dogged

well my exbf called me tonight , he said he wont have his cell phone for long because he cant afford to pay the bill, even though im glad we are not together for the fact of all the drama with his addiction, it kills me to see him be homless, he has been sleeping in his car for a week now, his parents kicked him out because of him drinking and doing pot, his doc is crack, anway he went ot the county to see if they could help him,, he cant find a job since he just got out of prison, no one will hire him or rent him a place,, i know its his own fault but i worry about him, i will always love him even though i cant handle the addiction, its getting cold tonight, i asked him if he had a blanket..he does, i told him to go to a serenity house, but he refused..im surprised he didnt ask me for money?? glad he didnt, but i do worry about him, how will he make it? if no one will hire you or rent to you? soon he wont have a car to drive cuz im sure he wont have money for gas.. i just hope he doesnt decide to sell drugs, im worried thats what he will end up doing if no one will hire him.. he couldnt even get a job at mcdonalds, my heart breaks for him and his situation , but i know thiers nothing ican do he doesnt want to hear any advice i have to offer him, cant bring up his addiction, or how its going, what his plans are..nothing,, it suppose to snow tonight, we are suppose to get a storm for the weeknd, fri,sat,sun...i will pray for him, thats all ican do .man if that was me..i would go to wherever i could get a bed to sleep in and do whatever program i had to to change my life..but i guess thats the difference between him and i,... i think for the first ime in his life, no one is helping him, and its hitting him hard, he has no one to go to...a 40 yr old man with absolutley nothing..how sad,, i worry once he loses his phone, cuz i wont know if he is doing ok or if he died..not like his family is going to call me.. i hope he gets a job here soon, so he can at least have a place to live..please pray that he gets a job..because no one should ever be homless...

Stubborn1

It sounds like a round about way of getting you to offer to pay for his cell. I would suggest when he does ever get money to purchase a prepaid phone so he can use the minutes for emergencies.
I know your worry. You asked if he wanted to go to a shelter and he denied. You did try to help. Not much you can do sweets. Just pray for him. He has a choice to live or die and when no one helps him then maybe he'll reach out. If you do talk to him encourage him to call a shelter or Salvation army. If he has the want, he can do it.

Impurrfect

(((Dogged)))

I'm sorry this is so hard on you.

Just to let you know, if he were to go to a shelter or someplace that treats addiction, they would probably have job ideas for him. It IS hard to find a job with a felony on your record, but I know GA has a program for prisoners to re-enter the workforce, and I wouldn't doubt if WI has one, too.

Part of his problem may be he can't pass a drug screen, and if he can't then that's on him.

I know I may sound heartless, but I'm really not. I WAS homeless when I was using and it was a choice I made. I could have easily had a roof over my head, food to eat, but I chose to use instead.

I hope he finds recovery, and that you can know, in your heart, that you are doing the best thing you can do....let him find his bottom.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

mooselips

My oldest son called me today. He has been out putting in applications all morning without a hint of a job. He has multiple felonies, and can barely pay rent, and has a baby on the way.

I suggested to him, if you are seriously interested in staying sober, attend meetings, (he said he went to 4 this week already) and maybe someone there can help you get a job. It's hard for people with an education and experience to get a job, let alone our addicts with records. My next suggestion was go downtown and apply for welfare, maybe they can help you find employment. Personally, I have no answers for him.

I'll pray for both of them, you ExABF and my son, and all our addicts....

dogged

thanks everyone ..yes i did tell him about the shelters for addicts and the serneity house, offers housing for addicts,help them find jobs who have a pison record..its kind of like a rehab place but geared towards how w ell they do in thier recovery is based on how long they stay, nice place, newer facility, nice apts...and its all geared towrds addcits.. they pay 450 a month for rent .some people stay for 2 yrs or longer..he does know about the place i tried to get him in there once, but he refused..doesnt want to be around other addicts he says.. i think he just wants to do what he wants to do,have no restrictions, especially since he is out of prison and off of probation,. they also have places for women and thier children.. its on a lake so its really nice.. but i guess if he doesnt want to go there nothing i can do..and the guy who is the directer is an ex felon and has done well in his recovery of crack so he knows how the system works and how to help these guys,

hello-kitty

If he is still smoking crack, it's probably just a matter of time before he ends up back in jail.

I'm glad you didn't give him money or offer to let him stay with you. When it gets bad enough, he'll get help for his addiction. No worries. Its amazing what addicts are willing to put up with just so they can continue to use drugs.