Divorce Hearing ...

Old 12-23-2008, 06:26 PM
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Divorce Hearing ...

The continuing saga of my divorce came to an end today. It was a very un-dramatic end to an almost year of anger, frustration . . . and recovery. The OLD me would have been worried and nervous. There was a fair amount of anger and frustration; as even 5 minutes before we went into the courtroom we had to haggle over a $500 item. I admit that the Ex and his attorney pushed my buttons . . . . BUT, it is the LAST time I will get drawin into argue with him (about money anyway). It is done!

What I notice more is this new feeling inside me. It didn't start today, but a few days ago. I'm not sure what it is, but I know what it is not. It is not worry, it is not desperation, it is not self-pity, it is not sadness, it is not even anger. Is it serenity? When I was married and even in the year we have been separated I have felt very lonely. Advice that is given on this board (and elsewhere) is often to "call a friend". And I would think -- easy for you to say, but WHO. I couldn't think of a single person I would be comfortable calling, I would just be a bother. All I have to talk about is problems; and who wants to hear me talk about my problems.

Today, I had calls from several friends wondering how the hearing went. I called a couple other people after, just because I felt like picking up the phone and talking to them. They seemed glad to hear from me -- and I didn't just talk about my problems. Wow, I don't remember feeling like this for years. Comfortable in my own skin; confident in relating to other people, able to BE a friend to others.

That's what living with an alcoholic took away from me. I no longer dread the weekend and feel a need to force plans just so I have something to do. Finally a feeling of peace the I CAN trust my HP. I have been lucky that I have not had to worry about my health, or money, or having a job or a place to live or food to eat. But I never really thought that my HP would truly provide me with friends. I know now that I could pick up the phone and connect with any number of people, and knowing that makes me finally feel comfortable being alone.
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Old 12-23-2008, 07:00 PM
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((GiveLove stands on her chair and applauds nowinsituation))

All of your hard work has paid off, lady.

Way to go!!!

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Old 12-23-2008, 07:13 PM
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WOW!! You have inspired me tonight and given me hope. Thank you so much for sharing.

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Old 12-23-2008, 08:10 PM
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a truly inspiring share. thanks.....i needed it!!!!
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Old 12-23-2008, 08:31 PM
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Congratulations! I hope that feeling keeps growing and filling your life with the joy you deserve.
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Old 12-24-2008, 02:28 AM
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Thank you for the inspiring post! I want to be like that too!!!

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Old 12-25-2008, 03:21 PM
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Congratulations!!! That was very inspiring to me, too, as I am about to embark on a months-long court battle w/my XABF who doesn't get that he needs to pay child support.
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