kdudley3

I don't know how to do this. My husband has finally had enough of me...but when I ask for help he just keeps knocking me down. I've begged him and he will not help me. How do I save myself?

Katie09

Well, we cannot control others, only what we do and think. Coming here is a great first step! Welcome and please share more about your story if you care to.

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

I do remember how alone I felt, when I knew that I had to stop drinking.

Sobriety is something you need to do yourself, for yourself. If you have your husband's support, that's great, but if not, that's okay too.

If your husband is abusive to you, then I hope that you rethink your relationship. Focus on yourself and your sobriety and you'll be fine.

grateful2b

Welcome to Sober Recovery, kdudley3
I am glad you are here
there are stickies at the top of the page, and there will be people along presently who can share their stories with you

kdudley3

I don't know how to think about myself...I haven't done it for so long. I guess I gave myself up for my family and don't know how to get myself back.

Anna

I did the same thing.

I thought I should give everything, all the time, to my family. I was so wrong, because in the end, there was nothing left of me. I had to find the core of myself, my soul and begin to recover.

Fubarcdn

A warm welcome K. We are here to offer any support we can. Sometimes just reading other people's posts and vhallenges will help you get through the rough spots. You obviously have the courage to do this on your own if you have to. Good luck.

ToABetterMe

Oh honey!! So many people are here with you! I am very new to this site! I would be happy to talk to you when ever. I am struggleing with the same stuff! My hubby bitches because I drink to much, but he drinks almost daily.

kdudley3

Thank you all...it's very difficult for me to do this...thank you for your support

masseyman

I agree with Katie09, the only person we can control is ourselves. Easy to say...hard to do.

Be strong and live.

This is a place to begin, I can feel it.

Hang in there.

ToABetterMe

I know what I keep saying to myself, is that I need to make my kids mom well. They deserve a healthy mom. They would never forgive me if something happened to me, and they ended up with just their dad.

I lived through a bad end over end car accident. Not sure why I lived. I got a DUI & luckily did not hit anyone else. I am very ashamed, and decided my kids deserved another shot at a good mom.

YOUR KIDS DO TOO!!!

kdudley3

Here's my story

I've been married for 22 years.I used to model...self confident and strong.

My husband has mentally abused me. I really didn't realize until it was too late. He learned from his father.

I'm trying to fight back but he says such hurtful things.

The last straw was finding out that he told everyone. I thought that we didn't air our dirty laundry.

He broke my heart and tells me to quit crying.

I've given this man and my family everything and now that I need help he won't stand by me...if I faulter he beats me down instead of picking me up.

OK I guess that's enough of a sob story.

ToABetterMe

It will help to keep talking about it. THere are so many great people here, in different stages of recovery. Use their knowledge, and everyones genuine concern & love to help build you up. We're all in this together. God Bless!

kdudley3

I am so glad that you didn't hurt yourself or others.

I understand the shame...I have it too.

I think I hit rock bottom.

masseyman

I think this is a place to tell our stories.

I am truly sorry your husband doesn't care for you as he should. I cannot empathize, but I do know there are people that care about your pain. I do, and I think alot of people on this site do.

Behind the computer screen are folks like you and me, real people that struggle, hurt, love, laugh, cry and care.

I've only posted a few times here, but I know there are folks here that want to listen to your story.

kdudley3

Thank you!

nickishine

Hi Kdudley and welcome!

I agree with all the earlier posts! Just remember, coming here and reading and reaching is a huge first step for you! We've been or are currently going through so many similar circumstances as you, Hon! It helps to know that there are truly those here who relate, understand and can sympathize/empathize to your plight right now!

I used to model too. I haven't gone through the marriage thing except for a minute a few years back. I raised my kids as a single parent and had one long term relationship through there later adolescents -- who really wanted me to be his "trophy wife". I haven't seen him since 06, but he was in Tahoe this last weekend and still pursues something that is long gone.

Enough about me, blah blah blah.... The underlying thing here on this forum is one alcoholic/addict helping another alcoholic/addict. That's what it's all about as we just can't do this thing called "life" and "sobriety" alone, friend! This is a great new start for you and you'll meet lots of new friends and get tons of support from those who can relate directly to you! Thanks for posting! I need you here!

Hugs!!! :ghug3

least

Welcome kdudley! I'm also sorry your husband is so critical and mean. If you want to get sober for your own good then do it for yourself, never mind him. We are here to support you. I'm glad you found us. Just stay sober for today. And tomorrow, when it becomes today, just stay sober for today. Do it one day at a time and you can make it.

:ghug3

Eclipse

This is so me. I cry at night thinking about what I am doing to my kids...I have been hiding it, but it takes so much energy to drink and hide it.


We just need to STOP and FIGURE IT OUT.

Jomey

Hey K - Welcome to SR! I am sorry, too, that you are not getting the support you would like from your husband, but we are here for you...sorry, I am rushing a bit and only skimmed most of the replies, so if this is a repeat, I apologize....you will also find a lot of face to face support in AA if you think it might be something you'd like to try. I understand the difficulty of putting yourself first after many years of putting family first, and the steps of AA are a good way to learn to set boundaries, and learn to live again, sober.

Good luck! Keep posting!