Blake'sTyger

It's just me in my little one-bedroom apartment, and I feel like it makes staying sober sometimes easier, sometimes harder.

Is there anyone else who has gone through this? How do you deal with temptation late in the evenings when there's no one around?


B'sT

tsukiko

Hey. I live alone in a one-bed apartment too. I'm not actually there at the moment though. I was living in a total crack house, then four days in to cold turkey came to stay with a mate away from London, now I'm crashing at another mate's place. Then I got my apartment. It certainly does make sobriety easier than staying in a crack den, heh, but yeah it can make it pretty hard, sort of lonely.

Where I'm staying at the moment I'm here alone most nights too and it drives me crazy sometimes. I d'know what advice to give really. When I get real antsy and I'm here alone I tend to drown the thoughts out with real loud rock music and just clean like crazy or dance like mad until I'm knackered. Sounds stupid, but gets some of the frustration out. I'd just say if you get bad then write everything you feel down (cliche but can work), if you're restless and angry then dance and play music until you're too tired to think or do anything ...and of course get youself on to the forums here cause' then you dont have to be alone -smiles-.

When I get real bad I often come on here and type huge ranting posts about how screwed up I feel, but once i've typed it and got all the bad thoughts out I feel a bit better and dont even end up posting them.

Stay strong!

Dee74

Thoughts of a sly drink in the evening and 'no-one will know' don't come into it for me. I'm not doing this for anyone else - it's for me.

Of course I drank a ridiculous amount to get to this kind of determination

Living alone can be tough - I changed my life - I didn't sit around all day like I used to - I made sure I was busy - I made sure that there was as little space as possible for me to fall into old habits.

Posting here and helping others helped me a lot in that respect.

keep up the good work BT
D

sailorjohn

Well, I have a big old house that I live in by myself, with the exception of the kitties. I'm not sober today for anyone but myself, so whether or not I'm alone at any particular moment is meaningless. If I decided to drink today, I would know, and having been in the program and having gone back out, can assure you that nothing will ruin your drinking more than having a taste of AA and knowing deep down that you're f**king your life up.

bostonluv

I live alone and I've thought before: I could pick up a drink and no one would know. But I would know. Honestly, I scared myself last time I drank and had really bad withdrawals and that has helped curb my cravings for now at least. However, I have failed many times because I live alone. I could probably fail just as easily if I didn't live alone. I found an empty brandy bottle under my bathroom sink the other day. Stashed away for when my boyfriend came over to visit.

CarolD

Living alone is perfect for me.
It's always been my preference

I'm available to answer or use my phone
I called AA members a lot in early sobriety
...now it's my turn.

I am often here at SR late nights
I can use cyber AA meetings w/o distractions
I keep no alcohol in my apartment I'm a non drinker.


I'd rather live alone
than to wish I did.

kj3880

I live mostly alone. My teenage son is in the big old house with me, but he's out w/friends or at school a lot. And he has little use for me when he's here. Usually he has a buddy over. I'm so alone. One thing that helps me some is I have a lovely labrador. She loves me and cuddles me no matter what. I only have to look into her eyes and know that at least I'm loved.
KJ

Astro

I live alone except for the nights I have custody of my kids or when my GF comes over. At first it was hard, so I went to more AA meetings and went out for coffee afterwards. Nowadays I'm pretty comfortable there, I use the quiet time to catch up on housework, exercise, reading, and sleep.

winwin

I'm also alone except for my animals. It is very hard sometimes. It is easier for you to relapse and have no one know about it. You just have to make up your mind that this is what you want to do and stick with it. I rely a lot on the people at SR and I really appreciate them. I am only on Day 8 but it is further than I've ever made it.

bostonluv

Day 8 is great win win. There are some people looking reading that now and thinking, I wish I could do that.

Rowan

I live with my 12 year old daughter, three cats, and two dogs. I'm never alone!

When both girls lived with me and were much younger, I was very new in sobriety, and also newly divorced. On the nights the kids went with their Dad, I had a very difficult time. I went out a lot, and was very rarely home. Loneliness, isolation, and boredom were big triggers for me.

I go to a lot of meetings today and I'm active in the fellowship, but I love nights to myself. I can have a hot bath and read a book in there for hours, I can eat in bed, surf the net late into the night, download music, clean the house (only when absolutely necessary), phone a friend, pray or meditate, whatever.

It's all good

four812

yup....I'm alone tonight and am going to be living in my own place very soon.

I've had no problems not making it home and smoking crack while leaving my girlfriend to fend for herself and then come home late...and leave for work in the morning. I was doing that when I was married and still living with the family

I chose to not use today....I chose it over the urges to use. I did not get home until 9:30pm.....I've had a full day and lived the whole gamit of emotions that can come in early sobriety....

and right now it is peaceful, and silent, and all i hear is thel humm of this harddrive and the animals eating.

it can be tough to live alone and it can be tough to live with others

it is kind've simply a matter of choice...although sometimes it seems like I have no choice....like I've been driven to use by my inner addict and I have no choice.

I like what was said about "it matters less about if others would find out because it matters because I would know (if I used).

nice thread

Ananda

I've lived alone since 19 (except my son lives with me). I am now 49 and he is 29.

Usually we live completely seperately in the same house...him downstairs, me upstairs, share a kitchen.

However due to renovations we are both sharing the upstairs right now.

I like living alone. I think it would be harder for me to not drink if I lived with someone. I like to have alone time and I like not having to share and make joint decisions. If I had to be around someone all the time I think I would want to drink more to create some space between us and get some sorta alone time where I am not thinking about the other person and can think in my head more. (yeah, thinking works just fine for me most o the time sober.)

I have found a way to be very happy with my single life most of the time.

barb dwyer

When people come to visit me,
the first thing they almost always say
is 'wow your place is so CLEAN'
my answer is
yeah - I live here alone.

After spending the greater part of my life
living with some man I didn't even want to talk to
much less sleep with
alone works for me.

Quite well, in fact.

deezaldog

I lived alone for many years, bought my own home and was happy. Then I married a crack addict and life went out of control. My choice was alcohol and he hid his crack use for a long time. Saw the signs but couldnt make the connection since I didn't do crack. He drove me into the poor house. My fault. Now I live alone again and I am loving it. My animals have always been my best friends. I like them better than people. They always agree with me. I have been sober 18mo. and keep very busy in AA, full time student, part time employee. Very broke, very happy. I did not get here overnight. I had to work the program as hard as I drank. This site helps me with down time. Everyday gets better that I am sober.

nogard

being on my own is just how it is and I stay clean for me me one day at a time, so I know whats going on so does teh power greater than me and all my friends cos I tell em

Mattcake

Right now, in early sobriety, living alone suits me just fine. No chances of bickering and aggravation (I'm usually the one who starts it), I do my own (alcohol-free) shopping, and basically chill out at ease. My needs right now include lots of space and time.

Having said that, I'm not planning on becoming a cranky recluse. I love people, and a big part of my recovery includes learning how to set appropriate boundaries. It would be interesting to see how living with someone else works out for me this sober time around. It's just not in my plans for the time being.

Great thread!

least

I'm only alone in that daughter is leaving soon for college. Her best friend is staying with us now and will be here for several months til her high school is done, then she'll go away to college too. I am never really alone as I have my dogs and cats for company. But except for ten years with the kids' dad, which ended ten years ago, I'm happily living single. I'd rather be happy and alone than with someone and unhappy. Just my opinion...

sobergirl77

I also live alone. I have two apartments in two different states, although that is soon going to change. Out here in the south/mid west I have no problem being home alone. No particular loneliness here because I have family members that live within 9 miles of here. Plus I go to meetings every night and spend time after it socializing with friends I have made. AA friends are available by phone any hour. (I have some friends that stay up all night, even).

Up in NH it's a different story. The apartment is a lot smaller and my only friends out there are drinking buddies. No family nearby. No AA friends. I'm dreading going back there later this month to pack my stuff to bring it out here, but I'm planning to attend AA meetings every day while there. Hopefully that will help!

noooooly

Hello! My first post here.

240 days clean at home with 14 days alone (where I used). Girlfriend moved out two weeks ago today.

My Grandsponsor says she is an example of a "program that saves and changes lives" as she is back home caring for her kids and family with nine months clean. I couldn't agree more.

Now it's just me and my dog.

Thankfully, I live in a town that makes two or three NA meetings a day easy.

Although I have a general distatste for AA (after 15 years "Sober" and a five year relapse), I once heard an AA lady say "I finally became the person my dog always knew I was".

That's my goal.