Alaia

My ex-abf has been in detox since Saturday (after the horrible week we had last week) and kept calling me, so tuesday we get in huge fight because he thought this time he was going to get into a holding so he could get into a program. He tells me that he only has a 50% chance. I told him we were done, he was not coming back to live at my house, and that I was done with the drama. He flipped out, telling me what a horrible person I was if I was going to let him be homeless in the winter and ended it with the same old I am going to kill myself. I wasn't scared this time...I told him to go ahead and kill himself and he hung up on me. I turned my phone off and got a good nights sleep.

so yesterday..he keeps calling me. I turned the phone off. worked and then went to the Celtic's game with a co-worker. Had a great night. It's so nice to come home to MY house and be able to bring my pocketbook and checkbook inside and not have to worry about anything that goes along with having him in my home.

Today I get to work and a co-worker tells me they saw him. I was kinda shocked cause I thought he was in detox, and he was. Her friend was at the same place and she was dropping him off some money so he could call her, ect. She goes on to tell me that her friend spoke to my ex and they ended up talking and he was telling the friend that we were still together and that he was going to be back with me when he got out (which is bs) and that I wasn't selling the car I used to let him use (which I am on Sunday, hopefully) and that I wasn't answering my phone cause I was at the celtics game. I almost lost it. He is living in a dream world cause none of this is gonna happen. So then my co-worker also tells me that he told some other people that are their that he's only staying the whole 7 days to make me happy and that I will take him back after he does his 7 days. He doesn't want t leave early cause that would upset me. Then he made plans to go get high with some of them when the get out. And to think all this time...while I thought he was going there for himself, to get himself clean and then going to meetings and getting a sponser...it wasn't for him at all. He was doing it so he could live under my roof (his safe place) and continue to use and get away with it. Man....he had me under a spell and I feel pretty stupid for going along with it this long. I am so very happy that my co-workers friend was there and over-heard him saying these things, because it was a giant wake up call.

So i changed my phone # today....no more calls...no more drama.

It was the first, but not the last step to get him out of my life for good.

Impurrfect

Way to go!!!

I'm so glad you are looking out for you! Let him live in his world of denial...he'll figure out the reality sometime, but the good thing is YOU know reality.

I'm really proud of you! Hope you sell the car on Sunday

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

hello-kitty

Good for you! Don't let him have your new number. I can't believe someone would detox for 7 days for no reason. Detoxing sucks.

Everytime you see his lips move, just remember it's all a bunch of lies and attempts at manipulation. He's an addict. Doing what addicts do. Drugs come first.

Stay strong. There's no going back if you don't want to.

Troubledone

What wonderful luck that you found the truth - I think your HP is working overtime.

And good for you. I hope you can leave him behind and find happiness for yourself.

All the best

GwenMarie30

YES!!!! Good for you! My next step would be to remove all of his things from your home and get RID of it! Second I would march myself to the court house and get that restraining order that can be served to him right where he is so this way he cant whine and use another excuse of "I didnt know." Remove him permanantly. Way to go Alaia!

Alaia

I can breathe again. Co-worker's friend told her my ex-abf got into a 28 day program (holding maybe?) so now I don't even have to worry about him showing up on my door step for almost a month. That gives me plenty of time to get to the courthouse and get that restraining order (wicked busy with work I just don't have time this week) most likely on Monday. It's on top of my to-do list. Thank you everyone for your kind words.

Alaia

Well he had one reason...be homless or go to detox and try to get into a program. Now I know he doesn't take his recovery seriously. It was all a show to get what he wanted.

I don't know why I thought he would be different than other addicts, that the general rules didn't apply (I was in denial) but now I know better.

I am never going back.