New to the forum and sobriety
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 38
New to the forum and sobriety
Hey all, I want to start off by saying thanks to everyone who posts here, reading your words has been a huge help over the last two days...
For the last 20 years I've been drunk more days than I've been sober, and the past six especially I've settled into quite a routine: hit the bar at 4 (I work from home), have about at least 5 beers and 3 shots, back home by 7, eat horribly and veg in front of the TV, having 'fooled' my wonderful wife (yeah, right). I could count on one hand the number of days I didn't drink last year. Six years ago I decided I needed to 'cut back', and took a full week without one drop; looking back, this was probably the first time since I was in high school in 1985 that I'd gone 7 straight days. I 'celebrated' that by going for 2-3 straight months, and had been going full-steam since then.
Two days ago I went to the dentist; as part of the routine they took my blood pressure. I haven't been to my regular doctor in just under two years, and I was shocked to learn that my blood pressure, after years of being normal, was through the roof. All the guilt and anxiety and anger and every other emotion about how much of my life I've pissed away hit me like a freight train. I can't get in to see my doctor until a week from Tuesday, and I'm absolutely terrified of what I'm going to hear.
Regardless, it's time for me to turn my life around. I've done a day from time to time, but I can't remember the last time I did two in a row, and probably haven't done three in six years. I had my last drink late Wednesday afternoon, so let's call it 48 hours right now. The physical withdrawal hasn't been that bad yet, but the urges to hit the bar are awful, and I know the hardest part is still ahead.
I've got a few short-term goals: the rest of tonight, tomorrow night (going to dinner and a basketball game with wife and some friends), Sunday night (a whole weekend for the first time in forever), Monday night (five days, hopefully the physical symptoms will be settling down), Wednesday night (one week!), Thursday night (8 days for the first time since 1985), the next Sunday (the freaking Super Bowl, probably have to watch that with just the wife), and the next Tuesday (just shy of two weeks, and the doctor's visit).
It seems dumb to lay out goals this long when it's a miracle I've made it 48 hours, but it's helping me to look at it that way. I've got to stop drinking or I'm going to die young, and my wife, friends, and family don't deserve that. Again, thanks for all the posts and info here, look forward to meeting you...
Ig
For the last 20 years I've been drunk more days than I've been sober, and the past six especially I've settled into quite a routine: hit the bar at 4 (I work from home), have about at least 5 beers and 3 shots, back home by 7, eat horribly and veg in front of the TV, having 'fooled' my wonderful wife (yeah, right). I could count on one hand the number of days I didn't drink last year. Six years ago I decided I needed to 'cut back', and took a full week without one drop; looking back, this was probably the first time since I was in high school in 1985 that I'd gone 7 straight days. I 'celebrated' that by going for 2-3 straight months, and had been going full-steam since then.
Two days ago I went to the dentist; as part of the routine they took my blood pressure. I haven't been to my regular doctor in just under two years, and I was shocked to learn that my blood pressure, after years of being normal, was through the roof. All the guilt and anxiety and anger and every other emotion about how much of my life I've pissed away hit me like a freight train. I can't get in to see my doctor until a week from Tuesday, and I'm absolutely terrified of what I'm going to hear.
Regardless, it's time for me to turn my life around. I've done a day from time to time, but I can't remember the last time I did two in a row, and probably haven't done three in six years. I had my last drink late Wednesday afternoon, so let's call it 48 hours right now. The physical withdrawal hasn't been that bad yet, but the urges to hit the bar are awful, and I know the hardest part is still ahead.
I've got a few short-term goals: the rest of tonight, tomorrow night (going to dinner and a basketball game with wife and some friends), Sunday night (a whole weekend for the first time in forever), Monday night (five days, hopefully the physical symptoms will be settling down), Wednesday night (one week!), Thursday night (8 days for the first time since 1985), the next Sunday (the freaking Super Bowl, probably have to watch that with just the wife), and the next Tuesday (just shy of two weeks, and the doctor's visit).
It seems dumb to lay out goals this long when it's a miracle I've made it 48 hours, but it's helping me to look at it that way. I've got to stop drinking or I'm going to die young, and my wife, friends, and family don't deserve that. Again, thanks for all the posts and info here, look forward to meeting you...
Ig
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,513
I think it's a great idea to set out goals the way you are. It can help you to stay focused and to decide what activities are going to work for you or not. I found that planning ahead, really helped me a lot in the early days.
As for your health, just take a deep breath and know that you are here today and you're sober. That's all any of us have. When I began to recover, I spent a lot of time focusing on the negative stuff I had done to my body and I found it just ended up taking me to a dark place, where frankly I couldn't afford to go. We are here, we have the moment.
As for your health, just take a deep breath and know that you are here today and you're sober. That's all any of us have. When I began to recover, I spent a lot of time focusing on the negative stuff I had done to my body and I found it just ended up taking me to a dark place, where frankly I couldn't afford to go. We are here, we have the moment.
It's time to change!
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: lake tahoe
Posts: 1,025
Hi Iggy and Welcome! 
Glad you are here! Yeah, it's a "sobering" reality when the doctors tell us what's up! Just know this though, although I understand unnerving right now... the longer you stay sober, the better health you're going to have, naturally! It's a good thing getting checked out early on because you will end up getting the direction to help you physically. I encourage you to be open and honest with the doc so he has a good knowledge of your history!
I was getting a little floored by your short term goals... I understand though. For me, I really try to stay in TODAY and not project too much into the future. Some things, we have to, but for me personally - I get too wrapped up in having "time" and when I'm going to turn 30 days, etc (2 wks) and get in a tail spin. We are all different and have different approaches to sobriety. Just want to throw out a little caution about the tomorrows.
So glad you are here and found us. I'm pulling for you with 8 days here and need you as much as you need us!
Hugs, :ghug2
Glad you are here! Yeah, it's a "sobering" reality when the doctors tell us what's up! Just know this though, although I understand unnerving right now... the longer you stay sober, the better health you're going to have, naturally! It's a good thing getting checked out early on because you will end up getting the direction to help you physically. I encourage you to be open and honest with the doc so he has a good knowledge of your history!
I was getting a little floored by your short term goals... I understand though. For me, I really try to stay in TODAY and not project too much into the future. Some things, we have to, but for me personally - I get too wrapped up in having "time" and when I'm going to turn 30 days, etc (2 wks) and get in a tail spin. We are all different and have different approaches to sobriety. Just want to throw out a little caution about the tomorrows.
So glad you are here and found us. I'm pulling for you with 8 days here and need you as much as you need us!
Hugs, :ghug2
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 176
Iggy1966:
Welcome to SR and for sharing your story! I do believe you have reached your moment of "clarity." Congrats on two days. That is an incredible start. Keep reading and keep posting! Have you considered going to AA or other support group? However you choose to recover, just keep it up!
Welcome to SR and for sharing your story! I do believe you have reached your moment of "clarity." Congrats on two days. That is an incredible start. Keep reading and keep posting! Have you considered going to AA or other support group? However you choose to recover, just keep it up!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
Welcome Iggy!:ghug3 I'm impressed by the goals you've set for yourself. Do be sure to eat good food, drink lots of water and juice, and take vitamin B. It's easiest for me to stay sober one day at a time. I was a chronic relapser and if I can stay sober, so can you! Again, welcome to a great place for support and understanding. I'm glad you found us!
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Welcome to the SR family Iggy!
I like your plans for your sober future! I am a planner and it has helped me to follow the advice given here on SR and have a plan for my first sober days to avoid my trigger (happy hour). That plan was to change my daily routines. Not be anywhere, including home, where alcohol was available during happy hour (5:00 most days). It helped me get through those first days.
I also have a plan when I am around groups where there will be drinking. I keep something non-alcoholic in my hand and have my car to leave when I have had enough fun.
Make yourself at home and read and post as you need.
I like your plans for your sober future! I am a planner and it has helped me to follow the advice given here on SR and have a plan for my first sober days to avoid my trigger (happy hour). That plan was to change my daily routines. Not be anywhere, including home, where alcohol was available during happy hour (5:00 most days). It helped me get through those first days.
I also have a plan when I am around groups where there will be drinking. I keep something non-alcoholic in my hand and have my car to leave when I have had enough fun.
Make yourself at home and read and post as you need.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 38
Thanks to everyone, you don't know (actually, you probably do) how much this is helping...I'm still in the 'fog' right now, but I get patches of clear sky where I get excited about the future, which I haven't done in awhile...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,385
Ig,
In order to maintain your sobriety please come back to SR each day for about an hour or so. Post and read a lot. Eventually you will get some friend requests and begin to develop some good relationships with people. I am happy for you. Welcome to this journey named sobriety. Send me a PM if you ever need to.
Ken
In order to maintain your sobriety please come back to SR each day for about an hour or so. Post and read a lot. Eventually you will get some friend requests and begin to develop some good relationships with people. I am happy for you. Welcome to this journey named sobriety. Send me a PM if you ever need to.
Ken
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Congratulations on your decision Iggy. It's very hard, but so worth it, and you know in the end it really wasn't fun or relaxing anymore, right? That's the conclusion I came to finally. It only took 25 years. Anyways, I hope you're being careful during your withdrawal. It seems that the worse is over, though. My blood pressure was very high, too, and I've managed to get it down over this past year of no drinking, plus losing some weight. Amazing what a 30-pack a day will do to one's figure.....It's great you found SR, these people have helped keep me sober when nothing else worked. Sending love and hope your way.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 38
Originally Posted by KenL 
Ig,
In order to maintain your sobriety please come back to SR each day for about an hour or so. Post and read a lot. Eventually you will get some friend requests and begin to develop some good relationships with people. I am happy for you. Welcome to this journey named sobriety. Send me a PM if you ever need to.
Ken
In order to maintain your sobriety please come back to SR each day for about an hour or so. Post and read a lot. Eventually you will get some friend requests and begin to develop some good relationships with people. I am happy for you. Welcome to this journey named sobriety. Send me a PM if you ever need to.
Ken
51 hours...
....Welcome!
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