123bubblegum123

so i'm about to be heading home and my mom is already up my ass about everything. i really do not want to go home at all. i'm going to try to get onto the SR chats as much as i can for my own sanity. i can tell it's going to be a loooooong week...ick...

wish me luck..if anyone has some advice on how to deal with crazy nosey parents?

rachel

oliveblank

hey bubblegum,

Not sure of the exact circumstances, but I think leaving the house and going to the library or a coffeeshop with a laptop or a good book is a good way to stay out of it all. If you're in school, you can always just "go do work."

My mom always wants me to clean, which I do, but when I know she's gonna be an insane @hole about it I make sure to leave the house and say, "I have a really big test coming up, so I want to start studying." Schoolwork comes first.

good luck,
o

Mariposa18

I'm not sure about your situation but I echo what oliveblank said. If you feel yourself getting frustrated you can always say you have to go to the Library to do some research for a school project. Going for a walk alone to clear your thoughts would help too. I don't advocate lying but sometimes a little white lie is better than sticking around and having a blow out fight, kwim?

I now sometimes parents can be a handful, but try and have patience with them =) I hope you have a great time and all goes well!

CAPTAINZING2000

Not sure by your posts as to what advice I can give.

There would appear to be a trust issue going on here.

That, a fair assumption?

wanttolive

Hi 123,

I am a parent of one of you spring breakers. What is she in your face for? I think with my son sometimes he thinks I'm up his *** about things when I'm not really. I like to hear about his life at school but don't get in his business (I don't think!)

nickishine

:praying

adore79

Hi Bubble, I have nosey and crazy folks also. The best thing I've found is to just relax and let them have their fun. Their boring conversations and stuff, that is fun to them, and it is up to us as their kids to put up with it and even interact with them. Our parents are not perfect, but when we are there we deserve to treat them well, even if it is a discomfort to us. Believe me, that was hard to say since I have my own issues with my folks, but I try very hard to accomodate them, since that is what they deserve. Good luck honey.!!!!!

serenityqueen

I guess I would fall into the classification of a nosey ass parent! lol

Rachel, there are so many times that I imagine your Mom is not trying to be nosey, honestly. My son is 20 and it's hard to let go of your kids. I still see him sometimes as my little 7 year old who ran in the door from school yelling, "Mom? Mom? Guess what happened today! . . . " I would do just about anything to have that little boy back who had to give me every detail of his day, hearing how Bobby farted in class, so and so fell in the lunchroom and wanting three of his friends to spend the night on Friday night.

Now, he has so many friends from college and work that if I hear him talking on his phone, I have no idea who he's talking to. My son is a good kid, sorry, young man, who is very anti drugs, alcohol, even hates cigarettes so it's not like I think he's doing anything wrong, but now that he's older at times I really do feel like I've lost my son. I'm no longer the one who he first wants to share something new and exciting with, that honor now goes to his girlfriend of 2 & 1/2 years.

I imagine if you are in the Newcomers forum, you more than likely have/had a drug or alcohol problem, is your Mom aware of any of this? If so, I imagine she is scared about what you could be doing. That's normal. No matter how old you are, you will always be your Mom's little girl. When I do or say one of those things that causes my son to say, "Oh, Mom!" out of complete embarressment, I always tell him, "Just wait until you're a parent, you'll understand."

Try spending a little bit more time with your Mom, I bet this will help. I'm not talking about spending an entire Friday night at the movies and getting pizza afterwards, but share a little of what's going on in your life with her. It's the little things that make me feel all warm and fuzzy like I did when my son was little and would run up and hug me. He can be watching tv and sometimes he'll yell for me to come and see something. . . he'll ask me if I've seen this commercial when it's a new one that he is hysterically laughing at. Every great once in awhile, he'll buy me a single rose and just hand it to me without saying a word. This speaks volumes, (even though I know his girlfriend just got a dozen to mark yet another of their monthly anniversaries) I know he was thinking about me when he went into the flower shop. There are so many little things that you can do to make your Mom feel like she hasn't lost her baby.

Now, let me say this to you, mark my words, when you have your own kids, one day you will feel like they don't need you anymore and I want you to remember me. Remind yourself that you heard this somewhere before! lol

:ghug3
Big Hug,
Judy

oliveblank

hey bubblegum,

I meant to repost to you sooner, but serenityqueen beat me to punch!

Your folks may not be like this, but I know that a lot of the time my mother and father just want to hang out with me. Sometimes I think that they're nosey or pushy just because I am so strapped for time that I don't talk to them as much as I should. (I'm 25 and a graduate student, I'm doing work all the time).

So in echoing serenity queen, you may want to just make time for them. Go out to lunch or dinner, or have dinner with them at home. (I'm headed home to spend the night, and they're super excited to take me out to dinner. It's really sweet and I'm really looking forward to it)

In conclusion, parents can be a pain in the butt, but they can also be the best thing in the world (they listen, they love you, they feed you, and they're people who need support, love, and time). Parents-- they're just like us!!!

Wow, that was a bit cheesey, but you catch my drift.

-o

BKP

Godbless you for staying sober in college, I tried it and it did not work for me, thank you for having the strength to do so, it is hard. My mom is the same way, drives me insane about everything i do is wrong. Just keep the conversation free of judgement resulting in hurting them or yourself. It is a b*tch I know it is.