Dr. Phil brings out the codie in me
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: MO
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Dr. Phil brings out the codie in me
Did anyone else see Dr. Phil yesterday? I don't normally watch, but my sister called and said it was about alcoholism, so I did. I kept saying to myself that my AH wasn't that bad because he never smashed his face in a steering wheel like the lady on the show.......then I had this horrific thought. He DID smash his head through the windshield when he ran into a cement wall over 15 years ago (because he was changing the radio station/couldn't have been because he blew twice the legal limit *eyes rolled*). He had so many "normal" years in between then and now that I had completely blocked that from my memory. I sat there watching and tried to justify every single thing he has done as "not as bad". Why is it that comparing like that makes it "better"? I guess the only good news is that this time I am aware of what I do.......maybe I am learning a thing or two.
It was so easy for me to rationalize everything XABF did and put a "but..." after each horrible thing he would say to me...but he was tired, but he was hungry, but he hadn't had a smoke...
and I thought he was the only one in massive denial about a problem!
and I thought he was the only one in massive denial about a problem!
Me too, I rationalised a lot. One time when I decided to tell him to get out and he attacked me for money, I rationalised the punch in the head he gave me because I had kicked out at him trying to get him off me. If I hadn't had kicked out, and hurt him, I wouldn't have gotten that punch.
Complete and utter madness. That is all I can think to describe it, complete MADNESS and very strong denial.
I was so blinded by my 'love' for him and my willingness to believe I was so in the wrong that I turned many occasions around in my head.
Thank goodness I hit my bottom and found SR!!!
Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Complete and utter madness. That is all I can think to describe it, complete MADNESS and very strong denial.
I was so blinded by my 'love' for him and my willingness to believe I was so in the wrong that I turned many occasions around in my head.
Thank goodness I hit my bottom and found SR!!!
Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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