Timetowakeup

Hi, I'm new here and trying to learn my way around. Not sure if I'm doing this right or not but I didn't find a thread on community support. I am only on day 2 and could really use some people to talk to. I have social phobia and can not go out to meetings or shopping or even take my dogs to the vet so I stumbled across this site last night and was relieved to have discovered that I can get community support online without leaving my home, my safety zone.

Just looking for someone to chat with about how to handle wanting to send hubby to the store for alcohol. Yes, he is my enabler and does not believe I have a problem merely because I manage to go to work everyday.

:wtf2

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

We are here to offer support anytime you feel like checking in!

It could be that your husband is concerned that you stopping drinking will change things for him and for your relationship. The main thing is to stay firm in your belief that you need to stop drinking.

Timetowakeup

I had a hysterectomy 10 yrs ago and take 30 mg paxil, mixing that with alcohol IS my sexdrive and I know he does not want me to quit because he may never get sex. I don't go anywhere and he always buys me beer. But after he falls asleep, I do stupid things and blackout. He even offered to buy me a 12 pk tonight even though I told him yesterday that I don't want to drink anymore.

Yes, he is afraid of how our relationship will be if I quit, but I can't keep going on like this.

Midas

Welcome! Miraculous things can happen after you quit drinking & drugging. The libido most often takes the back seat for a while, but then it can really skyrocket. (puns intended)

Timetowakeup

That is a relief, lol!

Thanks :bounce

Dee74

Feel free to post here anytime timetowake up...we have chat rooms too, if you feel like some realtime interaction

If you're like me, it's hard to let go of alcohol - it was my partner in everything I did.

Anna's right tho - you need to stay focused - you can't keep drinking for someone else - it's not rational to keep doing something that's harmful to you.

I've been here a while and I find over and over again as I listen to ppls stories that things invariably work out

Speak to yr husband. Explain to him why you want to quit. If you feel you need to, reassure him that everything else is ok.

Keep posting here and try to take it a day at a time.

welcome
D

Timetowakeup

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Speak to yr husband. Explain to him why you want to quit. If you feel you need to, reassure him that everything else is ok.



welcome
D[/QUOTE]

I have one small problem with that. I can't possible tell him what I have been doing everynight after he goes to sleep. I don't leave the house, but I have shared pics with ppl online and through text msging on my phone. I am ashamed and can not tell him about it. I don't want him to be ashamed of me or upset.

About the chat rooms, where do people talk at?

CarolD

Welcome...

You are doing this on line communication perfectly
and I am so pleased you are here with us.

bumble2008123

Ahh timetowakeup, you're not the first to do stupid things online and you certainly won't be the last. I bet your husband would understand. Regardless, I'm glad you're here keep posting!

Pam08

welcome to sr time, keep posting and take it one day at at time. hope your husband will understand what you need to do is a good thing. My husbandhates me drinking...how different the situations we live in.

Timetowakeup

Thank all of you for the welcoming comments. You all seem to understand so well what I am going through.

Anna

There is so much shame and guilt associated with addiction and things we do when we are in the grips of addiction. But, don't let it prevent you from getting well. That was a problem for me - I would get so overwhelmed with guilt of hurting my family and what I had become, that I would end up drinking again. You can get through this!

mtnmagic

Hi timetowakeup - Just saw this thread and wanted to welcome you to SR.
Really great people and support here 24/7. Keep reading, keep posting.
Congratulations on your decision to stop drinking. It takes a lot of courage
to face our issues.

coffeenut

"only on day 2" is a lot better than not starting at all.

Stop in SR when you can....there is nothing that you haven't done, that someone else hasn't already thought of! You are welcome, here.

Timetowakeup

Well, I talked to hubby about a few things I have done while drunk and him sleeping. He recommends that I just quit taking my paxil so I can keep drinking. He thinks the meds are the problem, not the beer. You know what's funny? He is the only person that I know that believes I do not have a problem with drinking. I think that he must believe if I give it up that it will change our life too much or that he won't be good enough for me. He has expressed that to me before, but that was years ago.

Anyway, I'm going on 5 days now and it seems like forever!!!

Thank you all for your support!!!