I am tired
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 9
I am tired
So Monday he drank to much. We started arguing, next thing I know he threatens my life. (now he says he misunderstood what I said prior to his threat) Whatever the f ever. Anyway my 13 yearold step son started arguing with him and then left the house. I went after him with my 3 yr old. It was late and I didn't want him wondering the streets. I told my alcoholic boyfiend we would be back in a little bit, he said ok then calls me back and says don't come home tonight none of you. Silly me waited an hour came back to the house. He not only locked the doors. He tied them shut. I thought it best not to enter the house. There I was with his son, our daughter, no money and nowhere to go. My family is 2 hrs away and I have no friends around here. I wound up borrowing the money from my step-daughter who was staying at a friends. We stood in a hotel. He called the next morning, he know is messed up. Now here is Wednesday night. He drank Tuesday, and today. I can't take it anymore. He is not working. I need to get out of this situation. I am so fed up. My daughter is having such a hard time with this and I am having a hard time trying to understand why I can't just let go.
I remember feeling that sense of desperation and exhaustion. I felt old and completely worn out at the age of 42. Like my life was over and I would just suffer through the rest of my years until I finally died. Just like my grandmother.
The good news is I am about to turn 46 and I feel younger than ever! Life is good and I still have many good things to look forward to. My brother-in-law likes to say "it's not so much the years as it is the miles." Living with an alcoholic puts a lot of miles on you. You have the choice of continuing to rack up rough miles or take it easier on yourself.
L
The good news is I am about to turn 46 and I feel younger than ever! Life is good and I still have many good things to look forward to. My brother-in-law likes to say "it's not so much the years as it is the miles." Living with an alcoholic puts a lot of miles on you. You have the choice of continuing to rack up rough miles or take it easier on yourself.
L
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: MO
Posts: 743
Me too, good to know that can all turn around. It's fear that is keeping me stuck. Fear of the unknown, fear of the pain of getting through the seperation, fear of how it will affect my kids (I know......illogical because living with an A has plenty of effects), financial fear. Funny, growing up I was such a free-spirit. My motto was "I never have to worry because my mom does enough of that for both of us". Now I'm drowning in worry and fear. Getting real, concrete advice from people who have been there is so helpful.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 45
My daughter is having such a hard time with this and I am having a hard time trying to understand why I can't just let go.
Hun, get packing... you already got your invitation to leave.
I think you deserve better than this, don't you ?
Teach your boy to be a man by example... by doing the right thing, because obviously your BF isn't man enough to be one. The abusive cycle is learned at the home and I don't think you want your boy to grow up to learn that this type of behaviour is normal.
Call your parents, brother, sisters, anyone that would be willing to help you out of this and don't turn back. Furniture, dishes, clothes all can be replaced.
What is the price on peace of mind ?
GL and be well,
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)