Cause of it all.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 150
Cause of it all.
I went to my counseling appointment this morning. Normally I go with my partner. Today it was just me.
My counselor was really happy/proud of the 3 days. Well, today is the 3rd day rrreally.
We discussed how anxiety and lack of self esteem is the root of it all. She also assured me it wasn't vanity that led me to this point, because that was sticking in my head people always say your so vain etc to think these things.
I know that I have two voices in my head (gee, that makes me sound crazy). I have one telling me I am boring worthless and ugly and that people don't want to be around me or engage in me.
And then I have one saying come on, your ok, you can do this.
My counselor said what would you think if I tell you, you are quiet attractive. I said I would think you are lying to me to try & get me to believe you, when your not really thinking that.
So obviously she told me I have a major problem trusting people, which I know.
She said what do you think you look like? I couldn't even answer my mind was totally numb and I just couldn't feel anything.
It's so stupid isn't it. Every time I go out I have to do myself up to the nines. Just because I am worried people think I am not good enough.
Anyway enough ranting for now. I know all the problems, just not how to fix them.
My counselor was really happy/proud of the 3 days. Well, today is the 3rd day rrreally.
We discussed how anxiety and lack of self esteem is the root of it all. She also assured me it wasn't vanity that led me to this point, because that was sticking in my head people always say your so vain etc to think these things.
I know that I have two voices in my head (gee, that makes me sound crazy). I have one telling me I am boring worthless and ugly and that people don't want to be around me or engage in me.
And then I have one saying come on, your ok, you can do this.
My counselor said what would you think if I tell you, you are quiet attractive. I said I would think you are lying to me to try & get me to believe you, when your not really thinking that.
So obviously she told me I have a major problem trusting people, which I know.
She said what do you think you look like? I couldn't even answer my mind was totally numb and I just couldn't feel anything.
It's so stupid isn't it. Every time I go out I have to do myself up to the nines. Just because I am worried people think I am not good enough.
Anyway enough ranting for now. I know all the problems, just not how to fix them.
To Life!
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
Welcome to the MH forum of SR, tryingto! 
Low self esteem is a problem that many people share. Heaven only knows the root of that issue! I'm glad to see you're going to a counselor. Has s/he spoken to you about CBT? (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?) It's a kind of self-reality check that is really helpful for those negative feelings and thoughts. It's been shown to be quite helpful, really. You may want to ask about it if you haven't discussed it yet.
There are many helpful solutions for anxiety. This sticky, on the top of this forum, has many helpful strategies. You may find some helpful.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-worrying.html
Of course, your counselor and doctor may discern that medication is necessary; I don't know. that's between you and them. But, many of these strategies are helpful as a first step; if they do not help, then you can report that fact to your counselor and go from there.
Always take care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. These components of the self need regular attention to mantain a healthy self. Eat right and exercise; continue to be a lifetime learner; use positive affirmations and pamper yourself from time to time; and keep a conscious contact with your Higher Power. Although it takes thought and effort, it's well worth it for the end result.
I hope these suggestions, which I use myself to help me overcome my own anxiety, help in some way. And I look forward to getting to know you.
Shalom!
Low self esteem is a problem that many people share. Heaven only knows the root of that issue! I'm glad to see you're going to a counselor. Has s/he spoken to you about CBT? (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?) It's a kind of self-reality check that is really helpful for those negative feelings and thoughts. It's been shown to be quite helpful, really. You may want to ask about it if you haven't discussed it yet.
There are many helpful solutions for anxiety. This sticky, on the top of this forum, has many helpful strategies. You may find some helpful.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-worrying.html
Of course, your counselor and doctor may discern that medication is necessary; I don't know. that's between you and them. But, many of these strategies are helpful as a first step; if they do not help, then you can report that fact to your counselor and go from there.
Always take care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. These components of the self need regular attention to mantain a healthy self. Eat right and exercise; continue to be a lifetime learner; use positive affirmations and pamper yourself from time to time; and keep a conscious contact with your Higher Power. Although it takes thought and effort, it's well worth it for the end result.
I hope these suggestions, which I use myself to help me overcome my own anxiety, help in some way. And I look forward to getting to know you.
Shalom!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 150
Shalom
Thank you so much for your post (I was wondering why nobody had replied). I will check out that link.
My mum told me when I start fretting/panicking about what everyone is thinking just keep thinking "I don't care, I don't care"............. I am probably just liking it because it came from my mum...... but thats what I am trying to think.......
Thank you so much for your post (I was wondering why nobody had replied). I will check out that link.
My mum told me when I start fretting/panicking about what everyone is thinking just keep thinking "I don't care, I don't care"............. I am probably just liking it because it came from my mum...... but thats what I am trying to think.......
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