katie53

i have guardianship nof 14 yr. old gd. I was tild by a parent about some issues on a cell txt message of some friends of gd. I checked her texts and found what the lady was referring to. I told my ad what I did and to keep it to herself, until I talked to gd. Guress what? Exactly. She went behind my back and told gd "gramma checked your txt messages" I told my ad (still claims to clean) I trusted her and she blew it. I didn't even faze her. She flipped back on me that I should not check her messages. I'm convinced she would rather be afriend to her daughter than a parent. Or she doesn't even know how.

Serenity Bound

katie, of course your D told your gd. After all, she has to make you look like the bad guy. IMO, your gd is only 14, you had every right to check on her.

Hugs,
Chris

marle

I agree. 14 is such a dangerous age for girls. The media sends them all kinds of mixed messages and there are so many predators out there. If she has a cell phone, then she needs to use it responsibly. If she can't do that, then you have every right to moniter her use. Your daughter has limited maturity due to her drug addiction. Addicts don't make good responsible choices. Next time, keep it between you and granddaughter. What her mother does not know will not hurt you. Hugs, Marle

rahsue

better safe than sorry!!
I would have checked it too.
keep up the good work

katie53

I guess what it comes down to is I messed up by telling her mom thaat I checked gd phone, Even though I told her to keep quiet about it she just couldnt do it. It's like I had 2 teens here!! One couldn't wait to tell the other one! Your right, the maturity level is just not there even though she is 35. Around her daughter and her friends she acts just like them. I don't think I can stand hearing "well, at least I'm not using" one more time. Today she is jobless, homeless, no car, no dl. and fine up the kazoo Her latest bf kicks her out every few days, so she hangs out with the xbf who was her best crack buddy for 4 yrs. I do feel the bad choices are going to catch up with her. The only difference I see from before jail, is she isn,t using, otherwise the choices and behavior are the same. There is no talking to her, as she will flip it so fast and take the focus off herself.

Freedom1990

Try digging deep and ask yourself why you felt it was important to share that with your AD.

You're doing the parenting, raising these two children she is incapable of raising.

I posted to you earlier on another thread that as long as you expect your AD to act like a normal and rational person, you're setting yourself up for frustration, anger, and disappointment.

katie53

thanks freedom, I wrote that quote down and will carry it with me. I need to be reminded that this is NOT a 35 yr. old responsible woman. My 47 yr. old sister has been using weed for 35 yrs and lots of other junk in her late teens and early twentys. When I talk to her, it's like I'm talking to a 12 yr. old who need lots of guidance.