jehnifer

I feel that I am being mean and selfish if I don't feel guilty for making myself happy. How sick is that?

Has anyone felt this way? How can I feel better about taking care of my own happiness whilst he's depressed, sulking, etc? I am really struggling today.

GiveLove

That's something that took me a lot of practice, jehnifer. And it's what "detachment" is all about -- recognizing that you can only control your own happiness, and are only responsible for your own happiness. He's in charge of his. Not just knowing it in your head, but really knowing it's an absolute truth.

It also helped when I started to become really sickened by living with a whiny sulker who wouldn't help himself or find better solutions. Oooh, detachment starts to come much easier then.....

Keep working on you - you will get through this.

MsPINKAcres

The most loving, healthy thing that we can do for ourselves and our loved ones is to take care of ourselves and be happy.

after all - who doesn't want to be around a Happy, Healthy person?????

If you have any of the Al-Anon books -my fav is "How Al-Anon Works for Family & Friends of Alcoholics" - Trying reading Chapter 11 - Detachment, Love and Forgiveness - it is a wonderful resource on letting us know about self-care is the best for ALL involved in our lives - whether they recognize it at first or not.

You deserve to be Happy, Joyous and Free -

Your loved ones deserve to have a Happy, Joyous and Free YOU

It's a win/win situation!!!

HUGS to you,
Rita