Language of Letting Go - Jan 10 - Fear
Nature Girl
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Language of Letting Go - Jan 10 - Fear
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Fear
Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. What if they are a little coarse, and. you may get your coat soiled or torn? What if you do fail, and get fairly rolled in the dirt once or twice? Up again; you shall never be so afraid of a tumble.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
Fear can be a big stopper for many of us: fear of fragility, fear of failure, fear of making a mistake, fear of what others might think, fear of success. We may second-guess our next action or word until we talk ourselves out of participating in life.
"But I failed before!" "I can't do it good enough!" "Look at what happened last time!" "What if.. .?" These statements may disguise fear. Sometimes the fear is disguising shame.
After I finished the first two chapters of a book I was writing, I read them and grimaced. "No good," I thought. "Can't do it." I was ready to pitch the chapters, and my writing career, out the window. A writer friend called, and I told her about my problem. She listened and told me: "those chapters are fine. Stop being afraid. Stop criticizing yourself. And keep on writing."
I followed her advice. The book I almost threw away became a New York Times best seller.
Relax. Our best is good enough. It may be better than we think. Even our failures may turn out to be important learning experiences that lead directly to - and are necessary for - an upcoming success.
Feel the fear, and then let it go. Jump in and do it - whatever it is. If our instincts and path have led us there, it's where we need to be.
Today, I will participate in life to the best of my ability. Regardless of the outcome, that makes me a winner.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Fear
Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. What if they are a little coarse, and. you may get your coat soiled or torn? What if you do fail, and get fairly rolled in the dirt once or twice? Up again; you shall never be so afraid of a tumble.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
Fear can be a big stopper for many of us: fear of fragility, fear of failure, fear of making a mistake, fear of what others might think, fear of success. We may second-guess our next action or word until we talk ourselves out of participating in life.
"But I failed before!" "I can't do it good enough!" "Look at what happened last time!" "What if.. .?" These statements may disguise fear. Sometimes the fear is disguising shame.
After I finished the first two chapters of a book I was writing, I read them and grimaced. "No good," I thought. "Can't do it." I was ready to pitch the chapters, and my writing career, out the window. A writer friend called, and I told her about my problem. She listened and told me: "those chapters are fine. Stop being afraid. Stop criticizing yourself. And keep on writing."
I followed her advice. The book I almost threw away became a New York Times best seller.
Relax. Our best is good enough. It may be better than we think. Even our failures may turn out to be important learning experiences that lead directly to - and are necessary for - an upcoming success.
Feel the fear, and then let it go. Jump in and do it - whatever it is. If our instincts and path have led us there, it's where we need to be.
Today, I will participate in life to the best of my ability. Regardless of the outcome, that makes me a winner.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Feel the fear, and then let it go. Jump in and do it - whatever it is. If our instincts and path have led us there, it's where we need to be.
Today, when I feel fear creeping in, I picture God sitting beside me with His arm around me, ready to take over. It helps me stay on a good path and live a life free from fear, panic, and anxiety.
It also helps me to keep trying, to keep going in faith, sometimes in blind faith but in faith nonetheless.
Melody Beattie, author of Language of Letting Go, refers to her first book in this reading today. She was turned down by 10 publishers before Hazelden decided that she had something good and agreed to publish her. That book was Codependent No More, one we recommend reading here and one that has been a best-seller since it was published about 20 years ago. She didn't let fear stop her, she didn't give up. She kept hope in her heart and kept trying in blind faith that someone somewhere would publish her and they did.
Never give up. Know that God will lead you to where you are supposed to go.
Hugs
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,555
When my child was fighting for her life with cancer many years ago, I would wake up every morning and be in the grips of the fear of losing her.
The fear was relentless and I knew I needed to get past it somehow so that I could function and do what I need to do that day for my child.
I learned a lot about fear all those years ago. I learned that what we are usually afraid of is fear itself. And it is the unknown we fear, if we do not examine what it is that we are afraid of.
When I am faced with fear now, I ask myself what is it that I am afraid of? What can or will I do if the thing that I fear occurs? Will I survive?
The answer to that last question , so far, has always been yes
Armed with that information, I am able to go ahead and push through the fear and do what I need to do, knowing I "will" survive...... Grateful
The fear was relentless and I knew I needed to get past it somehow so that I could function and do what I need to do that day for my child.
I learned a lot about fear all those years ago. I learned that what we are usually afraid of is fear itself. And it is the unknown we fear, if we do not examine what it is that we are afraid of.
When I am faced with fear now, I ask myself what is it that I am afraid of? What can or will I do if the thing that I fear occurs? Will I survive?
The answer to that last question , so far, has always been yes
Armed with that information, I am able to go ahead and push through the fear and do what I need to do, knowing I "will" survive...... Grateful
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 1,221
I just started reading Codependent no more again, and so glad I did. I have been feeling fear for my daughter, I am handing her over to God and let him take care of her. I know when I trust God to take care of things, then I will have peace...
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Thank you, Ann!
I've been so afraid waiting for the end of 30 days of the eviction process for the AS of my BF....I'm afraid of what will happen to this young man, I'm afraid of the drama, verbal abuse, or worse that may happen on that day. All of the what if's lead me into a world of scenarios that have not even happened....may not even happen.
So, I'm trying to just live 1 hour at time.
Right now, the A is alive.
Right now, he is not screaming or threatening anyone.
Right now, I am safely at work (yeah...it's Saturday....I know, but I've lost a lot of time because of the A).
Right now, there is gas in my tank, food in my fridge, and the rent is paid.
It's an OK day all-in-all!
Thank you all!
HG
I've been so afraid waiting for the end of 30 days of the eviction process for the AS of my BF....I'm afraid of what will happen to this young man, I'm afraid of the drama, verbal abuse, or worse that may happen on that day. All of the what if's lead me into a world of scenarios that have not even happened....may not even happen.
So, I'm trying to just live 1 hour at time.
Right now, the A is alive.
Right now, he is not screaming or threatening anyone.
Right now, I am safely at work (yeah...it's Saturday....I know, but I've lost a lot of time because of the A).
Right now, there is gas in my tank, food in my fridge, and the rent is paid.
It's an OK day all-in-all!
Thank you all!
HG
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