Diary of a Mad Woman
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 163
Diary of a Mad Woman
I have been both praised to the heavens and criticized enough to make me feel as though I should be in the bottom depths of hell for my decision to leave my husband of eight years. Either way there truly is no right answer. I did what I felt was best for my self and my daughter.
I walked out of my second marriage. Ron and I were together for eight years. Two of those years he was in prison for drinking and driving. Those who know me from that time also know that for four of those years we lived not without incident. The first year he was on probation, the three years leading up to the arrest that lead to him going to prison I lived in a mixture of fear and hope. The night before he was arrested I told him I didn't want to go with him to the race, I begged him to take one of his friends. He talked me into going, he talked me into drinking. I told him the night before I had a feeling but on our way to the race he just kept on nagging and clucking at me. I should have stood my ground but I didn't. I gave in with a grudge, I was mad at him, he wouldn't let me get something to eat when we stopped, we needed to get beer, Like a dumb ass I didn't have my own money on me. As angry as I was then, we had so much fun together that day, the most we had had in a very long time. We had both worked so hard to get our business off the ground and all the hard work was finally starting to pay off.
I forced him to go back into business for himself instead of doing the same thing for someone else, I knew he could do it. After all, there is nothing you can have that you can't have again. When we went to that race we had signed our biggest contract yet. We had a reputation and more than a leg to stand on. Until that night. We were pulling out of TMS after most every one had left. There was a row of officers and it looked to both of us that they were flagging us in the direction that he turned. We were both wrong. I was on one side of the truck, he on the other. I saw him go down on his knees while they put the cuffs on. He wouldn't look at me, it was the moment I knew from day one would happen but prayed would not. It was his fourth DWI.
I tried my best to let him do what he believed was right without nagging or ragging. He had tried many times to not drink and being back to work for himself was working. When I first started dating him I invited him over for dinner. He didn't eat. He did spend the night but we did not have sex, he did not want to drive. I woke up to the sound of him cracking a beer. I said something to the effect of "what can I get you some cold pizza to go with that? Dude, aren't you a bit old for the college diet?" I know, I should have kicked him to the curb then.
He was so sweet. My daughter loved him instantly. Perhaps she saw a kindred spirit. They were both children looking for some one to love them. In her case her biological father was absent. I cannot explain with him, he had parents who adored him.
My Nana who at the time was in her early eighties when Ron was arrested for his fourth DWI became ill. She was ready. Her last few years had been less than pleasant. She was an amazing woman, she taught me how to be a lady and how to fight like hell for what I believe in. Most of all she taught me how to believe in God or a HP depending on you. He is there. I came to her bedside when she was ready. She had no idea who I was and while that hurt I understood. There were issues that kept me away from her that had nothing to do with her, just a family so beyond dysfunctional it does not bear mentioning.
Smother was already end staging. She was on her fourth dialysis shunt. If you don't know, a shunt is like a mini by-pass. Her cardiovascular system was like swiss cheese and she was about sixty five then. She was bound and determined that she would get s kidney transplant. Which she did which made me so angry you would not believe. She should never have been a candidate at her age and life style when so many people are waiting for the same. She abused her life, her family and her power and that is an abomination.
Anyway, I came down to Nana to see her through her last days. The only thing Ron had to do was stay sober and not smoke pot. He called every day three four times a day each day with the same story. Tomorrow he will quit smoking.
I came back for the plea. My Nana died a week later. On what was that year not just my birthday but Mother's day.
I walked out of my second marriage. Ron and I were together for eight years. Two of those years he was in prison for drinking and driving. Those who know me from that time also know that for four of those years we lived not without incident. The first year he was on probation, the three years leading up to the arrest that lead to him going to prison I lived in a mixture of fear and hope. The night before he was arrested I told him I didn't want to go with him to the race, I begged him to take one of his friends. He talked me into going, he talked me into drinking. I told him the night before I had a feeling but on our way to the race he just kept on nagging and clucking at me. I should have stood my ground but I didn't. I gave in with a grudge, I was mad at him, he wouldn't let me get something to eat when we stopped, we needed to get beer, Like a dumb ass I didn't have my own money on me. As angry as I was then, we had so much fun together that day, the most we had had in a very long time. We had both worked so hard to get our business off the ground and all the hard work was finally starting to pay off.
I forced him to go back into business for himself instead of doing the same thing for someone else, I knew he could do it. After all, there is nothing you can have that you can't have again. When we went to that race we had signed our biggest contract yet. We had a reputation and more than a leg to stand on. Until that night. We were pulling out of TMS after most every one had left. There was a row of officers and it looked to both of us that they were flagging us in the direction that he turned. We were both wrong. I was on one side of the truck, he on the other. I saw him go down on his knees while they put the cuffs on. He wouldn't look at me, it was the moment I knew from day one would happen but prayed would not. It was his fourth DWI.
I tried my best to let him do what he believed was right without nagging or ragging. He had tried many times to not drink and being back to work for himself was working. When I first started dating him I invited him over for dinner. He didn't eat. He did spend the night but we did not have sex, he did not want to drive. I woke up to the sound of him cracking a beer. I said something to the effect of "what can I get you some cold pizza to go with that? Dude, aren't you a bit old for the college diet?" I know, I should have kicked him to the curb then.
He was so sweet. My daughter loved him instantly. Perhaps she saw a kindred spirit. They were both children looking for some one to love them. In her case her biological father was absent. I cannot explain with him, he had parents who adored him.
My Nana who at the time was in her early eighties when Ron was arrested for his fourth DWI became ill. She was ready. Her last few years had been less than pleasant. She was an amazing woman, she taught me how to be a lady and how to fight like hell for what I believe in. Most of all she taught me how to believe in God or a HP depending on you. He is there. I came to her bedside when she was ready. She had no idea who I was and while that hurt I understood. There were issues that kept me away from her that had nothing to do with her, just a family so beyond dysfunctional it does not bear mentioning.
Smother was already end staging. She was on her fourth dialysis shunt. If you don't know, a shunt is like a mini by-pass. Her cardiovascular system was like swiss cheese and she was about sixty five then. She was bound and determined that she would get s kidney transplant. Which she did which made me so angry you would not believe. She should never have been a candidate at her age and life style when so many people are waiting for the same. She abused her life, her family and her power and that is an abomination.
Anyway, I came down to Nana to see her through her last days. The only thing Ron had to do was stay sober and not smoke pot. He called every day three four times a day each day with the same story. Tomorrow he will quit smoking.
I came back for the plea. My Nana died a week later. On what was that year not just my birthday but Mother's day.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
