LouLou629

Its been four days since I have been on..and last night I let it happen...so any progress is officially down the drain....I got drunk...again...I feel so ashamed and weak...I feel like I dont even deserve yet another chance to do this...This last attempt was number four, when will I learn ? I feel so hopeless...I went to a noon meeting today....it actualy made me feel a bit anxious. I am embarassed to ask for help from you guys...but has anyone else slipped up this many times....how can I prevent it from ever happening again....I really really dont want to drink anymore...I know how good it can feel I went three months last year..I am 25 and all of my friends get drunk...my boyfriend drinks...my co workers drink....Last time I ended up alienating myself a bit which caused other issues to replace the old drinking ones....Can anyone help with your story of strength or encouragement...PLEASE

TryingSoHard

Hi there LouLou,

I can't offer any stories of strength or success, but I can offer support and encouragement. I know how you feel. I have lost track of how many times I promised myself I wouldn't drink anymore and then did it anyway. Way more than 4 times, that's for sure. Every time it seems like I get to day 4 or 5 (if that long) and start thinking things like, "What's the point? Why even bother? Just get drunk and get it over with" and inevitably that's just what I do.

And yet here I am. On Day 2, feeling more serious about it than I have ever felt before, and being honest about my drinking for the first time since I started having a problem.

Don't give up. Hang in there. And don't beat yourself up. Just dust yourself off, learn from your mistakes, and do the best that you can RIGHT NOW.

*hugs*

winwin

Welcome to SR. You will find a very supportive bunch of people here. There is a chronically ralasping thread here also. You may want to post on there also. There are many people here that keep starting over but the important thing is we keep trying. We are reaching out for help and our prayers are being answered. Keep posting and trying.

Dee74

I've slipped up 4 times in a week Lou Lou.

It took 15 years for me to finally really have enough.
But you don't need to do that.

Ask yourself why you drank last night - try and figure out what's driving you...and if meetings are cool with you, keep going to the meetings...AA is good for being around sober folk....maybe even think of getting a sponsor ?

D

Anna

Hi LouLou,

Yes, you can do this and many of us had to try countless times to get it right.

I do believe what worked for me was recognizing that stopping drinking was only the beginning. I changed my routines, daily habits, people in my life. I kept no alcohol in the house. I didn't go anywhere where alcohol was being served, for quite awhile.

I understand the alienating yourself part. I cut off a lot of people and activities too. Have you thought of trying new, healthy things like going for long walks, volunteering in your community, catching up on reading - anything that makes you feel good and opens you up to learning and moving forward.

Change4life

Loulou, you really need to give yourself a break!! 4 slip ups. Ive slipped probably hundreds of times. Dont feel embarrassed. just do what the rest and the best of us do. Pick yourself up, clean yourself off, and start again. Its the people that give up that stand no chance, As long as your working at it your still in the game.

Dont give up. your not alone and there isnt anything wrong with you that isnt wrong with the rest of us. We are addicts and slip ups are part of the nature if the game.

LouLou629

When do people generally get a sponser...is it my misunderstanding thats its usually after you have done step work?

buttercup1

Lou Lou..don't give up. I have slipped up so many times since joining here and I just keep getting back up, dusting myself off, and starting again. You have to really want to fight this and in the end you will win. I am only on Day 2 myself and have not made it past Day 5? in a very long time. I will keep fighting though.
There is so much support here. There is always someone here to help so don't ever hesitate to ask!

Dee74

I'm not an AAer but I think I can safely say you get a sponsor to take you through the step work, Lou Lou

D

ambush0212

LouLou...I am on Day 2 and I haven't ever even made it past Day 1!!!Don't give up!! I know I used to think that this big lightning bolt was gonna strike or I was gonna experience some miracle...So many times I've said to myself(and others)"I'm done"
"I'm never gonna do that again!" And mere hours later I was back drunk or high. Sometimes change is immediate--but most times it's a gradual thing. and from my understanding of AA, you're supposed to go through the 12 Steps with a sponsor as your main source of support, so try to get some numbers at the next meeting you go to. Good luck.

Hevyn

What's happening is perfectly normal LouLou - I don't know anyone who just stopped cold with no setbacks. At 25 it's great that you're at least recognizing what needs to be done and giving it a try. You're not in your 40's or 50's having the light finally dawn for the first time! (Like, um, some of us) You didn't stay away - you came back. That means alot. Dee had his 15 yrs. being out-to-lunch & I had my 25, on & off - and we are both sitting here sober today. Proof that it can be done. My motivation was feeling that I was going to die if I didn't stop playing with it. As buttercup said, you have to really want to fight it, and it sounds like you're determined. We'll be here cheering you on.

least

Well if you count my trying to get and stay sober since last December as so many failed attempts! I've relapsed so many times since then I was beginning to think I was hopeless. But here I am, 31 days sober, so I guess I finally "got it right"! Finally!! So no, it's not unusual to have many failed attempts before finally getting it right. I just hope you don't have to try and fail as many times as I did before I finally stopped banging my head against that wall!

Just don't give up! You're not hopeless! You CAN do this! Some very good advice has been given you. I would try it. These people have a lot of experience to share and a lot of success to build on.

Keep coming back!

:ghug3

IO Storm

Hi LouLou.

The best time to get a sponsor is..now. Day 1. Next meeting...find a female

that stands out to you ..that you "feel" you can relate to..and simply ask.

If they say no..maybe they can offer to be a temp or refer you to

another..but do not give up.

A sponsor will guide you...and be there 24/7 for support.

I know if I had used my sponsors (I relapsed many times) the way

AA suggests...it would not have been so hard for me.

I know if I had made lifestyle and relationship changes it would

not have been so hard for me.

But meetings...a sponsor..and following simple suggestions can

make this so much easier for you...

My best to you!

bostonluv

I think it's great that you keep trying to quit after you slip. That's really brave in my book.

LouLou629

I love it here you guys thank you so much...its been 24hrs officially..and tomorow i will be back on thanks for the good advice as always and really without you today I may have just said "screw it"....Phew

Bamboozle

Hey, LouLou. Try NOT to beat yourself on the head over slipping up. Give yourself a break. You're trying hard to change not just a habit, but a way of living. That takes a lot of work, and there will be bumps along the way. Many people here before have noted that one doesn't fall into addiction overnight, so don't expect that you'll be instantly cured.

I'm not a success story (sorry ), but I haven't given up the fight. I'm inching towards three weeks sober (my longest attempt was about 33 days). This is the umpteenth time I've quit. This is the hardest it's been yet. I'm not really sure why. I'm fed up with myself, but I'm not as scared as I think I should be. (At least I've had more sober days in 2008 than drunk days. That's an improvement compared to the last six years.)

Remember: You're human, and humans make mistakes. I haven't met one perfect person in my life, nor have I met anyone who could fairly judge me. Keep coming here to SR for support. Take it one day at a time. Thank you for sharing your story.

LogCabin

I slipped over and over again the first year of trying to get clean and sober. I just never gave up. And I reached out for help and support. I could not do it alone.

Each time I messed up...I tried to learn something from it. Now I admit when the slips happen so close together...you can't learn much. But keep trying, and keep listening and reading to every word you can.

I tried everything...including keeping the AA big book by my bed and just reading it when I was laying there sick the next morning. I would be having such great anxiety attacks that reading the words helped me calm down. It gave me a small light of hope in a dark and sick place.

Not everyone can do it the same way. Just don't give up. If you want it more than anything else...it will happen.

The miracle for me was to be able to put more and more clean time in until I had reached 10 months. And when I relapsed I just got right back on track and put in 2.5 years. Then I fell down again. I hope with all my heart I don't ever slip again. But for me it got to the point where I LOVE feeling clean and sober more than anything else. And the thought of putting a glass to my lips scares me soooo much.

CarolD

Hi again...
Please check your PM box

I was in AA .. out of AA half in ... half out
4 years before I finally quit drinking.

...Yes! you too can win over alcohol.

LouLou629

Horray ! ON day five! YIPEEEEEE

JigOvLife

You go girl!!