Overwhelming need to 'FIX'
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Gulfport, MS
Posts: 13
Overwhelming need to 'FIX'
Hey everyone,
So i knew this day was coming. The day that i will want to fix the things that is not going right in my xabf life. For example he broke his cell phone. I automatically wanted to go out and by another one. I'm thinking, that is his only alarm to get up. How is supposed to get up without his cellphone alarm. His tv is also broken. No too concerned about that. He also called me and asked about the probation officer and if i had the slip with the appointment time on it. And then proceeded to ask me if i would call for him. hmmmm......Then later on he called and asked if i would bring him some dinner over. hmm....He has also been reiterating how he will not have enough money for the bills at the end of the month and if this one time i would help...hmmmmm.....I know i should not be even picking up the phone when he calls. Oh goodness this is harder than i thought!
So i knew this day was coming. The day that i will want to fix the things that is not going right in my xabf life. For example he broke his cell phone. I automatically wanted to go out and by another one. I'm thinking, that is his only alarm to get up. How is supposed to get up without his cellphone alarm. His tv is also broken. No too concerned about that. He also called me and asked about the probation officer and if i had the slip with the appointment time on it. And then proceeded to ask me if i would call for him. hmmmm......Then later on he called and asked if i would bring him some dinner over. hmm....He has also been reiterating how he will not have enough money for the bills at the end of the month and if this one time i would help...hmmmmm.....I know i should not be even picking up the phone when he calls. Oh goodness this is harder than i thought!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
It is hard to break habits you've learned over a lifetime. But you can do it. It sounds like you are doing pretty danged good saying no though.
If his calls are making you feel like you are going to go into full enabling codependent mode, perhaps consider going no contact for a while to give yourself time to heal a bit and to start feeling stronger and more sure of your choices.
If his calls are making you feel like you are going to go into full enabling codependent mode, perhaps consider going no contact for a while to give yourself time to heal a bit and to start feeling stronger and more sure of your choices.
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