"You're too young to be an alcholic"
A new dawn and new chapter
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Kansas City, Missouri
Posts: 298
"You're too young to be an alcholic"
I just wanted to connect with some of the younger members or lurkers who might be out there reading this message.
When I was 17 I was already a well accomplished drinker. I started drinking when I was 12 but took till I was 13 before I was doing it on a regular basis. Getting some booze was like getting some fresh air, all to easy to come across. When In was still in Jr. High I got suspended from school for being drunk on the bus. Not your typical behavior for a kid that age. I only did that one time. After that I showed up to school stoned, that is if I showed up at all.
Anyway back to when I was 17. At that age I remember feeling always out of sorts and the only relief I got was from drinking. I didn't know what the hell was wrong with me, I thought I was cracking up and they would stick me in some padded cell strapped into a straight jacket and slam the door shut forever. I couldn't take it anymore and starting seeking out an answer. Long story short it hit me dead in the face like a ton of bricks....I was an alcoholic. I took one of those are you an alcoholic tests and passed it with flying colors. I then had a resolve to get any kind of treatment I could and never touch that stuff again. And the only option available for me was the willpower not to pick up another drink and go to AA meetings.
I felt really out of place. Here I was a 17 year old kid and in the group not a single person my age. The youngest member there I remember was 25, everybody else was 30's 40's 50's and beyond. And while I listened to these stories I kept thinking that I haven't nearly lived the lifestyle some of these guys in here were talking about and made myself feel even more out of place. I heard that there was AA for teens but unfortunately there were none in my local area. But that wasn't the bad part.
The bad part was that people kept telling me that I was to young to be an alcoholic. No one told me that at the AA meeting but on the rare occasion I remember there was a girl about 19 at the time come in and told her story one old grouch from the group told her she was to young to have a problem. And wasn't long before she was gone and I followed suit. But I had people I worked with at my job laughing and saying that there's no way I could have a problem, even some of my own siblings and family said the same. And it wasn't long before I believed them and slipped back into my own personal hell that would develop into a love hate relationship for the next 12 years.
And here I am now 29, still a young guy but now old enough to graduate to the you have a drinking problem age. I'm sober now, still in early recovery but I'm finally making it. And I still think about that time when I was 17 and only if I didn't listen to the people back then, and how much more my life could of been different if I stayed sober instead of now trying to fix the damage done. SO MY MESSAGE TO YOU: If you seriously think you have a drinking or drug problem remember addiction knows no age limit. Don't listen to others if they try to tell you otherwise. Get any help you can get and try to get sober. Because trust me, the older you get the harder it will be.
When I was 17 I was already a well accomplished drinker. I started drinking when I was 12 but took till I was 13 before I was doing it on a regular basis. Getting some booze was like getting some fresh air, all to easy to come across. When In was still in Jr. High I got suspended from school for being drunk on the bus. Not your typical behavior for a kid that age. I only did that one time. After that I showed up to school stoned, that is if I showed up at all.
Anyway back to when I was 17. At that age I remember feeling always out of sorts and the only relief I got was from drinking. I didn't know what the hell was wrong with me, I thought I was cracking up and they would stick me in some padded cell strapped into a straight jacket and slam the door shut forever. I couldn't take it anymore and starting seeking out an answer. Long story short it hit me dead in the face like a ton of bricks....I was an alcoholic. I took one of those are you an alcoholic tests and passed it with flying colors. I then had a resolve to get any kind of treatment I could and never touch that stuff again. And the only option available for me was the willpower not to pick up another drink and go to AA meetings.
I felt really out of place. Here I was a 17 year old kid and in the group not a single person my age. The youngest member there I remember was 25, everybody else was 30's 40's 50's and beyond. And while I listened to these stories I kept thinking that I haven't nearly lived the lifestyle some of these guys in here were talking about and made myself feel even more out of place. I heard that there was AA for teens but unfortunately there were none in my local area. But that wasn't the bad part.
The bad part was that people kept telling me that I was to young to be an alcoholic. No one told me that at the AA meeting but on the rare occasion I remember there was a girl about 19 at the time come in and told her story one old grouch from the group told her she was to young to have a problem. And wasn't long before she was gone and I followed suit. But I had people I worked with at my job laughing and saying that there's no way I could have a problem, even some of my own siblings and family said the same. And it wasn't long before I believed them and slipped back into my own personal hell that would develop into a love hate relationship for the next 12 years.
And here I am now 29, still a young guy but now old enough to graduate to the you have a drinking problem age. I'm sober now, still in early recovery but I'm finally making it. And I still think about that time when I was 17 and only if I didn't listen to the people back then, and how much more my life could of been different if I stayed sober instead of now trying to fix the damage done. SO MY MESSAGE TO YOU: If you seriously think you have a drinking or drug problem remember addiction knows no age limit. Don't listen to others if they try to tell you otherwise. Get any help you can get and try to get sober. Because trust me, the older you get the harder it will be.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Tx
Posts: 64
Being in recovery myself, I saw the signs of my 15yr old son's addiction to alcohol and marijuana at about 14. I don't think you are ever too young to have an addiction. As a parent, I didn't want to face it for a long time. Had alot of people telling me, he's just a teenager, they are all doing it. I also believe that my brother was already addicted at a very early age........just my opinion. Good luck to you!
A new dawn and new chapter
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Kansas City, Missouri
Posts: 298
Originally Posted by lifeinchaos 
Being in recovery myself, I saw the signs of my 15yr old son's addiction to alcohol and marijuana at about 14. I don't think you are ever too young to have an addiction. As a parent, I didn't want to face it for a long time. Had alot of people telling me, he's just a teenager, they are all doing it. I also believe that my brother was already addicted at a very early age........just my opinion. Good luck to you!
That's the big reason I wanted to address the younger crowd. Because if teens are still like the teens I was and knew, temptation is EVERYWHERE! That's the famous age group where most start to experiment with drinking and drugs. Some will kind of party a little bit and leave it behind as they get older. Others wont be so lucky and go down a long dark ugly path that if they are fortunate enough to come to, they'll wish they never took. And I only hope they can catch it while still young and do something about it.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Bismarck ND
Posts: 7
I agree. I started at 17, blew thru college with honors, went to grad school, and then BAM. Suddenly I could get fired if I kept up my saturday into sunday morning binges, suddenly all my ex-girlfriends are married, suddenly my brain isn't as sharp as it once was, suddenly at age 26, it feels good to be not have had a drop in 15 days. My friends used to joke that I was an alcoholic when I was 20, maybe they weren't joking since I was out of my mind 24/7 in college. Listen up kids! If you take advantage of getting straight A's while being tanked 24/7, within a few years, you LOSE YOUR PRIVELEGE OF DRINKING FOREVER!!!!!! Which so far is not as awful as it sounded 1 month ago when I chose a target day to quit. And I was big into the music scene and many drug addict friends, KIDS!, myself and every single one of my "party" group form those days are like 5 years behind everyone else in some aspect of life, either school or emotional development. Free advice that sometimes you have to learn on your own, but if you feel like you are slipping, you generally fall down at some point. Either when you are 19 and get arrested for cocaine, or like me, when you are fat and 25, and you wonder where all the time went. Sorry if that was sort of a downer, but alcohol IS a downer, and if you have any sort of depression issues, once you get over the wall of "therapuetic value" booze can give you and enter the "pattern of life, dependency mode," man, those depressive thoughts become quantified and you will think and feel things you never imagined possible in your worst nightmares!
So younger people, especially those of you who are "good at drinking games," be aware of the effects and dangers.
After all, if you are drinking over 8 drinks to get a "calm relaxed feeling," that is a signal you may have a problem because that feeling in normal drinkers is usually achieved in one or two drinks.
If you are in college, try to find one activity outside the realm of drinking or drugs, be open minded, that is something that could have helped many of my friends.
Enjoy being 19, 20, 21, 18, 17, and even 16! Just be aware of the big dark demon that can suck you in, make you feel great, and then leave you to suffer.
A note to anyone who may relate to my situation, after 15 days, I can feel my brain work so fast it's like a upgraded to a new computer, and its so good to have a quick mind that it makes the thought of how I used to feel on mondays seem awful and sort of ridiculous. I am still waiting for the "healthy glow" that I have heard about, and that is kind of exciting.
So younger people, especially those of you who are "good at drinking games," be aware of the effects and dangers.
After all, if you are drinking over 8 drinks to get a "calm relaxed feeling," that is a signal you may have a problem because that feeling in normal drinkers is usually achieved in one or two drinks.
If you are in college, try to find one activity outside the realm of drinking or drugs, be open minded, that is something that could have helped many of my friends.
Enjoy being 19, 20, 21, 18, 17, and even 16! Just be aware of the big dark demon that can suck you in, make you feel great, and then leave you to suffer.
A note to anyone who may relate to my situation, after 15 days, I can feel my brain work so fast it's like a upgraded to a new computer, and its so good to have a quick mind that it makes the thought of how I used to feel on mondays seem awful and sort of ridiculous. I am still waiting for the "healthy glow" that I have heard about, and that is kind of exciting.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Tx
Posts: 64
All the more reason I feel confident that getting my son into an inpatient treatment two months ago was the right decision. I commend yall for your hard work and starting this thread.
Good luck to you all!!!!
Good luck to you all!!!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
A great share Bard and definitely worth listening to for all the younger folks that come across SR!
There are obviously parts of the story that make me angry and one can only hope that the men that gave you such a poor welcome and even worse advice have relapsed and are living in squalor with a slow terminal condition that will ensure that there last days on this earth are excruciating and then, if there is such a place, they rot in hell for eternity. So you can forgive and forget them Bard ill carry that one for you:-)
I think it is also a great story for young people to choose who they listen to and not to give automatic credit to age and social status. Obviously young people should respect older people than them as they are supposed to have experienced more and be more wise. It is only when you get older yourself, i am 37, that you realise how many mothers, fathers, doctors, businessmen whoever of your own age are, and i say this in a serene recovery sort of way without anger but more empathy, absolutely full of ****! I myself would average that i tell a young person regularly each month not to listen to what an older colleague or friend of mine has said to them.
My story was at 30 going to an AA meeting, still young in mind, and talking to a grotty little man, bout 45, who appeared to be chairing the room, seemed to have everyone elses respect, afterwards asking to buy a big book to be asked how long had i stayed sober, i replied 2 days and he laughed and said come back when you have got 2 months. This does not reflect on AA but just on how easy it is to get caught off guard. I am actually going to AA meetings now.
I just can only pray that one day i am present when someone 'helps' a young man in such a way, it will be the ass beating of all time.
Great thread!
There are obviously parts of the story that make me angry and one can only hope that the men that gave you such a poor welcome and even worse advice have relapsed and are living in squalor with a slow terminal condition that will ensure that there last days on this earth are excruciating and then, if there is such a place, they rot in hell for eternity. So you can forgive and forget them Bard ill carry that one for you:-)
I think it is also a great story for young people to choose who they listen to and not to give automatic credit to age and social status. Obviously young people should respect older people than them as they are supposed to have experienced more and be more wise. It is only when you get older yourself, i am 37, that you realise how many mothers, fathers, doctors, businessmen whoever of your own age are, and i say this in a serene recovery sort of way without anger but more empathy, absolutely full of ****! I myself would average that i tell a young person regularly each month not to listen to what an older colleague or friend of mine has said to them.
My story was at 30 going to an AA meeting, still young in mind, and talking to a grotty little man, bout 45, who appeared to be chairing the room, seemed to have everyone elses respect, afterwards asking to buy a big book to be asked how long had i stayed sober, i replied 2 days and he laughed and said come back when you have got 2 months. This does not reflect on AA but just on how easy it is to get caught off guard. I am actually going to AA meetings now.
I just can only pray that one day i am present when someone 'helps' a young man in such a way, it will be the ass beating of all time.
Great thread!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Great thread. If you read Under the Influence, you will see that a large capacity for drinking, very little trouble dealing with hangovers, and above average abilities - like getting straight As with little effort - are all warning signs of a potential alcoholic.
I did all of those, and trust me you do not want to wait until you are in your 40s to sober up like I did.
I did all of those, and trust me you do not want to wait until you are in your 40s to sober up like I did.
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Or 50's. 
Bard, a great thread, thank you so much. I'm sure it will help many. My husband (now dead) was 15 when he started (thank you SO much, corner tavern in Philadelphia for serving him and his friends after school.....). He always handled it so well & by the time we got married at 21 he was a full blown alcoholic, but I had no clue. He was in the Marines, held a responsible job, no problems at all for years. Then it happened - at the worst possible time, since we had a 3 yrs. old. He completely tanked. Alcohol was his constant companion, no more traveling, swimming, golf.... or being a father & husband - nothing but sitting in a dimly lit room hiding from reality, drink in hand. Two trips to de-tox, paid for by his company, did nothing. ("I know where I went wrong, I can just have a beer now and then...") A life full of promise completely wasted and flushed away.
Bard, I'm so happy for you that you've seen the light at such a young age. Spreading the word is a great way to make our time on this earth mean something.
Bard, a great thread, thank you so much. I'm sure it will help many. My husband (now dead) was 15 when he started (thank you SO much, corner tavern in Philadelphia for serving him and his friends after school.....). He always handled it so well & by the time we got married at 21 he was a full blown alcoholic, but I had no clue. He was in the Marines, held a responsible job, no problems at all for years. Then it happened - at the worst possible time, since we had a 3 yrs. old. He completely tanked. Alcohol was his constant companion, no more traveling, swimming, golf.... or being a father & husband - nothing but sitting in a dimly lit room hiding from reality, drink in hand. Two trips to de-tox, paid for by his company, did nothing. ("I know where I went wrong, I can just have a beer now and then...") A life full of promise completely wasted and flushed away. Bard, I'm so happy for you that you've seen the light at such a young age. Spreading the word is a great way to make our time on this earth mean something.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: kelowna, b.c.
Posts: 74
I hate or rather laugh when people say "you are too young to be/have anything". Ie: too young to be an alchy, too young to have high blood pressure, and so on & so on. Try telling a young kid w/ cancer that their too young to have cancer *now that would sound rather stupid don't ya think*
I wish I aknowledged the signs of my problems back when I was a teen. Then maybe I wouldn't feel like I wasted so much time drinking booze. But I digress, thinking like this is destructive to sobriety. I choose to use this to fuel my motivation to experience things in the now, and to keep myself healthy so I can enjoy them to the fullest.
"You are too young," makes me laugh!!!
I wish I aknowledged the signs of my problems back when I was a teen. Then maybe I wouldn't feel like I wasted so much time drinking booze. But I digress, thinking like this is destructive to sobriety. I choose to use this to fuel my motivation to experience things in the now, and to keep myself healthy so I can enjoy them to the fullest.
"You are too young," makes me laugh!!!
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