Courage to Change ~ August 20 ~ Accepting yourself
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Courage to Change ~ August 20 ~ Accepting yourself
Courage to Change ~ August 20
A billboard in my town reads, “Some come to the fountain of knowledge to drink. Some come to gargle.” My pre-Al-Anon self would have chuckled at this message, but I would have felt some anxiety about whether I was a drinker or a gargler. Life was either black or white, and in order to feel comfortable, I had to know which extreme applied. But whichever label I pinned on myself would leave me feeling wrong, so I would scramble to fix myself.
Now, thanks to Al-Anon, I accept more easily the thought that sometimes I drink, sometimes I gargle, and sometimes I stub my toe on the fountain as I stumble by. I don’t have to do better or differently. The best that I can do is good enough. I can relax and enjoy the joke.
Today’s Reminder
Al-Anon encourages me to examine my thoughts and actions, but this is meant as an act of self-love, not as a weapon to use against myself. When I begin to accept myself exactly as I am, life will feel a lot more gentle.
“Sometimes we try so hard that we fail to see that the light we are seeking is within us.”
As We Understood…
A billboard in my town reads, “Some come to the fountain of knowledge to drink. Some come to gargle.” My pre-Al-Anon self would have chuckled at this message, but I would have felt some anxiety about whether I was a drinker or a gargler. Life was either black or white, and in order to feel comfortable, I had to know which extreme applied. But whichever label I pinned on myself would leave me feeling wrong, so I would scramble to fix myself.
Now, thanks to Al-Anon, I accept more easily the thought that sometimes I drink, sometimes I gargle, and sometimes I stub my toe on the fountain as I stumble by. I don’t have to do better or differently. The best that I can do is good enough. I can relax and enjoy the joke.
Today’s Reminder
Al-Anon encourages me to examine my thoughts and actions, but this is meant as an act of self-love, not as a weapon to use against myself. When I begin to accept myself exactly as I am, life will feel a lot more gentle.
“Sometimes we try so hard that we fail to see that the light we are seeking is within us.”
As We Understood…
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
There was a time in my life when I needed things to be black and white. As my ex's disease got worse and worse, and his manic depressive nature kicked in, the rules changed every single day. What was perfectly ok and normal yesterday was totally unacceptable and NOT ok today. The kids and I were constantly confused and often frightened as we tried to abide by those rules that were always in flux.
When I was first on my own again after that marriage crumbled, I needed things to be very very stable. I needed the comfort of knowing that what WAS yesterday would be the same today and the same tomorrow.
But living with those strict rules was only healthy for a short while. Life isn't black and white. There are all sorts of lovely shades of grey. I learned about boundaries, and I learned about acceptable and unacceptable behavior. And I learned about trust - I learned to trust myself.
Today, I don't beat myself up over choices that I make.
When I was first on my own again after that marriage crumbled, I needed things to be very very stable. I needed the comfort of knowing that what WAS yesterday would be the same today and the same tomorrow.
But living with those strict rules was only healthy for a short while. Life isn't black and white. There are all sorts of lovely shades of grey. I learned about boundaries, and I learned about acceptable and unacceptable behavior. And I learned about trust - I learned to trust myself.
Today, I don't beat myself up over choices that I make.
I don’t have to do better or differently. The best that I can do is good enough. I can relax and enjoy the joke.
Freed from the anguish
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 124
As a child, when my parents would tell me to do something, my typical response was "I'll try". The reply was always, "Don't try, just DO IT." So many times I'd fail, and the disappointment would flood in - moreso from me than from them, I think.
I really appreciate this reading today - it reminds me that it's ok to just "try", and it's ok if I'm not perfect and don't do everything right. I'm ok
I really appreciate this reading today - it reminds me that it's ok to just "try", and it's ok if I'm not perfect and don't do everything right. I'm ok
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