Honu

Wow, I can't believe how long it's been since I've been here! Thanks for all the PM's, and I have missed you too!

When I was last here, I simply got tired of thinking about not drinking, thinking about how lonely I was, and talking about it. I needed a change in my thoughts. I was feeling abandoned by life, and something had to change. Slowly, I realized that I had abandoned myself, and was constantly going to others for validation. I think I needed to validate myself. So, I stayed away, and started trying to figure out what I needed to do, for myself, and by myself.

I was also notified that my landlord was putting my home on the market, and I had to start trying to find a place to start over AGAIN. Add to that my job will be changing due to CEO's decisions...just a lot to deal with.

So, I joined a Committee at work, and have been busy with that, have signed up for more training, to hopefully offer a little more job protection, if needed, and also, I have started school. Doing all of this while working overtime when I can. All of this has taken a lot of time, and I'm not sitting around feeling sorry for myself like I did when I was here before. I don't have TIME! This is a good thing for me. When I do have time, I have been trying to get out and enjoy the summer with my dog. Summers are short lived here. I bought a bike and put a basket on it, and take my dog out for a spin whenever I can---we get a lot of looks! She's so cute in the basket!

However, I have been "dancing with Bacchus" a little here and there. Not anything like before, but, it is STUPID. I'm still a bit lonely, but, I have found out that I really don't "need" anyone, because I can, and I WILL take care of myself. This is a huge revelation to me. I don't need anyone to validate me. It's kind of cool not to be beating myself up like I used to. I don't ever want to go back there!

So, I guess at this point, I need to get back on the wagon, so to speak. It shouldn't be as hard as the last time, I wouldn't think. I hope not, anyway!

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers, and I am just glad that I can come back.

I look forward to getting to know the people who have joined since I left, and to hear from my friends again.

Thanks
Honu

rurdy2rk

Welcome back! :ghug

cmhcali

Welcome back!!! I love dogs What kind do you have. I have a Medium Hair Chihuahua named Linus. He is the love of my life.

Through being sober I can enjoy him. He is eight months old. It is truly great to have him love me unconditionally when at times I do not love myself and it brings me back to working on myself. Animals are such a great inspiration in recovery.

I wish I had his brains. He is all about finding his next treat and lifting his leg whereever possible in my apartment. I am not sure how to break him of this habit. He is getting fixed the end of this month and I am hoping that will help him. If not off to behavioral classes

CarolD

Lots of positives happenings for you

Glad to know you are planning for sobriety

Aysha

Astro

Welcome back, hope you stick around and continue to share! :ghug3

Honu

Thanks!

Honu

Toomutch

Welcome back Honu, I look forward to getting to know you

Anna

Hi Honu,

It's good to see you!

It sounds like you've done some good work at moving forward in your life. That should help you to stay sober.

least

Welcome back!

TTOSBT

Hi Honu!
I don't think that we met before. Happy to see you are back and look forward to getting to know you

Honu

TTOSBT, looks like you got here about the time I took off. I had to stop depending on others, and learn to depend on myself, for the first time in my life. This codie had to step away from just about everyone, not "isolating", but, just learning to take care of myself. I didn't do it intentionally, I just knew that I had to get a grip and stop complaining to others.....

Anyway, glad to meet you, I know you're glad you're here!

Honu