Oooooh, I am MAD right now. But I don't *do* mad.
On the road of happy destiny
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: OHIO
Posts: 210
Oooooh, I am MAD right now. But I don't *do* mad.
When I get mad, I drink. But I'm not drinking anymore. Well, actually, I'm drinking Diet Coke even though I don't really need the caffeine at 9pm because I was physically thirsty and emotionally, I really needed to crack open something.
I'm mad at a chick at work. It's just your run-of-the-mill stuff... this wasn't my best friend since kindergarten or anything but we were close work friends and I just discovered she's been throwing me under the bus. I'm at home now and I'm still mad. Mad mad mad mad mad.
I don't do mad. I avoid mad. I bury mad. When I found out my ex-husband was cheating on me, I didn't get mad. I did, however, get drunk. Ridiculously drunk, actually. I am really good at getting drunk and avoiding mad. Drunk was so much better to me than mad, you see. But now drunk is not an option and this stupid Diet Coke is not helping at all. I don't know how to get comfortable in my skin right now. I want to rip someone's head off. I don't like this. I can't even bury it for a few days until I can drink. I can't drink to solve this problem because that's not an option anymore. But that was my only approach... Drink until you forget or until you make enough of an ass of yourself that you have a new problem to be ashamed of. Just don't stay mad. Nice girls like me don't get mad, you know. That wouldn't be classy. (Like drinking a 12-pack on a Tuesday was real classy, huh?)
How do you deal with strong emotions now that you're sober???
ETA -- shoot, I just realized that I meant to put this in the newcomers forum. I have no clue how to move it, sorry!
I'm mad at a chick at work. It's just your run-of-the-mill stuff... this wasn't my best friend since kindergarten or anything but we were close work friends and I just discovered she's been throwing me under the bus. I'm at home now and I'm still mad. Mad mad mad mad mad.
I don't do mad. I avoid mad. I bury mad. When I found out my ex-husband was cheating on me, I didn't get mad. I did, however, get drunk. Ridiculously drunk, actually. I am really good at getting drunk and avoiding mad. Drunk was so much better to me than mad, you see. But now drunk is not an option and this stupid Diet Coke is not helping at all. I don't know how to get comfortable in my skin right now. I want to rip someone's head off. I don't like this. I can't even bury it for a few days until I can drink. I can't drink to solve this problem because that's not an option anymore. But that was my only approach... Drink until you forget or until you make enough of an ass of yourself that you have a new problem to be ashamed of. Just don't stay mad. Nice girls like me don't get mad, you know. That wouldn't be classy. (Like drinking a 12-pack on a Tuesday was real classy, huh?)
How do you deal with strong emotions now that you're sober???
ETA -- shoot, I just realized that I meant to put this in the newcomers forum. I have no clue how to move it, sorry!
Last edited by StrongBird; 12-18-2008 at 06:30 PM. Reason: wrong spot
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I'll move it for you....
About being mad....try a bubble bath with music you like.
Write a letter about why your upset ...then cut it up.
Prayer helps me immensley.
I'm proud that your not going to drink tonight.
That's progress...
About being mad....try a bubble bath with music you like.
Write a letter about why your upset ...then cut it up.
Prayer helps me immensley.
I'm proud that your not going to drink tonight.
That's progress...
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Hi Strongbird,
So, this is an opportunity for you to learn how to deal with anger.
I find that listening to music really helps change my mood.
Try to find something that gives you some peace for a few minutes.
So, this is an opportunity for you to learn how to deal with anger.
I find that listening to music really helps change my mood.
Try to find something that gives you some peace for a few minutes.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
Wow! You are really doing good. We "have to" feel the emotions now. Its not easy, but its better then what we did before. I try to exercise when I get made. I get on the treadmill and take my anger out in a fast walk/run for awhile. Do something physical I would offer up to you. Sorry you are going through this, but somedays suck! Exercise then bubble bath and definitely prayer if you can. Turning it over helps me. (((Strongbird))) Do you have a ****** doll? Just kidding.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,782
Never be sorry to let out such strong feelings. Better to let them out than to let them fester inside you until they do damage. You have every right to feel mad, but I'm glad you're not drinking over it. The 'mad' will go away, the shame from drinking, not so easily. You made the good choice - to vent here instead of drinking. Good for you!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Bartlesville, OK
Posts: 59
I feel your pain...............Lucky for me (I Guess) I haven't been faced with any major drama or uncontrolable anger since I've been sober.
I know it's late but what I'd recommend is calling a good friend or relative and venting or doing something physical (within reason) to get your mind off of this.
I was laid off from a job 4 months ago over some complete BS and before I could even make it home I had a bottle of vodka in hand taking shots as I was pulling into my driveway. I ended up calling my ex-boss about 1hr later and calling him every name in the book............he called the agency that I got the job through and told them what I had done. My rep is completely ruined because I live in a small town and my job opportunities have diminished.
Luckily I've found good work since then and am doing well for myself.......................good luck and make wise decisions
I know it's late but what I'd recommend is calling a good friend or relative and venting or doing something physical (within reason) to get your mind off of this.
I was laid off from a job 4 months ago over some complete BS and before I could even make it home I had a bottle of vodka in hand taking shots as I was pulling into my driveway. I ended up calling my ex-boss about 1hr later and calling him every name in the book............he called the agency that I got the job through and told them what I had done. My rep is completely ruined because I live in a small town and my job opportunities have diminished.
Luckily I've found good work since then and am doing well for myself.......................good luck and make wise decisions
On the road of happy destiny
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: OHIO
Posts: 210
It was helpful just to vent here. I also called a friend to vent, too. I'm still mad but a little less mad. I'm glad tomorrow is Friday and we're almost at the weekend. I'll be fuming and giving her the cold shoulder tomorrow but at least I won't be hungover while doing it. LOL!
6/20/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,467
Dealing with emotion while sober is so.....jeez, I can't even describe it. It's like learning how to feel again, if that makes sense.
I think the knee jerk reaction is to drink, because that's just what we do. But after that urge leaves and you start to deal with life, I think that's when the 'real' sobriety hits.
It's easy to be sober when nothing is rocking your world. Okay, Relatively easy!
Also.....writing here is Great help, to me. Good luck! Let us know how your tomorrow goes.
I think the knee jerk reaction is to drink, because that's just what we do. But after that urge leaves and you start to deal with life, I think that's when the 'real' sobriety hits.
It's easy to be sober when nothing is rocking your world. Okay, Relatively easy!
Also.....writing here is Great help, to me. Good luck! Let us know how your tomorrow goes.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 9
It is dificult to say what to do with your friend. Sometimes when people do things like this it is just best to let it go or it will get another bunch of drama going. It is amazing how being sober and drunk can be one in the same sometimes. For example, if you lash out at her for this then it creates a bunch of dama. If you go get drunk and make an ass of yourself - it creates a bunch of drama. Why harm yourself more?
You should be mad and good for you for venting here.
You should be mad and good for you for venting here.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Highlands, TX
Posts: 1,192
Hi there,
I can really empathize with you. I don't "do" mad either. Even at 4.5 years sober I still don't "do" mad very well although a little better than before. I think the fact that you didn't drink over it and you shared it here and with a friend is fantastic because those were some of the things I was going to suggest when I read your initial post.
I have a sponsee who is much like you and I in that regards. She doesn't do mad either. When I get mad I can sit and stew in it which is really bad for an alcoholic because it breeds resentments and puts me at risk for drinking. I can blow up and say ugly things except I have a fear of confrontation and I don't like having to go back and make amends. I can be passive agressive. Sometimes I admit I do this and that's no good because it breeds resentment AND causes me to have to make an amend. I can talk to a close mouthed friend. I can come and vent on SR or another message board. I can type an e-mail and then let it sit for 24 hours. If I'm still upset I can edit it, tone it way down and then send it or I can simply delete it. I can pray the resentment prayer for that person where I ask for every good thing for that person that I wish for myself for 30 days (this is not easy or fun to do especially in early sobriety but it is effective!) I Can find an activity to take my mind off things. I can get lost in a book or a movie. I can surf the net or tuck myself in early. I could excercise if I wasn't such a fluffy couch potato LOL! I could, God forbid, clean house.
Anyway, you get the drift. Hopefully some of this might help and kudos to you for not drinking over this.
Hugs,
Kellye
I can really empathize with you. I don't "do" mad either. Even at 4.5 years sober I still don't "do" mad very well although a little better than before. I think the fact that you didn't drink over it and you shared it here and with a friend is fantastic because those were some of the things I was going to suggest when I read your initial post.
I have a sponsee who is much like you and I in that regards. She doesn't do mad either. When I get mad I can sit and stew in it which is really bad for an alcoholic because it breeds resentments and puts me at risk for drinking. I can blow up and say ugly things except I have a fear of confrontation and I don't like having to go back and make amends. I can be passive agressive. Sometimes I admit I do this and that's no good because it breeds resentment AND causes me to have to make an amend. I can talk to a close mouthed friend. I can come and vent on SR or another message board. I can type an e-mail and then let it sit for 24 hours. If I'm still upset I can edit it, tone it way down and then send it or I can simply delete it. I can pray the resentment prayer for that person where I ask for every good thing for that person that I wish for myself for 30 days (this is not easy or fun to do especially in early sobriety but it is effective!) I Can find an activity to take my mind off things. I can get lost in a book or a movie. I can surf the net or tuck myself in early. I could excercise if I wasn't such a fluffy couch potato LOL! I could, God forbid, clean house.
Anyway, you get the drift. Hopefully some of this might help and kudos to you for not drinking over this.
Hugs,
Kellye
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