ladyregah

Ok so it's just an update but something has to be funny in my life right now...

I have been sitting here trying to figure out what my problem is... A has been gone for 17 days and I did something that might have been a bad thing yesterday... I called his mother (also and A) to see if she would tell me where he was... I want to serve divorce papers on him but cant do that if I cant find him.... Anyway she told me that she wouldn't/couldn't tell me where he was without is permission (WHAT?!?!?!) ok fine... She said she would call me back (and she still hasnt) and let me know... When I got off the phone with her I was LIVID! Last time I check I was married to this JERK! (ok now I am venting) and I wasnt the one that walked out on EVERYTHING... me the kids and the house and I wasnt the one that ran off with the kids dog and my wife's truck... (spitting nails again)
So I tried to call Mr. wonderfuls cell phone and I know it is turned on but of course he doesnt answer it...
by bedtime I still havent heard from him or his mother...

This morning my lawyer calls and tells me that my papers are ready and they want to fax them to me to sign... cool! something might be good today....
Then the detective calls about my daughters case... They have interviewed the perp and they are NOT going to arrest him but they are going to send the the file to the prosecutor.. This means another at least month of stress for me about this issue... and this guy lives down the street from me and now he knows that charges are pending... I am just waiting for him to get drunk and come down here and start crap with me... I am going to get a restraining order but that takes getting the papers in order... I am soooooooo frustrated... sometimes I just dont think I can take anymore... I so badly want closure on all of the bull$h!t in my life... I just want to get on with it... I dont have patience, I pray for it all the time but it seems lost on me especially today...
thanks for letting me vent

Love and Light,
Kat

Ann

****{KAT}}}

Your husband, his mother and your bad neighbour are all out of your power. Aside from the legal paper work, and keeping yourself safe, there isn't much you can do to change any of them.

But you can be extra good to yourself. Go to a meeting, call a friend and go to a movie, read a great novel that will just take your mind somewhere else, but do something!!!

The roller coaster stops when WE say it stops. We can get off any time we make up our mind that "enough is enough". And that's when we start to look after ourselves first.

Sending hugs and prayers that tomorrow will be a better day!

Hugs
Ann

EmotionalMeg

Hi Kat,
I am so sorry that your life feels so crazy right now.

Ann is right - remind yourself how much of it is not yours... You don't HAVE to stress and fret over all the things that you cannot control. By casting them aside, and focussing on yourself, you are allowing your HP to do his work.

As far as it goes with your A (ex A?), I am thinking that it would be so much easier if you completely let him go. You have not seen him in 17 days, but you know he is alive... don't go any further than that. Those divorce papers will be waiting for him whenever he decides to show up - whats the rush!?

My thoughts are with you, and I sincerely hope you are able to find some serenity again
Take care
Meg

ladyregah

you all are such a comfort to me when I am feeling my most insane....

I did call his mother today and she and I talked for a few minutes... I finally got her to tell me that he is there with her... She also said that he isnt "ready" to talk to me.. She says that he cries himself to sleep at night when he sleeps and he has talked of suicide.... I had to ask her when he has thought of me and the kids in all of this and how much he has hurt us... of course she had no answer for that... She had the nerve to tell me to wait another week for him to come and around and not to do anything "rash"!!
My response to that was that it was to late... I told her to tell him that I loved him and I was sorry but I have already taken all of the steps to protect my children. Of course she wanted to know what that was... I told her that she would have to tell him to ask me when he was ready to face me.

Now I can just see the look that they will have on their faces when those papers come in the mail next week. I am sadden by that and at the same time somewhat liberated. I need to put closure on this relationship. I wanted to hear him say that he wasnt coming back... I guess that I really dont need that I got my answer... I called my lawyer and told her to proceed and send the papers... If he is at his bottom then surely he will come to realize it with or with out me, but my life will go on... Maybe he will finally figure it out for himself. I cant attempt to do that for him anymore...
I know that there are still some rough days ahead for me but at least I am finding the strength in myself to detach and get on with life...
I feel much better about things now... It still hurts and I guess it will for awhile but at least I know that I tried...

Thanks again Ladies!! As always you are the voices of wisdom that I need to hear... Sometimes we codies need to vaildate each other as much as the A's in our lives need to have people validate their non-problems...
((((((((((((my friends))))))))))))))

Love and Light,
Kat