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Am I parinod about these feelings

Old 11-13-2008, 05:16 PM
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Am I parinod about these feelings

My son has been living away from us, working and doing a good job of keeping his life clean. Thats the impression he's giving us and we want so much to trust him.....I don't!! Thats the problem here. My hubby has been away all week and will return home tomorrow. Thank Goodness!! Chris called today and told me the guys he works with all got their huinting licenses and so did he. We have his shotgun here and he wants to come and get it tomorrow.....he called his dad and Duey said OK~~~and told him where shells were. It scares the poop outta me that a recovering addict is going to have a gun and go hunting...I may be paranid but holy moly~~~~how would you feel??? Smiles, Bonnie I hope Dueys home by the time Chris shows up......
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Old 11-13-2008, 05:36 PM
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Bonnie, One of my daughter's ex-boyfriends went hunting while in active addiction. He managed to not kill anyone including himself. If Chris loved to hunt before addiction, he is most likely still going to enjoy it in recovery. Are you worried about hunting or that he will try to pawn the gun. Just curious. Hugs, Marle
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Old 11-13-2008, 05:39 PM
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I do see your concern totally.
I have alot of trust issues with my ABF. I dont live with him anymore and i wonder when he tells me what hes doing, if he actually is or is he secretly drinking and lying to me.

I think when you have been lied to alot in the past or been given reasons not to trust a person its hard to regain what you've lost. This has pretty much been my life for the past 4yrs, so i consider myself an expert!!
Im finding this one of the hardest things to cope with. I find myself thinking things that he might be up to and most of the time he hasnt actually been doing anything of the sort.

Extreme paranoia is usually to blame in my case and i am trying to just think that whatever happens happens and i can do nothing to control it.

Dont try and stop your son from going shooting, he has to do his thing and if it goes wrong so be it.

You are not responsible for him, he is an adult and he makes the choices and HE must deal with the consequences.

Thats the way im having to see things to stop my paranoia driving me insane and i hope you can be strong and do the same.

Take care.
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Old 11-13-2008, 05:43 PM
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(((Bonnie))) , I really understand your anxiety...
and how hard it is to trust Chris in his recovery....and trust that he will be safe when he is out hunting with his friends....sending you prayers for peace and understanding, and prayers for Chris' safety...hugs, Grateful
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Old 11-13-2008, 05:54 PM
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Yes Marle~~for a bit I was thinking just that..and what can I do about it. Its his gun......hopefully he is going hunting and slowly my trust MAY return....after about 5 years....LOL I'm not making light of this but it just goes on and on and on~~~~I do so much want to not got caught up in his life again...as far as drugs go..
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Old 11-13-2008, 06:03 PM
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Hi Bon.... It's so hard to get to the point where you can let go and let him make his own mistakes. I know you love him and I know that you have good reason not to trust him. Remember, he is going to do what he is going to do. You can't stop it. Trust that as you have communicated in the past, that this time he will also make the right decision. You are one strong woman. Take care of you and know that your "NY buddy" is thinking of you! HUGS!
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Old 11-13-2008, 06:34 PM
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Hey iamallright~~~I wish my nybuddy lived closer so we could have cooffee.....thanks hon
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Old 11-13-2008, 08:08 PM
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Hi Bonnie, I do understand your concern, but he is grown, it apparently is his gun and he apparently always liked hunting. It may well be a good thing for him. It really comes back to the 3 C's...and the biggest of those C's...you can't control it. HUgs
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Old 11-13-2008, 08:12 PM
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Thanks Greet~~for moving the post. I always feel so much better after I have gotten some feedback from you all. I still may worry a bit but hearing your thoughts on this is sooo good for me. Smiles, Bonnie
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Old 11-13-2008, 08:37 PM
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Hunting season is big here in western NY, as you well know. lol Maybe it's a good thing to see him involved and interested in going out with the guys and doing the so-called "bonding".

Maybe he'll invite you for some lovely venison steaks!!!!!

Hugs
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Old 11-13-2008, 09:27 PM
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Bonnie, as you and many others know I got sober a long time ago, lol

Got sober in early, June. Got my out of state license for Nevada in early September, I lived in Southern California at the time, and in Mid November at 5 months sober was up in Northeastern Nevada in The Diamonds hunting. Got me a nice forked horn mule deer that year, man was he tender,yum.

Continued to hunt for many years both in Nevada and here in NM until my legs got to bad and couldn't do all the 'hiking' any more.

If your son hunted before his addiction got bad, then in all likelihood he just wants to go hunting.

Please let it go. Remember, focusing on you and your physical healing is all that is important right now.

Love and hugs,
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Old 11-14-2008, 11:00 AM
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Yes~ Hunting is a big thing around our area. My older son got a deer with his bow and will be out all next week also. He's the hunter in the family. Chris used to hunt alot so maybe this is a good thing...My wrist is healing and now I have a sinus thingy going on. Can't win here....I'll see Chris tonight and he's bringing his girlfriend with him. We have met her 3'x and she seems nice and straight...which I like. Thanks for all the kind words. Bonnie
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