Whoa! THAT came outta nowhere!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Midland, NC
Posts: 1,266
Whoa! THAT came outta nowhere!!!
My husband has been gone out of town with his job for the last 6 weeks, so I've been alone alot. I'm a recovering opiate/cocaine/crack addict, 170 days clean, and just out of the blue I had an overwhelming craving for coke/crack. I let myself imagine making the call, getting in the car, going to buy a pipe, how much I was going to spend, so on and etc. WOW! this is overwhelming!
Where did this come from? And why?
Where did this come from? And why?
it's a movie, you're the star
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 355
hey! congrats on your clean time! relax, it's normal to have that lucid fantasy debacle - i've had my fair share. I'm really proud of you for doing the right thing and coming on here for support about it - as opposed to acting on it! Try to pre-occupy yourself with positive things: movies, music, books, etc.. AND feel free to write to private message me if you just wanna chat. The chat link on here is really helpful too, and they'll be a meeting at 9pm eastern tonight!
Just random note, I feel like I've seen your posts on the vh1 show sober house, am I just insane or are you the same person?
Rachel
Just random note, I feel like I've seen your posts on the vh1 show sober house, am I just insane or are you the same person?
Rachel
Go Browns!
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 642
Well you have been put in a tempting situation, neighbor! (by the way we are in bethel glenn).
I dont know how often your husband goes out of town. But if it isnt very often then that tells me that you have a new found freedom. You can easily go out and buy crack or coke and no one would ever know. My husband would never trust me that long. Guess that means you have been doing something right.
Doing something wrong would be acting on those impulses. Its ok to have them. My friend is engaged and has homosexual thoughts but she doesnt act on them. Thoughts are ok, acting on them is what get us in trouble.
So you have a choice, let everything you have done over the last 6 months go to waste or keep coming on here and posting. You can do it.
Do you go to NA? Maybe you should consider a meeting when youre feeling like this. There is a group that meets in Mint Hill.
I dont know how often your husband goes out of town. But if it isnt very often then that tells me that you have a new found freedom. You can easily go out and buy crack or coke and no one would ever know. My husband would never trust me that long. Guess that means you have been doing something right.
Doing something wrong would be acting on those impulses. Its ok to have them. My friend is engaged and has homosexual thoughts but she doesnt act on them. Thoughts are ok, acting on them is what get us in trouble.
So you have a choice, let everything you have done over the last 6 months go to waste or keep coming on here and posting. You can do it.
Do you go to NA? Maybe you should consider a meeting when youre feeling like this. There is a group that meets in Mint Hill.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,242
Its amazing how cunning, baffling
and powerful those urges pop up
at anytime when least expected.
You can be in a good place, feeling
awesome or low and miserable then
bingo, the craving is knocking at ur
back door.
I have to be working my program
24-7. I have to make sure im
mentally, emotionally, physically,
spiritually fit in recovery....
I also have to take care that those
triggers that encounter my thinking
are quickly taken care of.
Hunger, anger, loneliness, and tiredness
equals HALT. Stop and take care of urself.
Restlessness, irritability, discontent. Equals
RID.....Get rid of it.
and powerful those urges pop up
at anytime when least expected.
You can be in a good place, feeling
awesome or low and miserable then
bingo, the craving is knocking at ur
back door.
I have to be working my program
24-7. I have to make sure im
mentally, emotionally, physically,
spiritually fit in recovery....
I also have to take care that those
triggers that encounter my thinking
are quickly taken care of.
Hunger, anger, loneliness, and tiredness
equals HALT. Stop and take care of urself.
Restlessness, irritability, discontent. Equals
RID.....Get rid of it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Midland, NC
Posts: 1,266
Rachel...Thanks for your kind words....and yeah, thats me!
Nallabelle...My husband's job has him out of town all the time. As a matter of fact, thats when I used the most....when he was out of town! I've not thought about using for a while, so I just don't know where this came from! I do know that there's a meeting @ Wilgrove Babtist on Thursday nights. I may go. I just gotta keep playing the tape all the way through...I can't relapse...I just don't think I'd make it back.
Thanks for the support!
Nallabelle...My husband's job has him out of town all the time. As a matter of fact, thats when I used the most....when he was out of town! I've not thought about using for a while, so I just don't know where this came from! I do know that there's a meeting @ Wilgrove Babtist on Thursday nights. I may go. I just gotta keep playing the tape all the way through...I can't relapse...I just don't think I'd make it back.
Thanks for the support!
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 2,707
This might help.......... Ive been an addict for many years and was once a smoker.
I quit smoking in about 1989 and after 3-4 years of no smoking, I was driving down the road and i got a nick fit ( the worse ever ) so i pulled into a gas station and bought some smokes. They made me feel sick to i turfed them out.
Next day I had the same thing happen, so I bought some smokes and they made me feel the same way, so again i turfed them out.
It never happened again, not once.
As Sharon pointed out , addiction is cunning and baffling and it doesn't always make sense but this craving like my nick fits, will pass. I promise!
I quit smoking in about 1989 and after 3-4 years of no smoking, I was driving down the road and i got a nick fit ( the worse ever ) so i pulled into a gas station and bought some smokes. They made me feel sick to i turfed them out.
Next day I had the same thing happen, so I bought some smokes and they made me feel the same way, so again i turfed them out.
It never happened again, not once.
As Sharon pointed out , addiction is cunning and baffling and it doesn't always make sense but this craving like my nick fits, will pass. I promise!
Last edited by emmer; 03-15-2009 at 06:00 PM.
Go Browns!
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 642
Wow emmer I thought you were younger than that for some reason? 1989!
I think the meeting is at like 6:45 or 7pm. I went a couple weeks ago. Thursdays. You have to park around back and there is a sign on the door. Maybe I will see you there! I dont talk at meetings though.
I think the meeting is at like 6:45 or 7pm. I went a couple weeks ago. Thursdays. You have to park around back and there is a sign on the door. Maybe I will see you there! I dont talk at meetings though.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: md
Posts: 3,042
Penny,
Why wait until Thurs? Aren't there tons of meetings in the greater Charlotte area? I find myself going to a couple a day when I start having a high-craving week, which happens every now and then. Sometimes, for me, dreams or tv shows can trigger cravings. Sometimes stress. Sometimes I just don't know where they come from. I try not to get mad at myself when I get them, but sometimes I do. You should try to get to a meeting tomorrow if you can.
KJ
Why wait until Thurs? Aren't there tons of meetings in the greater Charlotte area? I find myself going to a couple a day when I start having a high-craving week, which happens every now and then. Sometimes, for me, dreams or tv shows can trigger cravings. Sometimes stress. Sometimes I just don't know where they come from. I try not to get mad at myself when I get them, but sometimes I do. You should try to get to a meeting tomorrow if you can.
KJ
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: md
Posts: 3,042
It might be that we sound young because we stopped maturing during the years of our active use. So some of us are chronologically 45 but maturationally about .....17??? Too bad our looks didn't freeze at 17 too, huh?? lol
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Midland, NC
Posts: 1,266
Thanks again everyone for the support and advice!
kj...You're right, I do need to go to a meeting and I'm gonna try to find one today.
I really don't know what subconsiously had me craving that 'sh!t" last night, but the important thing is....I didn't use! I made it to day 171.
I think that I'm spending too much time alone. While in active addiction, that's what I did, I always used alone.
Everytime I make through one of these "tests" and resist the urge to use, I feel stronger in my recovery! I would hate to think how I'd be feeling right now had I thrown my clean time away.
:ghug
Thanks again!
kj...You're right, I do need to go to a meeting and I'm gonna try to find one today.
I really don't know what subconsiously had me craving that 'sh!t" last night, but the important thing is....I didn't use! I made it to day 171.
I think that I'm spending too much time alone. While in active addiction, that's what I did, I always used alone.
Everytime I make through one of these "tests" and resist the urge to use, I feel stronger in my recovery! I would hate to think how I'd be feeling right now had I thrown my clean time away.
:ghug
Thanks again!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: md
Posts: 3,042
Penny, congrats for making it through that!
I hope you're feeling better today, with less cravings.
I have a problem with isolating, too! It's something I have to push past.
Do you have a sponsor?
Love,
KJ
I hope you're feeling better today, with less cravings.
I have a problem with isolating, too! It's something I have to push past.
Do you have a sponsor?
Love,
KJ
Miracles Happen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 9,977
This disease is Cunning, Baffling & Powerful. Without help it is to much for us. Those words echo through my head and remind me just how sick and dangerous my disease is. But my Higher Power and AA help me not to pick up one day at a time.
WE ARE ALL MIRACLES
WE ARE ALL MIRACLES
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