walking around- from kitchen to lounge up stairs through the bedroom in to the bathroom and back down over and over sobing and crying uncontrolbly, tears in my eyes as Im trying to write this.
Im so down and depressed and lost and confused and my head is spining, thoughts running through it at a hundred miles an hour.
I cant kill myself because my son needs me, he stays with me on weekends-but he's going to lose his house and room and pets which loves so much too.
Im sorry to have to do this to everyone but I dont no what to do, maybe that drink will help..........
Miracles Happen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 9,977
Yes if you really think that drink will help, then by all means go right ahead.
Our drinking got us in these messes to begin with and how we think another drink will get us through it, is beyond me. That is our disease, cunning, baffling & powerful.
Why not use prayer instead of a drink? Remember that God will do for us, what we cannot do for ourselves.
Our drinking got us in these messes to begin with and how we think another drink will get us through it, is beyond me. That is our disease, cunning, baffling & powerful.
Why not use prayer instead of a drink? Remember that God will do for us, what we cannot do for ourselves.
let it grow!
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 15,540
those first days of recovery is so hard, fletch. can you find someone to talk to in your community - a friend, a counselor, a medical doctor? can you get to an aa meeting for some face support?
keep reaching out. prayers and hugs, k
keep reaching out. prayers and hugs, k
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
The drink won't help!
After the drink, the problems are still there! And you feel like sh*t AGAIN!
You are likely experiencing anxiety. It is common in early withdrawal. I had full blown panic attacks when I was withdrawing from my vodka addiction. I wanted to run screaming down the street, nude. I settled for a walk in the rain with clothes on, no screaming.
It sucks, but it will get better! Drinking will just prolong the withdrawals.
Have you seen a doc? They may be able to help with the anxiety.
You did not get into this situation overnight (finances, job, home). You won't be able to solve it before 8:00 p.m. Give yourself time to work through the early withdrawal of alcohol addiction. Your mind WILL clear. You will be able to sort through the rest of your life when you are calmer.
Stay away from the booze!
After the drink, the problems are still there! And you feel like sh*t AGAIN!
You are likely experiencing anxiety. It is common in early withdrawal. I had full blown panic attacks when I was withdrawing from my vodka addiction. I wanted to run screaming down the street, nude. I settled for a walk in the rain with clothes on, no screaming.
It sucks, but it will get better! Drinking will just prolong the withdrawals.
Have you seen a doc? They may be able to help with the anxiety.
You did not get into this situation overnight (finances, job, home). You won't be able to solve it before 8:00 p.m. Give yourself time to work through the early withdrawal of alcohol addiction. Your mind WILL clear. You will be able to sort through the rest of your life when you are calmer.
Stay away from the booze!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 333
Hey - I'm not far from you - physically (Cambridge), and mentally to be honest! I have been sober for 43 days now but when I started I felt like you. I believed I had screwed everything up, got my family into debt big time, couldn't work, lost friends, all of that.. it's hard to keep going at times but you really must. It's true, drinking got you in to this mess, and you can get yourself out of it. Do you have a nice GP? Good friends? If all else fails, try to talk to the samaritans. That may sound corny, but you do need someone to talk to.
Please do it.
cm xxx
Please do it.
cm xxx
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,151
Pacing the floors and feeling as you do, could lead to another drink- that will just give you more problems than you already have. You've probably lost perspective on things so get some help. I found the best help for me was AA. I stopped drinking through the program of AA.
Here is the link for AA in the UK. You'll find meetings in your area and a local number to call. Give it a try - you will find a lot of support and identification.
Alcoholics Anonymous | AA | in England, Scotland and Wales, UK
You could also try your GP and local drug/alcohol team for additional support.
Good Luck.
Here is the link for AA in the UK. You'll find meetings in your area and a local number to call. Give it a try - you will find a lot of support and identification.
Alcoholics Anonymous | AA | in England, Scotland and Wales, UK
You could also try your GP and local drug/alcohol team for additional support.
Good Luck.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Fletch,
I still vividly remember the first few days after I stopped drinking. It is SO hard to look at everything and try to figure out what to do.
All I can say to you is, try to not get overwhelmed. You can't solve all the problems at once, but have faith that things will work out.
Why not push yourself to get outside today, and go for a walk?
I still vividly remember the first few days after I stopped drinking. It is SO hard to look at everything and try to figure out what to do.
All I can say to you is, try to not get overwhelmed. You can't solve all the problems at once, but have faith that things will work out.
Why not push yourself to get outside today, and go for a walk?
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
No the drink will not help. Think it through.. you could drink, feel a buzz, false relief, sober up, and feel even worse than you do now. I promise that you will, and I don’t want you to feel worse. I highly recommend Anna’s walk idea, it will at least get you out of the house, no walls to stare at and maybe give you a bit of time to reflect on what positive changes in your life could mean for you down the road. I know those first days are hard.. harder than hard. I know when I started feeling better after detoxing, life was still waiting for me.. and it’s hard to face without a crutch. Life happens, and we need to find new ways to work with what we’ve been left with after a career of bad decision making about how to cope.
In what ways do you think drinking today will help you tomorrow?
In what ways do you think drinking today will help you tomorrow?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: CA desert
Posts: 1,599
Hey Fletch,
Another drink may seem like a good choice, especially considering all the devastation that drinking has played a major role in our lives. Simply put, it is not the answer.
The problems you describe will take a lot of work to resolve. Developing a support system, a network if you will, would be the first step I would take. You mention various areas of concern in your post, and these are the areas I would break down into individual problems. Take them one at a time. You say you have a business, what can you do today to start getting that business back on track? You have a home you love, what steps can you take to secure your residence, if possible? Is bankruptcy an option you should consider, maybe restructuring your debt? Do you have friends or family members who may be able to assist you a little? How about pursuing some short-term loans, to get you started again? Is your credit still good? Having a multitude of problems means we need to carefully analyze all of the solutions we can think of, so it helps to take each problem and break it out separately, on a sheet of paper, then brainstorm all of the possible ways of dealing with each problem, and list our available options in writing. That way we begin to focus on solutions, we get our creative juices flowing and we can begin to develop a plan of action, based on the reality of our situations. Then we have to take the best approach we can formulate to deal with each problem the best we can, after weighing our options. It helps to talk with others, if only to discover that we aren't unique and there are solutions, if we work at finding them.
It's much easier to do all of this with a clear head, so put off the drink till you've thoroughly done all of this. Then you can decide.
Another drink may seem like a good choice, especially considering all the devastation that drinking has played a major role in our lives. Simply put, it is not the answer.
The problems you describe will take a lot of work to resolve. Developing a support system, a network if you will, would be the first step I would take. You mention various areas of concern in your post, and these are the areas I would break down into individual problems. Take them one at a time. You say you have a business, what can you do today to start getting that business back on track? You have a home you love, what steps can you take to secure your residence, if possible? Is bankruptcy an option you should consider, maybe restructuring your debt? Do you have friends or family members who may be able to assist you a little? How about pursuing some short-term loans, to get you started again? Is your credit still good? Having a multitude of problems means we need to carefully analyze all of the solutions we can think of, so it helps to take each problem and break it out separately, on a sheet of paper, then brainstorm all of the possible ways of dealing with each problem, and list our available options in writing. That way we begin to focus on solutions, we get our creative juices flowing and we can begin to develop a plan of action, based on the reality of our situations. Then we have to take the best approach we can formulate to deal with each problem the best we can, after weighing our options. It helps to talk with others, if only to discover that we aren't unique and there are solutions, if we work at finding them.
It's much easier to do all of this with a clear head, so put off the drink till you've thoroughly done all of this. Then you can decide.
friend of bill w.
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: east coast
Posts: 218
Fletch,
please give yourself a chance. pick up the phone book, call AA. sometimes they can send sommeonne out to pick you up to take you to a meeting if you dont wannt to go by yourself. This too will pass. At the meeting, get a big book, a sponsor and work the steps. Sounds like you have hit bottom and havve the gift of desperation.
I am only 3 months sober and I, too, am dealinng with the wreckage of the past. I just got a job and things are very slowly gettinng better. If you pick up that drink it will only lead to a downward spiral to the end. If you get help and stay sober the spiral will be slowly upward. Your child needs you. Give sobriety a chance. Don't give up! You dont have to do this alone!!!:ghug3
please give yourself a chance. pick up the phone book, call AA. sometimes they can send sommeonne out to pick you up to take you to a meeting if you dont wannt to go by yourself. This too will pass. At the meeting, get a big book, a sponsor and work the steps. Sounds like you have hit bottom and havve the gift of desperation.
I am only 3 months sober and I, too, am dealinng with the wreckage of the past. I just got a job and things are very slowly gettinng better. If you pick up that drink it will only lead to a downward spiral to the end. If you get help and stay sober the spiral will be slowly upward. Your child needs you. Give sobriety a chance. Don't give up! You dont have to do this alone!!!:ghug3
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Cambridgeshire UK
Posts: 59
thankyou evryone
Your advice and thoughts are so reasuring and helpful
Anna I took your point about going for a walk, got up straight away put my shoes on and went for a short walk to the shop, didnt buy any drink even tho it watched me the whole time...... bought a paper and some cigeretes and got out quick. Forgot how good fresh air was.
Rang my mum and she's coming round now, my dads picking me up after he finishes work to take me to his for dinner a chat and to get a change of scenery, I need to be honest and let it all out dont I.
its a start right x
Your advice and thoughts are so reasuring and helpful
Anna I took your point about going for a walk, got up straight away put my shoes on and went for a short walk to the shop, didnt buy any drink even tho it watched me the whole time...... bought a paper and some cigeretes and got out quick. Forgot how good fresh air was.
Rang my mum and she's coming round now, my dads picking me up after he finishes work to take me to his for dinner a chat and to get a change of scenery, I need to be honest and let it all out dont I.
its a start right x
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Fletch sit down in a quiet area and answer this one question as honestly as you can:
What led me to where I am at this very moment?
Now if the answer is the same as mine was............. my alcoholism, then you will see you are at the crossroads.
I had to make a decision, I had 2 choices:
1. Keep on drinking, lose everything, & die a slow LONELY death from alcoholism.
2. Stop drinking, change the way I was living and thinking & live.
I am a firm beleiver in the saying "Change I must, or die I will."
There are 2 solutions for an alcoholic of which I am one:
Drink and die
Get and stay sober and live!
I have NEVER had a problem that a drink solved permantly, I used to have tons of them that I tried to drink away and the only thing that drinking did for those problems was allow the problems to grow and multiply.
Do you HONESTLY feel a drink will help resolve all your issues for good?
What led me to where I am at this very moment?
Now if the answer is the same as mine was............. my alcoholism, then you will see you are at the crossroads.
I had to make a decision, I had 2 choices:
1. Keep on drinking, lose everything, & die a slow LONELY death from alcoholism.
-OR-
2. Stop drinking, change the way I was living and thinking & live.
I am a firm beleiver in the saying "Change I must, or die I will."
There are 2 solutions for an alcoholic of which I am one:
Drink and die
Get and stay sober and live!
I have NEVER had a problem that a drink solved permantly, I used to have tons of them that I tried to drink away and the only thing that drinking did for those problems was allow the problems to grow and multiply.
Do you HONESTLY feel a drink will help resolve all your issues for good?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Livingroom
Posts: 323
WOW... so much great information. I really don't have anything to add except you are right were you should be.. And drinking is NOT the answer. My first weeks off of xanx (sp) was a real ride from hell. I thought it would never end but I knew it was no longer the answer to my problems. It became The problem...
Be Well
Be Well
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 652
l was excatly the same a week ago ! Got some valium from the doctor to see me through the first few days, and after a week sober things are looking much better.
There is light at the end of the tunnel !!
Just get through the first few days with some help.
And one drink will make you feel ok for a hour, but then it starts all over again.
That one drink is not worth it.
l wish you strength and courage.
You are stronger than you think. !
There is light at the end of the tunnel !!
Just get through the first few days with some help.
And one drink will make you feel ok for a hour, but then it starts all over again.
That one drink is not worth it.
l wish you strength and courage.
You are stronger than you think. !
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Hampshire UK
Posts: 162
Hi Fletch - sounds like you are beginning to do some of the right things! Onbviously, it's going to pretty tough for a while - but if you keep your head down and keep going - you will win! Like a lot of us, you've probably got a lot of things going in your life that need addressing - as well as the alcohol thing. Break everything down into small chunks and only try and deal with so much at one time.
Running your own business is tough at the best of times, so I fully understand how difficult it must be to keep things going at the moment. All I would say is, don't be afraid to let go of the things that are negative for you. Sometimes we need change in order to grow. And NEVER let money (or the lack of it) make decisions for you. If you are in debt, you owe people money, but you don't owe them anything else. Get a plan together that works for you, and only pay out what you can afford. I see you are in the UK - so why not get in touch with the Consumer Credit Counselling Service (CCCS). They provide an excellent service.
Remember, as miserable as you feel now, you still have the same capacity for future happiness as anyone else on the planet.
Well, that's my words of wisdom (!?) for now. Stay with us.
DB
Running your own business is tough at the best of times, so I fully understand how difficult it must be to keep things going at the moment. All I would say is, don't be afraid to let go of the things that are negative for you. Sometimes we need change in order to grow. And NEVER let money (or the lack of it) make decisions for you. If you are in debt, you owe people money, but you don't owe them anything else. Get a plan together that works for you, and only pay out what you can afford. I see you are in the UK - so why not get in touch with the Consumer Credit Counselling Service (CCCS). They provide an excellent service.
Remember, as miserable as you feel now, you still have the same capacity for future happiness as anyone else on the planet.
Well, that's my words of wisdom (!?) for now. Stay with us.
DB
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Cambridgeshire UK
Posts: 59
To all, your posts have been a fantastic help and shown me there is more to life and things will get better with time.
I feel confident and positive and WILL keep going, I'll get through this and come out the other end a better, happy and sober man.
I cant thank you enough for getting me through this tough day.
Thankyou SR family.
I feel confident and positive and WILL keep going, I'll get through this and come out the other end a better, happy and sober man.
I cant thank you enough for getting me through this tough day.
Thankyou SR family.
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