K202

After introducing myself in this thread:
(it wouldn't let me post a link - I'll edit this post later and add it)

I kept looking around and saw a thread someone had posted where they were using it as a journal. It started at day 2 and when until day 72 (unfortunately when they relapsed). I think that's a great idea and decided to do it myself.

I appreciate any and all helpful feedback but I will continue to use this thread to encourage myself as well. To read of my successes (and hopefully not my relapses).

Today is nearing the end of day 3. I'm not going to lie... while lying in bed last night my mouth actually starting watering and the taste of a cold beer was there. I rolled over and told my brain - "GO TO SLEEP. You do NOT need that so don't even think about it." I wouldn't have gotten a beer that late at night - but it certainly could have affected my judgment after work today.

Today has been the toughest day so far. I WANTED a beer when I got home. It's good there is none in the house --- or I may have succumb to defeat yet again. I think if I can make it through the work week - another 3 days, I'll be over the hump. I haven't sleep very well at all the past 2 nights. I don't know if it's in relation to this attempt at quitting or not but my dreams have been vivid, negative and have made my sleep very unhelpful at rejuvenating my energy for the following day. It doesn't help that I'm working about 10-12 hour days nearly 7 days a week right now... all behind a computer.

I've started chewing gum on my way home from work hoping that keeping flavor in my mouth when I come home will keep me from yearning for a beer. I actually think that it does help.

Here's to day 3 under my belt. BRING IT DAY FOUR!!! WHAT YOU GOT?! I know that I CAN BEAT YOU!

TTOSBT

Welcome K2 and congrats on Day 2!
Have you thought about going to meetings or at least changing up your schedule? That helped me a lot!

K202

Not quite sure what you mean by changing up your schedule... but I'm going to give it a good honest try before resorting to meetings. This is the first time I have ever REALLY tried to quit. All the other times were "Let me see if I can make it without a drink this week (or weekend)." They almost always ended in failure although I could usually go 2-3 days without a drink most times. Making through 2 consecutive weekends was the hard part.

Anna

Good for you!

What worked for me in the early days, was changing my routines. I started going out for a long walk right after supper and just basically changing my daily patterns. It really helped me get past the first few weeks. Chewing gum is a great idea. Anything that works, even for a few minutes, is a help.

K202

That's a great idea (and maybe what TTOSBT was referring to). My wife is always asking me to go for walks. Maybe we'll try that tomorrow. THANKS!

Ezzi

K2O2 - BTW is that for Potassium Peroxide?

Conratulations on Day 2! It sounds like you have much resolve.

I've only been sober for 6 days now, but beer was also my drink of choice. I found that sparkling mineral water really helped me the first few days. I don't know why it helped, but while preparing dinner I sipped it. Then I'd have dinner. It's always easier for me to avoid alcohol after I eat a meal. I never feel like drinking on a full stomach.

K202

Day four is in full effect and this one has been a little tough. I've got a SLIPPING tension headache. Probably a combination of my body reacting to the lack of toxins and too many hours of computer work. I'm a web developer and spend MANY hours behind a computer every day and night. Some excedrin tension headache has helped --- but not solved the problem.

I'm actually feeling pretty good... still didn't sleep real well last night. (This is gonna be a little gross bit I think it's important for my journal) After just 4 days, I can see my bowel movements starting to get a little more "normal." I have NO DOUBT it is b/c of the removal of the alcohol from my digestive tract. From my understanding alcohol and coffee have similar affects on the digestive system --- namely, speeding up the process which causes all sorts of problems. Oddly enough, I have also gained 2 pounds in the past 4 days. I'm one of the rare ones and actually have a very low weight (borderline underweight) for someone that drank daily. But I think that the beer may have been curbing my appetite in the evenings. I find myself being more hungry now and eating more... this is good for me.

There is a beer festival this weekend I was really looking forward to going to but have now told my buddies that I cannot attend. This will be my first major hurdle but I'm feeling confident. You all should feel confident too. I keep telling myself,"Alcohol is for weak people - and YOU ARE NOT WEAK." Don't take it personally, but that's just how I feel and it gives me drive to BEAT THIS.

Good luck friends.

Mattcake

Congratulations! Do whatever it takes to stay sober Keep posting!

HideorSeek

Congrats K202 on your resolve!! I'm on Day 2 myself, and can relate to all that you have posted. Feel free to drop by the "chronic" and "August" thread. Lots of nice, caring, and inspiring folks over there!!:ghug2

CarolD

Welcome!

rurdy2rk

Keep it up K2. I only have 33 days, but I can tell you I did not sleep well AT ALL the first week or so, then everything started getting better. I know it's cliche, and it's good you are not planning on going to the beer festival, but in my case I only need to worry about today. You see, when you wake up in the morning, it will be "today" again and you can take on those battles as they come up. Sorry to keep rambling - hope it makes sense. Congratulatins on day 4!

Lily

Congrats on day 4 K2! Way to go!

I know you have not yet decided on meets yet, but there is something about other ppl who you meet f2f that share that common bond with you. Also in early recovery getting that 30 day chip was sooooo exciting for me!! just a thought.

blessings, Sheila

bostonluv

You'll start feeling much better soon and sleep without the vivid dreams (I hate those too) should be just around the corner. It was for me. And that's when you get to see your first real reward. That's how I felt. A good nights sleep and a guilt free morning. So nice. I'm going to enjoy reading your daily journal. Good idea!

K202

First I want to thank YOU ALL for your posts. They all help!!! Every one!

Well - I'm proud of myself... it's day 5. The journal seems to have been a good idea (that I borrowed from another user here) as it allows me to read back through my thoughts from day to day.

Last night I got in the bed at a decent time and I actually feel MUCH better today although still nowhere near 100%. I can honestly say that my head has felt clearer at work and that my body doesn't feel as "dirty." (I think I mentioned that before) I'm really looking forward to this new me and the hopeful changes that will come with it - and I'm referring to the ones that go beyond drinking; I mean spending more time with my family and feeling better about myself.

rurdy, I really hope that you're right about the first week. I had a feeling that the first week/weekend would be the most difficult and while it's definitely be challenging - it hasn't been quite as hard as I expected. Then again SR has REALLY helped a lot. Getting to come here every day and read my own thoughts as well as other peoples challenges keeps the goal top of mind.

Thank you again friends. Here's to day 5 (lifts a glass of Coke).

Anna

It sounds like you're doing great and I'm glad you keep writing here!

bostonluv

Glad to see you are feeling better and less "dirty." Keep up the good work!

K202

I made it through day 6 (Friday) although it was VERY difficult... my hardest day yet. Friday, after work, beautiful outside - I wanted nothing more than to sit on the front porch and wind down the week with a cigar and cold beer. I ended up doing neither but I was seriously having to fight the urge to go to the mini-market and get a six pack from about 6-9pm. Nevertheless, I made it.

Day 7 is being equally as difficult though. I just spent hours working out in my shop (mostly cleaning and tidying up) and I want nothing more now that to have a cold beer.

I must admit that my goal is not to never drink again - and I hope this doesn't put me in the wrong category here at SR. I just want to get my drinking under control. I love beer and have even home brewed some of my own in the past --- but I was getting to a point where I was DEPENDANT on it every day. I don't want to be that way. So I'm working hard now to break that cycle and hopefully get back to the point where 3-4 beers over the weekend is okay but I am strong enough come Sunday night to turn it off until the following Friday/Saturday when I can reward myself for making it through another tough week at work.

But to get from point A to B I feel that I need to make it through at least one weekend with nothing and maybe even 2 or 3. I need to firmly break the habit and dependency before I can move forward.

I think I can make it through this weekend. I'm already half way there! Good luck to everyone else out there struggling this weekend. STAY STRONG!!!

bostonluv

Hwy K202 so what's your goal? How many days alcohol free before it's okay to drink again? No judgement here. I just know that even on the moderation sites (my way out, is the name of one site) you need to go 30 days alcohol free before trying to moderate. This also gives you more time to really think about it and if you truly want to start again. Some people can. For me, it's misery trying to control it so I'd rather go without. One of my favorite little quotes is, when I controlled my drinking I did not enjoy it. When I enjoyed my drinking I could not control it. That sums up my relationship with alcohol to a T.

Ezzi

I'm glad you're hanging in there K2O2! Weekends seem longer now to me.

I'm wondering about your goal as well. Do you have a plan? I'm not judging - just curious.

I've tried moderation, but it hasn't seemed to work for me so far. I don't know why not. I can moderate for a week or two sometimes. But then it gets to that point where after the second beer I lose my resolve. I tell myself I'll go back to moderation tomorrow. I'm really good at rationalizing: "I didn't drink at all for a few weeks...I just had a 6-pack the entire week last week...I can easily do it again starting tomorrow."

I like to think one day I can return to that time when I could have a drink at dinner now and again or at a celebration. I'm just putting that decision out of my head right now. When I think it through, I'm pretty sure I'll just have to remain completely sober. It really hurts my mind to commit to that, so, like I said, I'm just not making that decision right now. At least not formally.

four812

oh I like that..thank you


hope you are continuing to stay sober this weekend and at minimum through all of next week....and at maximum that you get 3 weekends in a row without drinking and all of the days before and between. that what you said....and that is about a month....

give it a shot.....if you want to....you are doing it