blessed4x

Since my AH left over the weekend, then returned, I'm much clearer about needing to go through with seperation. I thought last night would be a good time to talk since he hadn't been drinking. I found out he's no more logical off the bottle than he is on. It quickly deteriorated into quacking, which I walked away from. This is all about "some alcoholism idea that someone has put in my head". He wouldn't have to hide bottles and could drink like a "normal person" if some B!&$% wasn't digging through his stuff. He is the only one trying to make this relationship work, blah, blah, blah.

So my question is how do you go about the logistics with someone who has dug in their heels and isn't leaving? He works and pays half the mortgage and utilities. He isn't abusive. I could go, but there are 5 of us (I wouldn't leave the kids) and one of him.....and I don't make enough to pay on 2 places and my name is on the mortgage so I don't want to screw up my credit. It gives me a very trapped feeling, but I know there must have been others in the same spot, so I just need advice and ideas. I am ready to move forward and I have told him so......he says "go ahead".

LaTeeDa

I think these are questions for an attorney. Worst case scenario, you have to stay in the same house with him until the divorce is final. Do you have a spare room you can stay in? Also, it was mentioned in another post to note the date you move into another room so you can put it as the separation date on the paperwork. Again, all questions to cover with your attorney.

L

P.S. I just noticed that you said separation, not divorce. Note, that at least in my state, they are virtually the same process. The only difference being the two parties cannot remarry.

hadenoughnow

I told my ex that he could leave voluntarily or the police would be telling him to leave (I had already filed for divorce and had filed to get a protection order hearing)). I made it clear that I was will do to just about anything (including lying if necessary) to have him removed. He dragged his feet some but he left.

He was not physically abusive either but was threatening all sorts of things (to lock me out of the house, take our son and leave, empty his retirement fund etc). I don't regret anyting I did, it was worth it.