My 1st Day
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 2
My 1st Day
Today is my first day of recovery. I'm not sure I'm ready to share my whole story yet...
I am voluntarily attending an AA meeting tonight. I have never been to one before. Can anybody tell me what to expect? Will they ask me to speak?
I am voluntarily attending an AA meeting tonight. I have never been to one before. Can anybody tell me what to expect? Will they ask me to speak?
OMG everything's real
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: England
Posts: 4,020
My first meeting, a month ago, went like this:
First I sat in the car, pure terror!!! Took a while to get up the courage before I went in.
People came up to me, shook my hand and introduced themselves. I got give some leaflets as it was my first meeting. Then someone shared their story of alcoholism and recovery and then everyone spoke in turn. I didn't speak, in fact, have only spoken once. I speak to people before and after now I know people a bit better.
Walking through those doors was the best thing I ever did!!
First I sat in the car, pure terror!!! Took a while to get up the courage before I went in.
People came up to me, shook my hand and introduced themselves. I got give some leaflets as it was my first meeting. Then someone shared their story of alcoholism and recovery and then everyone spoke in turn. I didn't speak, in fact, have only spoken once. I speak to people before and after now I know people a bit better.
Walking through those doors was the best thing I ever did!!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Almeria,Spain
Posts: 27
Glad you going to meeting to-night. Just introduce yourself to whoevers closest and mention that it is your first AA meeting. They will look after you. They will understand you, we have all been there.
You don't have to talk if you're not ready. Listen and soon you will get great identification in the room.
You don't have to talk if you're not ready. Listen and soon you will get great identification in the room.
Day One's Can RIP!!!
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Far & Wide
Posts: 244
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Welcome to SR Forus . . . Right off the bat I want you to know that I think you're very brave and courageous! The hardest and the best thing I ever did was walk into my first AA meeting . . . . and after it was over, I realized I really had nothing to fear.
What to expect . . . at most meetings they'll ask if it is anyone's first AA meeting . . . . you don't have to introduce yourself, but if you want to, all you need to say is "My name is " " and I'm an alcoholic' (and you don't even need to say that you're an alcoholic . . . You can just stop at giving your name).
I've never been at a meeting where they've asked a newcomer to speak . . . they may ask other members to share on the first step of the program since there will be a newcomer in the room ("We admitted we were powerless over alcohol & our lives had become unmanageable."). If the meeting is a "round table" discussion where everyone shares in turn, if it gets to be your turn all you need to say is "I'd like just listen tonight so I'll pass."
All you need to do is sit and listen. Nothing will be expected of you. The women may pass around sheet so they can list their names & phone numbers and they'll give it to you after the meeting.
When I went to my first meeting, I didn't know that they "passed the basket" and most everyone threw a dollar in the basket. I didn't have a dollar with me so I was kind of embarrassed . . . but it was OK cause it isn't required that you do. But in case you didn't know about the basket, I thought I'd mention it.
Let us know how it goes, OK?
Welcome to SR Forus . . . Right off the bat I want you to know that I think you're very brave and courageous! The hardest and the best thing I ever did was walk into my first AA meeting . . . . and after it was over, I realized I really had nothing to fear.
What to expect . . . at most meetings they'll ask if it is anyone's first AA meeting . . . . you don't have to introduce yourself, but if you want to, all you need to say is "My name is " " and I'm an alcoholic' (and you don't even need to say that you're an alcoholic . . . You can just stop at giving your name).
I've never been at a meeting where they've asked a newcomer to speak . . . they may ask other members to share on the first step of the program since there will be a newcomer in the room ("We admitted we were powerless over alcohol & our lives had become unmanageable."). If the meeting is a "round table" discussion where everyone shares in turn, if it gets to be your turn all you need to say is "I'd like just listen tonight so I'll pass."
All you need to do is sit and listen. Nothing will be expected of you. The women may pass around sheet so they can list their names & phone numbers and they'll give it to you after the meeting.
When I went to my first meeting, I didn't know that they "passed the basket" and most everyone threw a dollar in the basket. I didn't have a dollar with me so I was kind of embarrassed . . . but it was OK cause it isn't required that you do. But in case you didn't know about the basket, I thought I'd mention it.
Let us know how it goes, OK?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 2
Thanks for your help guys. Maybe I should share a little with you so I might feel more comfortable tonight.
I've been drinking for about 12 years. I'm only 29. Last week I got in an argument with my girlfriend and she punched me in the face because I was acting drunk and stupid (as usual). I called the police... I decided not to press any charges but the court is going to press charges anyways. Since they have her full (and videotaped) confession, they have decided to charge her with felony battery. I am not allowed to talk to her or see her. The police removed her from our house. She will probably go to jail.
My girlfriend is my rock. She has been the only thing keeping me from going totally out of control. But now I'm on my own and I need help. I don't think she will ever forgive me if I don't make an effort to get sober.
I know some of you are thinking that she was wrong, and she was. But if anybody needed a punch in the face, it was me.
So this was the last straw. It's time for me to hang it up. I'm glad there are people out there like you guys who can help me.
I've been drinking for about 12 years. I'm only 29. Last week I got in an argument with my girlfriend and she punched me in the face because I was acting drunk and stupid (as usual). I called the police... I decided not to press any charges but the court is going to press charges anyways. Since they have her full (and videotaped) confession, they have decided to charge her with felony battery. I am not allowed to talk to her or see her. The police removed her from our house. She will probably go to jail.
My girlfriend is my rock. She has been the only thing keeping me from going totally out of control. But now I'm on my own and I need help. I don't think she will ever forgive me if I don't make an effort to get sober.
I know some of you are thinking that she was wrong, and she was. But if anybody needed a punch in the face, it was me.
So this was the last straw. It's time for me to hang it up. I'm glad there are people out there like you guys who can help me.
Dismember
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Mitten, USA
Posts: 1,641
I don't remember how my first meetings went.
You don't have to share. Chances are you will be looked at during some point, or will be asked if you want to speak. That is really just out of the consideration of the other people at the table wanting to make sure you are given an opportunity. I've been to plenty of meetings where new people just introduce themselves, say they are new to AA, thank others for getting the chance to listen, and that's it. Perfectly normal!
Chances are you might also be asked to introduce yourself as a new-comer. Again, that is up to you. I never did. I've never seen anyone called upon to do so either.
I have been going to meetings for a while now, but even I don't talk very much. The important thing is that you should not feel any pressure to go beyond what you're comfortable with at a meeting. Success in AA is not dependent upon making great speeches.
You don't have to share. Chances are you will be looked at during some point, or will be asked if you want to speak. That is really just out of the consideration of the other people at the table wanting to make sure you are given an opportunity. I've been to plenty of meetings where new people just introduce themselves, say they are new to AA, thank others for getting the chance to listen, and that's it. Perfectly normal!
Chances are you might also be asked to introduce yourself as a new-comer. Again, that is up to you. I never did. I've never seen anyone called upon to do so either.
I have been going to meetings for a while now, but even I don't talk very much. The important thing is that you should not feel any pressure to go beyond what you're comfortable with at a meeting. Success in AA is not dependent upon making great speeches.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Atlanta, Georgia
Posts: 6
I know what you are feeling
Hi Forus-
I thought I would share with you so you do not feel so alone and scared about tonight. I went to my first AA meeting 9 days ago voluntarily. I had been drinking more and more steadily for the past 7 years and it had gotten to the point where I could not get out of bed without wondering if I had alcohol and if I did not, wehn I was going to have a chance to go and get it.
I was always stupid after a few drinks and mean....I finally realized I was a complete ...hole after I told my wonderful husband he was a loser and not really a part of our family(what I meant I have no idea). I then proceeded to slap him hard across the face and throw our framed engagement picture across the room shattering glass everywhere! He had to clean everything up b/c we have a 2 year old(sleeping thankfully) and she would have gotten hurt. I could not be bothered to accept responsibility for the fight so I stormed out of the house and sat in the driveway for a while before returning.
This was one of many increasingly crazy episodes and I thought...enough is enough. That was 4 days before my first AA meeting.
I was so scared when I got there that I was shaking! When I walked in everyone was relaxed and friendly but I thought about 5 minutes in that this was not for me and I was already planning my liquor store stop in my head on the way home. Then, something happened....I am not sure what to call it but as people began to share their experiences...I felt a weight begin to lift and I felt more and more comfortable. By the time I left one hour later, I did not want to stop for booze....at least not that night. That is how it has been since...one day at a time.
My advice is to let them know it is your first meeting. People will then tell their story and experience and you may see or hear something that sparks with you and that is really what it is all about. I am no expert...a newbie myself but AA has kept me sober for almost 2 weeks and I am starting to see some tranformation in all aspects of my life. I know it can only get better if I stick with it.
Welcome! You are not alone. :ghug2
I thought I would share with you so you do not feel so alone and scared about tonight. I went to my first AA meeting 9 days ago voluntarily. I had been drinking more and more steadily for the past 7 years and it had gotten to the point where I could not get out of bed without wondering if I had alcohol and if I did not, wehn I was going to have a chance to go and get it.
I was always stupid after a few drinks and mean....I finally realized I was a complete ...hole after I told my wonderful husband he was a loser and not really a part of our family(what I meant I have no idea). I then proceeded to slap him hard across the face and throw our framed engagement picture across the room shattering glass everywhere! He had to clean everything up b/c we have a 2 year old(sleeping thankfully) and she would have gotten hurt. I could not be bothered to accept responsibility for the fight so I stormed out of the house and sat in the driveway for a while before returning.
This was one of many increasingly crazy episodes and I thought...enough is enough. That was 4 days before my first AA meeting.
I was so scared when I got there that I was shaking! When I walked in everyone was relaxed and friendly but I thought about 5 minutes in that this was not for me and I was already planning my liquor store stop in my head on the way home. Then, something happened....I am not sure what to call it but as people began to share their experiences...I felt a weight begin to lift and I felt more and more comfortable. By the time I left one hour later, I did not want to stop for booze....at least not that night. That is how it has been since...one day at a time.
My advice is to let them know it is your first meeting. People will then tell their story and experience and you may see or hear something that sparks with you and that is really what it is all about. I am no expert...a newbie myself but AA has kept me sober for almost 2 weeks and I am starting to see some tranformation in all aspects of my life. I know it can only get better if I stick with it.
Welcome! You are not alone. :ghug2
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
Hi Forus!
Welcome to SR..
At our local meetings..it is asked.."Not to embarrass anyone, but are
there any newcomers in their first 24 hours of sobriety?"
Then 30 days...and so on.
You (do not have to) respond. It is up to you!
You may, or may not be given a welcome coin...it depends upon the
individual group.
As to sharing..you can choose to "pass" if called on to share.
I do know this. You will be welcomed!
Good luck!
Welcome to SR..
At our local meetings..it is asked.."Not to embarrass anyone, but are
there any newcomers in their first 24 hours of sobriety?"
Then 30 days...and so on.
You (do not have to) respond. It is up to you!
You may, or may not be given a welcome coin...it depends upon the
individual group.
As to sharing..you can choose to "pass" if called on to share.
I do know this. You will be welcomed!
Good luck!
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