New here and AH in Rehab...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 13
New here and AH in Rehab...
Hi,
I'd like to introduce myself but I'm pretty stressed right now and I am for now just looking for some tips/suggestions/support/advice. (haha... hopefully I'm in the right place)
It's been over a year since I realized that my DH is actually an AH. (Only been married less than 2) Anyway, long story short (one you've all heard before) I'm pregnant and due in July.
Amazingly, AH has decided to do something (with a bit of my pushing) and is in rehab for up to 90 days.
I can't explain if it's the hormones or the fact that he's no longer here that I feel totally helpless. (Although I realize I was totally helpless with this monster anyway)
I'd really like to work on myself and how I'm going to change and handle him when he returns. ( I am going to Al-Anon - but just re-started up)
Anyone have any tips for how to work with a recovering Alchoholic (I HOPE!)?
What if it doesn't get better when he returns?
Please share your good/bad stories with me if you don't mind.
Ugh... you've all heard this before but thanks for reading.
I'd like to introduce myself but I'm pretty stressed right now and I am for now just looking for some tips/suggestions/support/advice. (haha... hopefully I'm in the right place)
It's been over a year since I realized that my DH is actually an AH. (Only been married less than 2) Anyway, long story short (one you've all heard before) I'm pregnant and due in July.
Amazingly, AH has decided to do something (with a bit of my pushing) and is in rehab for up to 90 days.
I can't explain if it's the hormones or the fact that he's no longer here that I feel totally helpless. (Although I realize I was totally helpless with this monster anyway)
I'd really like to work on myself and how I'm going to change and handle him when he returns. ( I am going to Al-Anon - but just re-started up)
Anyone have any tips for how to work with a recovering Alchoholic (I HOPE!)?
What if it doesn't get better when he returns?
Please share your good/bad stories with me if you don't mind.
Ugh... you've all heard this before but thanks for reading.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Hi goodtillitsbad - glad you found us! Getting a support group by going to Al-anon and posting here are great starts.
Sometimes, our alcoholic loved ones are OUR ADDICTION. When they leave, or go to rehab, or when we leave THEM, we suffer from withdrawal symptoms just like they do. The habits you're breaking are powerful ones....I wouldn't expect to just be all nonchalant about it!
It does get easier as your mind and body have more time to get used to the idea. Being addicted to a person can be just as damaging as being addicted to a chemical sometimes.
I hope he had a stronger reason for going into recovery than "doing it for you." If he is truly an alcoholic, that will probably not sustain his sobriety for very long. He has to do this for himself, because he is ready for a big change in his life and willing to do some hard work to get there. I'd encourage you to read around here, read some other posts by wives and girlfriends, and learn all you can through the "Sticky" posts at the very top of the forum. At this point, strengthening yourself and educating yourself about what lies ahead with an alcoholic partner are the best things you can do!
Sometimes, our alcoholic loved ones are OUR ADDICTION. When they leave, or go to rehab, or when we leave THEM, we suffer from withdrawal symptoms just like they do. The habits you're breaking are powerful ones....I wouldn't expect to just be all nonchalant about it!
It does get easier as your mind and body have more time to get used to the idea. Being addicted to a person can be just as damaging as being addicted to a chemical sometimes.I hope he had a stronger reason for going into recovery than "doing it for you." If he is truly an alcoholic, that will probably not sustain his sobriety for very long. He has to do this for himself, because he is ready for a big change in his life and willing to do some hard work to get there. I'd encourage you to read around here, read some other posts by wives and girlfriends, and learn all you can through the "Sticky" posts at the very top of the forum. At this point, strengthening yourself and educating yourself about what lies ahead with an alcoholic partner are the best things you can do!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 13
Thank you for your reply. I'm definately not nonchallant about this whole thing. I'm a real mess... you are right, I'm suffering from withdrawal symptoms. Not something I expected.
I'll just keep reading posts and I hope in time I start healing.
I couldn't tell you if he really is doing this rehab for himself. But I sure hope so.
I'll just keep reading posts and I hope in time I start healing.
I couldn't tell you if he really is doing this rehab for himself. But I sure hope so.
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
Welcome.
Can you Take this time to focus on yourself?
Maybe you can work the 12 steps of alanon. It works best if you get a sponsor to do this with.
This way you will both speak the same lang. upon his return, you will both be making effort toward living your best lives, you'll both understand the disease and how it effects you and most importantly you will both be making changes.
Don't worry about when he gets home. Make the most of now... tomorrow always takes care of itself and we lose making the most of today when we waste time with worry.
Although, being pregnant I understand you hope for your baby to come home to
a healthy home.
Can you Take this time to focus on yourself?
Maybe you can work the 12 steps of alanon. It works best if you get a sponsor to do this with.
This way you will both speak the same lang. upon his return, you will both be making effort toward living your best lives, you'll both understand the disease and how it effects you and most importantly you will both be making changes.
Don't worry about when he gets home. Make the most of now... tomorrow always takes care of itself and we lose making the most of today when we waste time with worry.
Although, being pregnant I understand you hope for your baby to come home to
a healthy home.
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