Serenidad

Hi guys! I need some help. There are a few people in my life right now that "rent a lot of space in my head'! These people make me very angry (basically because they are just JERKS!) You know those people in the world that you sware are just on this planet to **** you off!? I sit and think about how much I dislike them WAY TOO MUCH!

I have done the 12 steps up to step 6 so far, I have talked to my sponsor, prayed...etc.etc. and nothing is helping so far!

I want to let my anger towards these people go, but I haven't been able to yet! ANY SUGGESTIONS?

Resentments suck! Thanks guys!

Ananda

It's kinda crazy, but it really helped me to visualize the person and say

"May **** find and follow their spiritual path, May we walk skillfully through our karma"

it didn't even take the two weeks they talk about in AA for it to work.

It's actually the people I like that take up too much space in my thinking! but that "prayer" works for that as well.

IO Storm

One of the hardest things to do..what the Big Book suggests, and what I

had to do recently..is to pray for the "offender" 7 times nightly.

Pray that they would have everything I would want for myself...peace,

prosperity, health, and happiness. This was an especially tough case..as

it is a family member who repeatedly questions my sobriety and lies

about me and other family members. So, I add.."God, I pray she will

have all the love she can find..wrap her in blanket of love and do with

her as You will." I did this for four nights in a row..and the prayer began

to work..the hot, burning resentment began to lift..and peace began to

creep in. Compassion actually did too. I can now see her as a sick friend.

The attacks are still going on...see, sometimes sick people step up their

stuff when they cannot "get at" you anymore. It is a control issue.

That is why I allow my Higher Power to help.

Good Luck!

Serenidad

THANKS GUYS! I will try your suggestions!

doorknob

I like Craig's List Rand & Rave!

Ananda

???? not enough information dn

bugsworth

Hey Jen, if praying for them doesn't work I recommend hanging a heavy bag or maybe joining a martial arts school, punching the hell out of a heavy bag is totally under rated! LOL

In all seriousness it is times like these where you need to remember how short life is and on a scale of 1 to 10 how important is it?

Aysha

I could say you cant comtrol how these people are.
You can only control how you let them effect you.
And that is true.
To a point.
Sometimes you just gotta let it out somehow.

Buy a punching bag.

doorknob

Craig's List has a board called 'Rant & Rave' where you can vent about whatever you like. It's in the 'Personals' section and each city has one. I read it fairly often and post on occasion. It's user moderated like the rest of Craig's List, so it's not for everyone.

IO Storm

A therapist had me get a tennis racket a beat the heck out my bed...

it really helped too. Exercise helps. Endorphins good...cortisol bad. *Lol*

Don't drink or use no matter what...

tommyk

You will learn more about resentments in steps 8 & 9, I think.

In the meantime, realize that when you pick up a red hot poker with the intention of hitting someone you resent, you burn yourself badly.

The longer you hold onto the red hot iron with the intention the more it hurts YOU.

Best bet: make a frim resolution that you will NEVER do whatever it was that person did.

THAT you can control. You cannot control them, You can only control yourself.

CarolD

In our AA Big Book....
please read :Freedom From Bondage"

The last page gives specifics about handleing resentments.

Best to you...

littlefish

Jen, it's hard to know how to respond to your post, because we have little information. If it is family, work-related, etc.

But, I can share something that happened to me recently. I visit another website for expatriates. It's a nice community and I know lots of the people personally through social events. A few months ago a couple of new people joined the site and after a short time, all HXXL broke loose: they became the purpetrators of rumors, lies and all kinds of sick game playing. They got banned for that, so they started another website devoted to ridiculing and trashing out people on the original website, including using pictures without permission, making photoshop jokes of people's pictures, as well as publicizing highly sensitive information such as exposing one person's extra-marital affair! They even crashed some real life social events.... These people are beyond sick.

In the middle of all of this mayhem, someone posted an in-depth article about trolls and their motives. It really helped me (for one) understand these people.

Anyone who enjoys harrassing you has problems. Anyone who finds glee in hitting your most vulnerable spot has problems. For a lot of these folks, they are out for revenge for problems you did not cause.

I found a lot of peace reading the article because their anger and disfunctionality is not really connected to me, or any of the other people they tried to hurt. They are simply out to hurt the whole world. For no reason in particular.

After reading the article, I had some good healing thoughts that helped me get past their attempts to pullute my space:
I am not deliberately hurting anyone because I cannot or will not deal with a past trauma. They are. I am not re-living a painful scenario over and over again in my life to fuel my hatred. They are.

I am, on the other hand, opening my mind to my flaws and my past mistakes, and even opening my mind to any wrongs done to me....in order to understand myself better. They are not doing that.
They are trapped in hate, but I am free. I know I am in a much healthier place than them. And, knowing that, they can't hurt me!