Update
Perfectly Imperfect
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: H
Posts: 129
Update
Hi everyone! I am doing very well now. A lot of meetings with counselors, doctors and some much needed medication has got me back on track now. It has also given me some new perspective on my current situation.
I have decided that I am going to take care of myself. This can end in two ways. He is going to be upset with me for doing this or he is going to hop on the healthy wagon with me. Plain and simple. I do not need chaos, lies and hurt in my life.
If he wants badly enough to be with me then he will find a way to get better. I realize that it is a nearly impossible thing and I am not getting my hopes up. As much as I love him, I am not willing to go down with him.
So...I am taking time for myself and my daughter. I am currently reading this book by Eckhart Tolle called A New Earth. It is quite good. My mood is getting better everyday. I do feel a little tired right now.
My doctor put me on Lexapro 10 mg. and Atavan for panic attacks and high anxiety.
I DID NOT lose my job. I came in and she said she wants me to stay but this is what I need to do....so that is really good. This medication works so well that I was quite in control in that meeting. I had been dreading it from the beginning. But, everything is okay.
So, I am sure I will be writing again but with a new attitude. No matter what I lose in life or think I've lost, I will always have one thing.....ME. And all that I NEED is the air I breathe. So, I have really gained some insight and perspective over the last few days about where I am and where I'm going to be.
Thank you all for your support during this time for me, I greatly appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. I think of SR as a second family and I am so happy you are all part of my life
Take Care,
Heather
I have decided that I am going to take care of myself. This can end in two ways. He is going to be upset with me for doing this or he is going to hop on the healthy wagon with me. Plain and simple. I do not need chaos, lies and hurt in my life.
If he wants badly enough to be with me then he will find a way to get better. I realize that it is a nearly impossible thing and I am not getting my hopes up. As much as I love him, I am not willing to go down with him.
So...I am taking time for myself and my daughter. I am currently reading this book by Eckhart Tolle called A New Earth. It is quite good. My mood is getting better everyday. I do feel a little tired right now.
My doctor put me on Lexapro 10 mg. and Atavan for panic attacks and high anxiety.
I DID NOT lose my job. I came in and she said she wants me to stay but this is what I need to do....so that is really good. This medication works so well that I was quite in control in that meeting. I had been dreading it from the beginning. But, everything is okay.
So, I am sure I will be writing again but with a new attitude. No matter what I lose in life or think I've lost, I will always have one thing.....ME. And all that I NEED is the air I breathe. So, I have really gained some insight and perspective over the last few days about where I am and where I'm going to be.
Thank you all for your support during this time for me, I greatly appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. I think of SR as a second family and I am so happy you are all part of my life
Take Care,
Heather
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in my own world~
Posts: 1,237
Sounds good Heather~~Sometimes we just need the help of others to help clear our heads..and set us in the right direction. You sound like your tracelling the right road now. Good luck and hang in there...Hugs, Bonnie
rozied
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: PA, USA
Posts: 1,292
Dearest Heather, I am so happy you didn't lose your job & your getting the help you need. Honey I am so glad you realize all you need is the air you breathe. My 1st hubby was a Compulsive Gambler & I thought the son rose & set on him. I married him at 18 & after giving him 10yrs of my life I ended it btw us. After 10 yrs on my own I met & married my present hubby. I am now 61 & even though I love my husband very much if anything happened to him I could go on. Everyone is born alone & they die alone. We must be abel to stand alone, and when something is not good for us, we must be abel to walk away.
I believe you realize that now. Good for you.
Taking care of ones self must be everyones first priority cuz if you don't you are of no help to anyone else ( like your little one ).
Love & Hugs,
Diane
I believe you realize that now. Good for you.
Taking care of ones self must be everyones first priority cuz if you don't you are of no help to anyone else ( like your little one ).
Love & Hugs,
Diane
Perfectly Imperfect
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: H
Posts: 129
So I am taking some small steps to help me recover from my addiction to my addict boyfriend. I am leaving my cell phone in my car while I am at work that way I am not always preoccupied with him texting me. I also asked him to only email me if it is work related. I have noticed today and yesterday that this is going very well. I hardly think of him. It makes me realize life would go on if we had to separate. I feel very strong still and I think even these little steps will help me a lot in my addiction to him.
It is lunch time and usually I would send him a sweet text reminding him how much I love him or I would call him. I am not going to do that. I want to teach myself that I don't need his reassurance to know that he loves me and that I can make it through the day without having to talk and text him all the time. And that way, if he is having a bad day, we can talk about it after work and I won't be worrying and obsessing about it while I am at work.
So...thanks to all of you for the strength you have given me. I hope you are all having a wonderful day. It is rainy, cool and drizzly here in Maine. It reminds me too much of what's coming.....COLD.....BRRRRR.
Hugs
Heather
It is lunch time and usually I would send him a sweet text reminding him how much I love him or I would call him. I am not going to do that. I want to teach myself that I don't need his reassurance to know that he loves me and that I can make it through the day without having to talk and text him all the time. And that way, if he is having a bad day, we can talk about it after work and I won't be worrying and obsessing about it while I am at work.
So...thanks to all of you for the strength you have given me. I hope you are all having a wonderful day. It is rainy, cool and drizzly here in Maine. It reminds me too much of what's coming.....COLD.....BRRRRR.
Hugs
Heather
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