Should I go to rehab?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,141
Should I go to rehab?
I called a couple of places this p.m. One is in FL and specializes in dual diagnosis. It seems like a far away place to go and I've never been there. I think I have to do something, but I have three pets here and this means big money to board them.
I know I only have one life, but a dear friend wrote me this p.m. saying I must do something extreme. I have been to five different rehabs and they didn't do anything for me. I am thinking maybe a dual diagnosis place could fix me.
What would you do? It costs $30K.
I know I only have one life, but a dear friend wrote me this p.m. saying I must do something extreme. I have been to five different rehabs and they didn't do anything for me. I am thinking maybe a dual diagnosis place could fix me.
What would you do? It costs $30K.
*~10 YEARS BABY~*
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 9,369
I would go, I had to go to treatment for a life long eating disorder, I wouldn't be here if I had not gone.
I went and figured out the money part later. I think if you have to ask someone else you already know the answer in your heart.
I wouldn't look at the 5 past places as not doing anything for you, go this time and put 100+100% of everything you have to get better. and see where it gets you.
Good luck to you whatever path you chose.
Love & Light ********....}}}}
I went and figured out the money part later. I think if you have to ask someone else you already know the answer in your heart.
I wouldn't look at the 5 past places as not doing anything for you, go this time and put 100+100% of everything you have to get better. and see where it gets you.
Good luck to you whatever path you chose.
Love & Light ********....}}}}
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Colorado Prairie
Posts: 1,417
I must do something extreme. I have been to five different rehabs and they didn't do anything for me.
I must do something extreme. I have been to six different rehabs and they didn't do anything for me.
What are you expecting "Them" to do for you?
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: San Francisco, CA
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what is better than thinking while walking on the beach at sunset or sunrise? here is a photo I took at the beach in San Francisco while doing just that (so basically it is freezing which is why no one is actually there)— Orlando will be so much warmer...
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: HIGHLANDS
Posts: 121
i definately would not. not for 30k not for 3k. there is too many free resources out there available. or if you have insurence they usually cover substance abuse or behavior issues.
go to AA meetings they r free local and very helpful and you can find someone you feel comfortable to talk and work with, you will be surprised. things will really start to happen for you , you will see. save your dough$$$
go to AA meetings they r free local and very helpful and you can find someone you feel comfortable to talk and work with, you will be surprised. things will really start to happen for you , you will see. save your dough$$$
I'm just a little unwell
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,219
I am going to follow what Pinkcuda and Flutter said. I think some place like that could be wonderful, but you can't go into it expecting them to "fix" you. They will teach you recovery tools, and put you in an environment that is highly conducive to helping you, but once you get out you will have to actively apply everything they taught you to your daily life. If YOU are ready and YOU are willing to do WHATEVER IT TAKES to get better, then yes, go. Don't let the money part scare you. But if you are hoping for a miracle cure, it will probably backfire on you.
I wish you the best, really.
p.s. How long of a stay would it be? If it's shorter than 90 days you might want to keep doing research.
I wish you the best, really.
p.s. How long of a stay would it be? If it's shorter than 90 days you might want to keep doing research.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
I have been to five different rehabs and they didn't do anything for me. I am thinking maybe a dual diagnosis place could fix me.
My suggestion is to set fire to $30 grand sitting in front of you because I think you will get the same results.
When I was taken to rehab, I was dying...literally.
I seized what rehab offered me because my life depended on it. (By the way, my rehab was in the middle of Kansas, in a small hospital in one wing. No frills, no fancies, no beaches to walk on, 1/10th the cost of the one you are considering.)
I too am dually diagnosed, but in order to even properly address that, I had to find a way to stay clean/sober first and foremost.
I was several years into recovery when I started work on my mental health issues.
Alcohol and drugs are the great equalizers. Either at some point we hit a bottom and become willing to surrender, become teachable, or there are the alternatives-jails, institutions, and death.
mle-sober
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Golden, CO
Posts: 1,243
What does your therapist think? Do they have any better ideas in terms of a place that is closer and more affordable? I do think a dual diagnosis unit is quite different from a regular rehab. I've been to both and definitely needed the dual diagnosis unit.
I also agree that your attitude going in can really make the difference in terms of how effective your treatment is. If you go in thinking that the program owes you something (which would be hard not to have in the back of your mind if you're wracking up a $30k bill!) you might not throw yourself as passionately into doing whatever it takes to get well. But if you go in with the mindset that you are there to help yourself and to let the program guide you and teach you tools to succeed, I think you will most definitely find yourself on the recovery journey when you leave! In my own experience, recovery has required that I keep myself humble and open.
I think you should keep looking and see if there are better options (closer, more affordable, dual diagnosis) without ruling out the one in Florida. This is a big decision and looking for the right place might take a few days.
I'm glad you are doing the research. I know it's a scary step.
I also agree that your attitude going in can really make the difference in terms of how effective your treatment is. If you go in thinking that the program owes you something (which would be hard not to have in the back of your mind if you're wracking up a $30k bill!) you might not throw yourself as passionately into doing whatever it takes to get well. But if you go in with the mindset that you are there to help yourself and to let the program guide you and teach you tools to succeed, I think you will most definitely find yourself on the recovery journey when you leave! In my own experience, recovery has required that I keep myself humble and open.
I think you should keep looking and see if there are better options (closer, more affordable, dual diagnosis) without ruling out the one in Florida. This is a big decision and looking for the right place might take a few days.
I'm glad you are doing the research. I know it's a scary step.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,141
Thanks. There seem to be varied opinions. This place in FL is going to check with my insurance and see if any of it will be covered. If it is, I'll go. I'll do anything at this point (even though they do have AA meetings in their format) to get past this at this point. Nothing is perfect.
Bottom line is that I need to find some sort of relief in sobriety. If all it's going to be about is my staying in bed, it's not going to work. Do I expect someone to fix me? Maybe. They fix my asthma with a pill, why can't I expect some advances in the arena of addiction medicine?
Bottom line is that I need to find some sort of relief in sobriety. If all it's going to be about is my staying in bed, it's not going to work. Do I expect someone to fix me? Maybe. They fix my asthma with a pill, why can't I expect some advances in the arena of addiction medicine?
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Katie, there is no pill to cure addiction.
Maybe someday there will be, but I don't expect it will be in our lifetimes.
You can do the work and you can learn to live a sober life.
Maybe someday there will be, but I don't expect it will be in our lifetimes.
You can do the work and you can learn to live a sober life.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 63
What I wouldn't give for an opportunity to go to rehab!!!
IF you go, you better make the most of it. You gotta get your head in the right place and make it work. Don't waste it THIS time. I know I wouldn't.
Edit: I have to edit this because I feel so strongly about it. If I had your opportunity I'd go and I'd do whatever they told me to do just to try. I would write essays, I'd listen to advice, I'd talk, I'd embarrass myself with any confessions I had to make, I'd cry, I'd scream if I had to, I'd sit in a corner and face the wall if they told me to... just so I could know I gave it my all and most of all because they're supposed to know what they're doing. But I'd also know I have to be honest and not hold anything back.
IF you go, you better make the most of it. You gotta get your head in the right place and make it work. Don't waste it THIS time. I know I wouldn't.
Edit: I have to edit this because I feel so strongly about it. If I had your opportunity I'd go and I'd do whatever they told me to do just to try. I would write essays, I'd listen to advice, I'd talk, I'd embarrass myself with any confessions I had to make, I'd cry, I'd scream if I had to, I'd sit in a corner and face the wall if they told me to... just so I could know I gave it my all and most of all because they're supposed to know what they're doing. But I'd also know I have to be honest and not hold anything back.
mle-sober
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Golden, CO
Posts: 1,243
Katie - Sweetie,
There are wonderful advances in the treatment of addiction and depression. Remember the stories of people locked away for their whole life due to depression or bipolar? My grandfather had a large and important piece of his brain removed in an effort to cure his bipolar.
Even the programs and medications for alcoholism have grown and advanced over the years. They actually have medications to help with the intense cravings. They help some people.
But even a diabetic has to be involved in their care and actively working to control it - testing their blood, taking their medicine. Watching their diet. They can never let their guard down.
I understand that it is hard to accept your disease and the responsibility for it. I hate hate hate hate hate that I'm an alcoholic and bipolar. I just hate it. I would do almost anything to remove those two things from my life. And I feel resentful sometimes that I have to deal with them.
And then other times, I realize that I've had some very memorable and amazing experiences in recovery that I never would have had otherwise. I've learned more about myself and I've worked hard to grown emotionally and mentally. I'm a better person. I am truly a better person because I have had to confront my diseases and grow.
I have a whole notebook of blessings - things I am grateful for - that I never would've been motivated enough to recognize if I didn't have to walk this path in recovery. That in itself is a pretty big blessing.
Hang in there and just keep putting one foot in front of the next. Just keep asking yourself - Is this the next right thing? Don't ask yourself - Is this what I want or what makes me more comfortable or what feels best. Ask is this the next right thing. And you can only go in one direction that way. Toward healing.
Hugs.
There are wonderful advances in the treatment of addiction and depression. Remember the stories of people locked away for their whole life due to depression or bipolar? My grandfather had a large and important piece of his brain removed in an effort to cure his bipolar.
Even the programs and medications for alcoholism have grown and advanced over the years. They actually have medications to help with the intense cravings. They help some people.
But even a diabetic has to be involved in their care and actively working to control it - testing their blood, taking their medicine. Watching their diet. They can never let their guard down.
I understand that it is hard to accept your disease and the responsibility for it. I hate hate hate hate hate that I'm an alcoholic and bipolar. I just hate it. I would do almost anything to remove those two things from my life. And I feel resentful sometimes that I have to deal with them.
And then other times, I realize that I've had some very memorable and amazing experiences in recovery that I never would have had otherwise. I've learned more about myself and I've worked hard to grown emotionally and mentally. I'm a better person. I am truly a better person because I have had to confront my diseases and grow.
I have a whole notebook of blessings - things I am grateful for - that I never would've been motivated enough to recognize if I didn't have to walk this path in recovery. That in itself is a pretty big blessing.
Hang in there and just keep putting one foot in front of the next. Just keep asking yourself - Is this the next right thing? Don't ask yourself - Is this what I want or what makes me more comfortable or what feels best. Ask is this the next right thing. And you can only go in one direction that way. Toward healing.
Hugs.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,141
Originally Posted by mle-sober 
What does your therapist think? Do they have any better ideas in terms of a place that is closer and more affordable? I do think a dual diagnosis unit is quite different from a regular rehab. I've been to both and definitely needed the dual diagnosis unit.
I also agree that your attitude going in can really make the difference in terms of how effective your treatment is. If you go in thinking that the program owes you something (which would be hard not to have in the back of your mind if you're wracking up a $30k bill!) you might not throw yourself as passionately into doing whatever it takes to get well. But if you go in with the mindset that you are there to help yourself and to let the program guide you and teach you tools to succeed, I think you will most definitely find yourself on the recovery journey when you leave! In my own experience, recovery has required that I keep myself humble and open.
I think you should keep looking and see if there are better options (closer, more affordable, dual diagnosis) without ruling out the one in Florida. This is a big decision and looking for the right place might take a few days.
I'm glad you are doing the research. I know it's a scary step.
I also agree that your attitude going in can really make the difference in terms of how effective your treatment is. If you go in thinking that the program owes you something (which would be hard not to have in the back of your mind if you're wracking up a $30k bill!) you might not throw yourself as passionately into doing whatever it takes to get well. But if you go in with the mindset that you are there to help yourself and to let the program guide you and teach you tools to succeed, I think you will most definitely find yourself on the recovery journey when you leave! In my own experience, recovery has required that I keep myself humble and open.
I think you should keep looking and see if there are better options (closer, more affordable, dual diagnosis) without ruling out the one in Florida. This is a big decision and looking for the right place might take a few days.
I'm glad you are doing the research. I know it's a scary step.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
As you can see, there are many opinions regarding rehab. Some had great experiences, others not so great. I went to a dual diagnosis treatment centre after I relapsed on pills - after two years sober. My insurance covered it, though, my kids were able to stay with their father, and I had a secure job. The experience in rehab was of benefit, and I worked hard and did whatever was suggested. I rested and ate well and exercised and shared in group. And as soon as I got out, I called my sponsor and went to a meeting. Recovery didn't end when I left treatment. I wasn't fixed. I still had depression and I was still an alcoholic and pill addict. I always will be.
Thanks for letting me share my experience. I truly wish you well, Katie.
Thanks for letting me share my experience. I truly wish you well, Katie.
trying to get it right
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: globe, AZ
Posts: 243
katie
you need to do what you think will benefit yourself the most! treatment centers are good, but if you've been before (like me) you know the tools to use to keep from drinking? if you are anything like me, i knew treatment (3times) AA in/out, i retained alot of knowledge from all the above.............i just never "applied" this knowledege and the tools of sobreity to my recovery !
i was very stubborn, and it cost me alot of sober years? wasted years?
it is so very hard to quit, but in the end "IT" becomes our CHOICE! we choose to drink or stay in the misery? or can we choose a plesant life full of love, hope and inspriration!
good luck to you! :praying
i was very stubborn, and it cost me alot of sober years? wasted years?
it is so very hard to quit, but in the end "IT" becomes our CHOICE! we choose to drink or stay in the misery? or can we choose a plesant life full of love, hope and inspriration!
good luck to you! :praying
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 2,126
"..I have been to five different rehabs and they didn't do anything for me. I am thinking maybe a dual diagnosis place could fix me..."
As others have said....rehabs don't 'fix' anyone; they don't get anyone sober, nor do they keep anyone sober. Rehabs don't 'do' the 'doing' you 'do' the 'doing'...you do the 'fixing'....
I didn't get sober in a rehab, but I have worked in a few; taken meetings to some. What rehabs do is insulate you, and keep you 'safe' from the temptations of the outside world (with its drugs 'n alcohol), and they give you a good solid foundation for your recovery.....Now, the hard part; I recall your reticence at going to AA; not wanting to work the steps or read the BB, or get a sponsor (what, I believe, you called the rules of AA). Well, unfortunately, most rehabs (with the exception of a very miniscule few) use AA's 12-step program format as the foundation they give you. So, if you're still dead-set against AA, then most rehabs probably wouldn't be your cup of tea.
"...Now I just talked with my friend in AA. Maybe he and I could rent a house in the Bay Area. I would be willing to go to AA up there, as it would be with people like "me." So, maybe moving back to CA is an option yet. I always belonged there and maybe that is my next move. .."
Along the same lines of my previous paragraph, I spent most of my first three months of recovery (summer/fall of 1986) in the AA rooms of the San Francisco Bay Area; actually, San Francisco itself, and I've returned from time to time (working a conference there yearly up until 1998), and I can tell you that they are the 'read the BB' 'work the steps' 'get a sponsor' type AA groups.....at least the ones I attended. In fact, most of the AA meetings I've attended across the US have mostly been that type.....and of course the good old 'get god or get drunk' ones in our wonderful bible-belt areas.....lol
I'm not trying to force you one way or the other; of course this is all up to you; just like your recovery/sobriety will be all up to you. I guess what I'm trying to get at is..........try not to go with any expectations, but with an open mind, and a willingness to go to (just about) any lengths for your recovery.
NoelleR
As others have said....rehabs don't 'fix' anyone; they don't get anyone sober, nor do they keep anyone sober. Rehabs don't 'do' the 'doing' you 'do' the 'doing'...you do the 'fixing'....
I didn't get sober in a rehab, but I have worked in a few; taken meetings to some. What rehabs do is insulate you, and keep you 'safe' from the temptations of the outside world (with its drugs 'n alcohol), and they give you a good solid foundation for your recovery.....Now, the hard part; I recall your reticence at going to AA; not wanting to work the steps or read the BB, or get a sponsor (what, I believe, you called the rules of AA). Well, unfortunately, most rehabs (with the exception of a very miniscule few) use AA's 12-step program format as the foundation they give you. So, if you're still dead-set against AA, then most rehabs probably wouldn't be your cup of tea.
"...Now I just talked with my friend in AA. Maybe he and I could rent a house in the Bay Area. I would be willing to go to AA up there, as it would be with people like "me." So, maybe moving back to CA is an option yet. I always belonged there and maybe that is my next move. .."
Along the same lines of my previous paragraph, I spent most of my first three months of recovery (summer/fall of 1986) in the AA rooms of the San Francisco Bay Area; actually, San Francisco itself, and I've returned from time to time (working a conference there yearly up until 1998), and I can tell you that they are the 'read the BB' 'work the steps' 'get a sponsor' type AA groups.....at least the ones I attended. In fact, most of the AA meetings I've attended across the US have mostly been that type.....and of course the good old 'get god or get drunk' ones in our wonderful bible-belt areas.....lol
I'm not trying to force you one way or the other; of course this is all up to you; just like your recovery/sobriety will be all up to you. I guess what I'm trying to get at is..........try not to go with any expectations, but with an open mind, and a willingness to go to (just about) any lengths for your recovery.
NoelleR
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,649
Katie wrote: I hope you succeed, with any choice you make to stop drinking and stay sober. But, I just hope you remember that alcoholism is internal. I also hoped that a change of environment would help me stop. And, sure, for a while, sunny weather, a new town, a different lifestyle did make me happier, but being an alcoholic, I simply found that I continued to drink despite the fact that I was a somewhat happier person. After all, we alcoholics drink both when we are happy and sad.
And, maybe it is true that you might find the rooms in SF to be different. But that is a big IF. You may discover that the people there are not different from the place where you are now.
I am not trying to rain on your parade, and I sincerely wish you the best of luck, but the fact remains that recovery is hard work and you will have to go through the same internal process no matter where you are. A rehab center only supports you while you do the work: as others have stressed here, the work is not done for you.
Now I just talked with my friend in AA. Maybe he and I could rent a house in the Bay Area. I would be willing to go to AA up there, as it would be with people like "me." So, maybe moving back to CA is an option yet. I always belonged there and maybe that is my next move. BTW, he has 13 years sober in AA, so I am safe.
And, maybe it is true that you might find the rooms in SF to be different. But that is a big IF. You may discover that the people there are not different from the place where you are now.
I am not trying to rain on your parade, and I sincerely wish you the best of luck, but the fact remains that recovery is hard work and you will have to go through the same internal process no matter where you are. A rehab center only supports you while you do the work: as others have stressed here, the work is not done for you.
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