TakingCharge999

Here I am having Chips Ahoy! for my Christmas Dinner after being on a call for 5 hours here at work. Officially 13 hours on my seat and no hope of going home to my mom and some dinner (soup, she tells me) while my ex is at his new girlfriend's party forgetting allllllllllllll there was about me and our special moments, we spent most of this year together

I wanted to share something with you, we would like to see them pay, and understand all the HELL they have put us through...

But what if in a past life we were the violent alcoholics and they were the poor woman suffering it all? Perhaps THIS is how God is bringing justice!! and now we have to understand how it felt being on the other side. Maybe justice is already being served... well.. if you believe in reincarnations...

Damn, I think I am getting better until I see him, hear him talking, quacking, laughing and with aaaaaaaaaaaall his beloved coworkers. I always have the SR webpage at work to remind me !! Thank you to everyone here, you guys rock!

prodigal

I'm spending my Christmas Eve alone and don't mind it one bit. Have XM/Serius channel "Holly" playing nonstop Christmas tunes.

Cooking some shellfish.

And I don't care if my AH pays for the insanity he put me through or not. The living he!! he's going through in the end-stages of his addiction is payback enough. The man rarely eats. He is skin-and-bones. He vomits a lot. He has diarrhea. He's got the shakes.

I get no pleasure from it. I get no pain from it. I feel sorrow for a wasted life. I know how you feel, Dreamer - I was as mad as a hornet for about two years. I mean, murderously mad. On a very rare occasion, I still get that old feeling.

But it's fleeting. I don't expect someone who cannot comprehend his own helllish issues to even have a clue about mine. What he put me through? I stayed and allowed him to do it.

Have a wonderful Christmas. Be happy. You are worthy of love and respect. Until the right guy comes along to give you all that you need and more, lavish yourself with love and respect - you deserve it!

TakingCharge999

Hi prodigal!!
Yes indeed, one thing is to enjoy being alone, and the other one is feeling lonely even with people around you.
My call has lasted 7 hours and probably will take a few more

I am not sure how much time I will be in my anger stage... so I am very sorry I keep saying the same stuff. Hopefully I will get to the point you are at. Man am I learning to let go. I cling and then I cling some more. I feel that in letting this man go, I will be able to let go of anyone else. It was all very very quick and I loved him very much. One day we were planning our whole lives together and the other I have to accept he forgot about me, about it all and is already showing off the new girlfriend while I have to listen to him and see him and meet him everyday as we work together and no one is leaving any time soon.

It just sucks to be me right now. Sorry for the anger/victim venting.

Thanks for your post! and for showing me the place I would like to be in exists and is closer. I just need to make a greater effort.

Still Waters

It doesn't suck to be you Dreamer, you're on the upswing remember? You are beginning a new adventure with the wisdom you have gained (painfully, yes). Just think what wonderful things await you, the new, confident, wise, and peaceful Dreamer.

And never forget that you are truly blessed because you can walk away from it, he can't. It's human nature to want vindication, but in the end he walks a path of living hell I wouldn't wish on my greatest enemy.

Merry Christmas Dreamer, and a Blessed New Year to you. *hugs*

AllCheese

Wow, feel like I'm in a parallel universe or something...going through almost the exact same thing - only I just finished off a bag of Famous Amos. I've been on the S/R boards reading & learning, and this is my first post (just joined today). Went through a DEVASTATING break-up w/ABF 7 weeks ago, after being together for 9 years. Yes, already has a new gf he's showing off, and introducing to our young sons. I'm alternating through the various stages of grief, but probably won't be settled down, mentally, any time soon. Trying to stay strong for the kids, though, and Put One Foot In Front Of the Other, Every Day...thanks for reading.

TakingCharge999

Hi Kalizmidan!

Yes it is creepy how we have all lived the same story, with variations, but the same story all the way..

Ouch, I am sorry you are living the same rollercoaster but someone else helped me a lot here saying "do not compare your insides with his outsides"... wow I am just dreading the moment I see both together. At least that thought helps me stay away from bar and drinks... for the moment.

I am glad you are posting. Welcome to SR, if you wish you can start your own thread so we can get to know you better.

Hope year 2009 brings us peace and wisdom!
And thank you Still Waters for your kind words, and everybody else.