In a tailspin
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: MO
Posts: 743
In a tailspin
The 2 weeks of sobriety *sarcam intended* ended and the anger is back. I told myself over and over I wouldn't "get my hopes up". I tried so hard to detach and not let his use of/abstinance from alcohol affect me. I believed that when it ended I would have no feelings either way.....but the truth is, I do feel let down.
I know it's useless to even try to figure it out. We were talking more, enjoying our time together, having family dinners again. Then tonight....bam, I come home to an angry, bitter man who obviously spent most of his day with his true love.
He has been downstairs on the computer listening to REO "I Can't Stop This Feeling" over and over for the last 3 hours. It is all I can do to breath. The pain is heavy in the air. I kept telling myself I wanted to get through the holidays and my dad's terminal illness before I made any changes. This is not how I want to live. This is not how I want my children to live. We deserve a peaceful, joy-filled home. Thanks for listening.
I know it's useless to even try to figure it out. We were talking more, enjoying our time together, having family dinners again. Then tonight....bam, I come home to an angry, bitter man who obviously spent most of his day with his true love.
He has been downstairs on the computer listening to REO "I Can't Stop This Feeling" over and over for the last 3 hours. It is all I can do to breath. The pain is heavy in the air. I kept telling myself I wanted to get through the holidays and my dad's terminal illness before I made any changes. This is not how I want to live. This is not how I want my children to live. We deserve a peaceful, joy-filled home. Thanks for listening.
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Northern KY
Posts: 168
I know what that heaviness in the air feels like. It's horrible. I've felt that thickness for the past month. I felt it when I told my family that my AH decided he wouldn't go to their Christmas. I feel it now as he sleeps in the chair while I type.
Sux
Sux
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
((((blessed)))))
I'm so sorry. I'm hoping - thinking - praying that it will be a little easier for you to breathe in the morning after you've had a reasonable night's sleep. Do you have anything nice like chamomile or melatonin in the house to help you get some good rest naturally? I hate that he's let you down but...tomorrow will come and it's better if you're facing it as strong as you can muster. Hang in there.
I'm so sorry. I'm hoping - thinking - praying that it will be a little easier for you to breathe in the morning after you've had a reasonable night's sleep. Do you have anything nice like chamomile or melatonin in the house to help you get some good rest naturally? I hate that he's let you down but...tomorrow will come and it's better if you're facing it as strong as you can muster. Hang in there.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: MO
Posts: 743
Originally Posted by GiveLove 
Do you have anything nice like chamomile or melatonin in the house to help you get some good rest naturally?
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
blessed, so sorry this is going on in your life. if i could guess right, i'd guess that you are now wondering what tomorrow will bring and all the stress from who is going to speak first, and what will be said.
in my case, i learned there was no fighting the bottle. or even reasoning with it.
hope you get a good nights sleep.
many prayers going up for you ((((((blessed)))))
in my case, i learned there was no fighting the bottle. or even reasoning with it.
hope you get a good nights sleep.
many prayers going up for you ((((((blessed)))))
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: pa
Posts: 90
Originally Posted by blessed4x
I am feeling better this morning..........but God help the next person that has "I Can't Stop This Feeling Any Longer" on their ring tone, LOL!
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
Originally Posted by blessed4x
I am feeling better this morning..........but God help the next person that has "I Can't Stop This Feeling Any Longer" on their ring tone, LOL!
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 598
Thinking of You............
Hi there! I have not been on lately. Parents are extremely ill. Very draining. I was sad to read this and to see you are sad! I wish I had a magic answer for you - I have spent too many holidays alone - while AH binged and listened to music. So far - things are ok here- AH is sober 30 days and much nicer for now. It is scary and confusing though as I know ANGRY MAN is in there and I am afraid he may come back. Love those kids- hug that fur ball- dig deep in you for your peace and the love you deserve. You are a wonderful Mom and Woman! Much peace to you this Holiday Season!
Yield beautiful changes
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: A home filled with love
Posts: 1,699
Thinking of you today, blessed.
When people used to suggest to me that I "sleep on it" and see how things looked in the morning, I always rolled my eyes.
Now I know that sleep/time clears away the craziness and helps show me the truth.
I've had hurtful, awful evenings that felt unbearable - but I survived, even had a pleasant day after.
When the pain lasted through the night, when the resolve strengthened as I slept, and when the morning brought a definite "this is it," I knew it was time for me to take action. There was no mistaking my breaking point.
A very merry Christmas to you and yours, blessed. Everything will be alright.
-TC
When people used to suggest to me that I "sleep on it" and see how things looked in the morning, I always rolled my eyes.
Now I know that sleep/time clears away the craziness and helps show me the truth.
I've had hurtful, awful evenings that felt unbearable - but I survived, even had a pleasant day after.
When the pain lasted through the night, when the resolve strengthened as I slept, and when the morning brought a definite "this is it," I knew it was time for me to take action. There was no mistaking my breaking point.
A very merry Christmas to you and yours, blessed. Everything will be alright.
-TC
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